From the Heart

I thought about Castle Bruce in May,

while looking at this rose I picked today.

I thought it would be withered now, since its no longer astray,

being stripped of its juices like nature's prey.

Yet I was surprised that its beauty survived the rest of the day.
I am now old, and my youth have long since faded away,

the memories of the past are all that stay.

My childhood friends, three were they,

they left me this summer and in the field they lay.

Their lives I would have died to save,

were plucked from me like the white rose i picked today.

I ran my fingers through my gray, thinking, when would be my day.

I'm ready, but its not for me to say.

That is why i pray, in hope that we will meet again someday.

I will lean back and let my Lord have his way.

— Jahleel Drigo, Dec 04, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: VIR

Favorite Poets: “Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful: he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work. So do you also: cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labour to make all one glow of beauty and never cease chiselling your statue, until there shall shine out on you from it the godlike splendour of virtue, until you shall see the perfect goodness surely established in the stainless shrine... Never did eye see the sun unless it had first become sunlike, and never can the soul have vision of the First Beauty unless itself be beautiful.”, Plotinus, The Enneads

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Sad indeed. Life is what it

Sad indeed. Life is what it is yet.... A little more tightening around the edges, and your poem is a keeper. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

Ink Dragon

16 years 6 months ago

Hi Jahleel,

a decent first post. A couple of typos and errors distract from the content (at least, they do so for grammar and spelling nutters like me). Please do incorporate the following corrections since it's no longer astray, I am now old, and my youth has long since faded away, I’m ready, but it's not for me to say. Also, some commas could be left out to make for a smoother read. The poem in itself is a good write, it reminds a little of "for the days of youth had fled/ and grey hairs were on my head" (Blake, Songs of Experience). Only a cautionary word about titles: "From the heart" is not exactly original and exciting, it doesn't "sell" this poem, I think. A couple of lines might also be improved, e.g. "I ran my fingers through my gray, thinking when would be my day." - the first part is great, the second sounds flat and commonplace in comparison. Do dare to rhyme words that have more than one syllable, which allow endless possibilities, instead of limiting your poetry. Regards, Ink Dragon

weirdelf

16 years 5 months ago

this shows potential

but, having read your profile, please read some poetry! You will learn so much just by reading famous poets (I favour the English Romantics and American Beats) and commenting on poems on this site. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

xena465

16 years 4 months ago

You're not alone

Hi Jahleel There's nothing we can do when we get old but we can reflect on what was good in our life rather than the bad. This is a poem that I wrote a few weeks after my sister died. Catherine I stare at the phone it’s silent. I check for messages. There are none. I look towards the letterbox. I now know for sure that you’re gone. You were beautiful, like a flower in bloom. Your essence swayed in the air. Fading when the wind became still, with no more dreams to share. `Where are you now Catherine? Can you see me from God’s light? Where did the spirit of my sister travel, when it vanished into the night`? As your spirit is raised from the Earth, and the Heaven’s open the gates of paradise, when the Lord embraces you with warmth, let him wipe the tears from your eyes. Feel the love that surrounds his garden, as you bathe in Heaven’s holy water. Your body died on Gods earth. The Lord has reclaimed his daughter Touch the beat of the spiritual heart, Let him reassure you in your long sleep. The Lord is our Shepherd until infinity. No longer are you Catherine… a lost sheep. xena465

Jahleel Drigo

16 years 4 months ago

Ur Right

We are not alone.There are many others who feel the same way.Writing poems is a great way of portraying your feelings.Keep going Still smiling Jahleel Drigo