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I’m in the process of submitting poems to magazines and therefore deleting them. They may be up again later.

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Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 5 months ago

Hello Nina,

This relationship is poison to you. That is what this poem tells me, and so descriptively, too. These lines say so much: A tsunami of hatred washed over my shores then drowning the autumnal trees and their hopeful fruit until my forest, once fertile, fossilized Always, Cat
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks, Cat,

you got the essence of this poem. I feel like apologizing to you, as I am not describing a real situation. So please don't worry about me, I am not having a relationship that poisons me, as you so adequately summed up my poem. But I am very much wowed by your comment, thanks a lot. Yours, ~Nina
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

I’ve stood on the same

I've stood on the same precipice, fossilized, immortalized. Excellent poeming! ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks, Anna,

"Excellent poeming", one of the nicest compliments I've ever got :) Yours, ~Nina
L

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Nina

What a traumatic situation you have portrayed. Very sad indeed. I read your comment and I am glad it does not pertain to yourself, but I, like Cat, thought the same. All said and done, your words are choiced aptly and this is written well. Got me in. Love to you and yours. Lyz. XX
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Lyz,

thanks for dropping by. I am now working on the second Geography lesson, I think my brief spell of writer's block is over. (YIPPIE!) Glad my words drew you in. Yours, ~Nina
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dearest Nina

Good to see you posting again ... have missed your words floating my page .. My favourite stanza A million years ago, a lush valley lay here - back then when my veins glowed with the warmth of your blood - but you betrayed my September yearnings the only thing I would think to change ? would be to have you posting more Madame poet love and hugs J x x x
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

My dear Jayne,

your wish could be granted soon, I am already working on "lesson" no.2. Thanks for the read and the comment. Love and hugs back, ~Nina P.S. Your pic with the T-shirt quote made my day! *chuckles*
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Dearest Ann,

this is a first - you speechless. What a compliment! Thanks, ~Nina
L

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

YIPPEE !!!

Back at ya. It is a good thing you have finally rid that writers block. Yes, no. 2 is a moment away and we wait with anticipation. Well done on this No.1. Love Lyz. XX
B

bjp

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Nina,

This is a good poem! Let me repeat some of the outstanding phrases: "undercurrents of stale affection" "when my veins glowed with the warmth of your blood" "drowning the autumnal trees and their hopeful fruit until my forest, once fertile, fossilized I know this deep sea’s ground consists of coal and wonder at times if it might still be afire yet I cannot muster the courage to dive in" The ending is a "cliff hanger". Just joking; it is good. I will say, I don't like the second line. The first part is cliché while the second is redundant. I will not suggest an alternative. I also have trouble with the cake line, which is witty but trite, and the word tsunami (if you use it, it does not "wash" but does more dramatic things). You have an excellent head on your shoulders. Don't find quick fixes; take your time. You have the beginnings of something really good - don't do a patch and glue job. Brian
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Brian,

thank you for your close review, but I must say that this poem is exactly how I wanted it to be now - triteness and clichés included. I wanted it to be read as part of a conversation, and I think it did the trick, as you can see from the above comments. No matter how "excellent" our heads are, we all talk bullshit at times ;) Nevertheless, I am considering changing the "cake"-line and replacing "cake" with "champagne", which will lead to some other changes. I am still working on pt.2 and 3, and am toying with the idea to record all three parts as a spoken word poem. I would feel honoured if you would read lessons 2&3 and listen to the recording when it's done. Yours, ~Nina
A

anasta zia

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Nina,

I got caught in Olya's left open page. Brian
B

bjp

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Nina,

Of course I will, Nina. Brian
O

odd molly

16 years 5 months ago

Sweet Nina , I loved your

Sweet Nina , I loved your geography lesson even though it is full of sadness and hurt. You write beautifully and how wonderful it is to read a poem where all the lines are a piece of art like this one which is my favourite because it paints a picture in my mind that gives a special colour to the rest of the poem :* million years ago, a lush valley lay here- back then when my veins glowed with the warmth of your blood -but you betrayed my September yearnings * I love that you used a million years ago..and the warmth of your blood.. Congratulations to the spotlight. love. o molly
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Molly,

thank you so much for your sweet comment. I must admit I'm rather fond of the lines you picked as your favourites, so well met, dear poetess. And thanks for letting me know about spotlight, I hadn't noticed that. I hope to have more time for reading and commenting soon, and will definitely have to see what you've been up to. Loved your flavour poem, by the way. Yours, ~Nina
C

Craig Norris

16 years 5 months ago

nice one Nina

enjoyed this a lot, I find the line... waves of anger camouflage undercurrents of stale affection, very interesting. I love it for it's economy and its power, and also because it is tricky yet accurate, the use of anger to disguise lost affection is common, but somehow we do seem to find it difficult to recognise, geography is such an underrated subject. cheers Craig
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks, Craig,

your "geography is such an underrated subject" has just made my day. Smiles, ~Nina
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 5 months ago

I loved most, the last 3 lines, they held possibility & hinted a

Hi Nina, on a too rare Neo visit, I find you in Spotlight ... hoooray!!! This is a powerful & heartbreaking work, & you have put it on the page so well that the imagery leaves an afterburn of emotional recoil. A good poet takes you on the journey with them, transports you via words, you have done this with ease in this write reeking of tragedy & loss. I loved most, the last 3 lines, they held possibility & hinted at future & life beyond the tragedy, they were just right to set this sense for the reader to breathe. and so I hang from this cliff poised to jump frozen I do love it when I know you are warmed & thawed dear Nina... Much affection. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama
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Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Anni,

your comments are always a treat. Thank you so very much. I hope that you are busy with your otter and other gorgeous things, and that there is nothing negative consuming your time. Sending you lots of love from up here. Yours, ~Nina
deelilah

deelilah

16 years 5 months ago

Hello Ink Dragon

Nina, this is good. I am looking forward to the next lesson/s. 'An unfathomable ocean lies between us now waves of anger camouflage undercurrents of stale affection - if our love were a cake, I’d have thrown it away by yesterday -' Please do not change 'cake'. I can relate to cake perfectly as going stale. Champagne, on the other hand, loses its bubbles. I actually like the cake line the most of all. Yours, Deelilah
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

How funny, Dee,

that you liked the cake line so much. I may stick with cake after all, as I don't think one says of champagne that it's "stale". Funnily enough, the reverse is true in my native tongue. Cake cannot be stale in German, but champagne can. Languages, eh? Glad you dropped by, thanks! Yours, ~Nina
H

hillrider

16 years 3 months ago

Feeling a loss

What I have come to regard as a comfortable library of wonderful reads will be slowly deleted? I feel the loss already. Having spent many an hour in this comfortable room, I will miss the well worn pages and comfy feel of my favorite chair. The upside is hearing that all new volumes will soon fill the shelves. Anticipation begins to grow... even a lawn chair, unfashionably supporting my arse becomes comfortable, as the world outside drifts away and I lose myself in your creations. Indi
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Indy, Hi Nina, First

Hi Indy, Hi Nina, First congratulations on getting your poetry to a wider audience. It is a worthy endeavor. And I agree with you Indy, that's why I will never submit poetry to a site, or publisher who only wants unpublished poetry. There are plenty of publishers who, especially in this age of internet access, do not make that stipulation. No matter how many times I may read a poem on the net, I will always long to hold the poem in my hands in a book of poetry, bound with a beautiful cover and perhaps artwork. Love, Anna "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine
M

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

YOU GO COOKIE GAL

Ink You have inspired a many on here and I am so proud of you for letting it go and doing something with it and much success to you with love. Ms Mona