Second Sight

I was surprised and a little awed of this one ... its a remarkable write ... what can I say ... thats not been said before? ill have to think on that one lol (huggles) and love Lil Sis

Freedom from being comes at the most unexpected of times. It's a gift to be able to put it into words. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

I never find fault with or in your words. This is just stunning. What more can I say Be well Chrys

I read your poem with interest. There seemed to be a wonderful poem stiffled by extraneous wording. Foregive my meddling but I went through it and here is the result: Earth spins, in watery eye and fluming breath; cold etches into lines that sting my icy cheeks. Steps press upon a virgin floor, and state my purpose to arrive. But where? There is scarce sense to care. Only sunlight washing copper-yellow, pit my worries held in shadow, muting their intent. My carcass drags useless thoughts into familiar places, buried days, with sucking earth swallowed by nailed down, years. Now, disembodied, it drifts, forgotten, flowing with its tones and hues of scathing light dancing naked feet upon my grave. No earth remembers when I laughed, or cried, or slept or dreamed. Floating in clear air, complete, with second sight this morning light. With every path I take, my steps no longer trace their worn intention with deceit. The world’s grown honest beneath these trespass feet. I am thankful for your creative efforts. I suggest that you choose your words more carefully, stop using words that are used commonly in poetry, start reading other poets in the greater world if you don't already do so and be wary of redundancies which were the most significant editing requirement for this poem. There are a number of profound collections of words in your poem. These profound phrases should be the core of the poem after editing. With respect, Olya

Sweet Keith, To be completely honest, I was slightly baffled by this piece. It seems to me about having lived a life not worth remembering, but it changes tone at the last verse. I love the language and terms that you used. Love, Cat

always enjoy the way your poetry tells a story , and brings in the reader. The word usage is something I like to see in poems, far better reading than the usuall poems seen . But you have always had a way with words. me, I'm still working on that . in any case , when ones thoughts become clear and a weight seems lifted if only for a brief moment in time what a serene feeling one has.. BrownEyesBlue

I always have an array of feelings and emotions when readiing your poetry, whether sad or happy or anything else. your poetry is always a pleasure to read and an enjoyable experience . Hope to read more soon. BrownEyesBlue