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MAN AND SEA (1)

SEA

O, dwarfs, what do you think

Shallow are you as my brink

Can’t conceal a little badness

Divulge in the public with madness

Look at me who am boundless

Buried are coffers but am soundless

You get power and begin elation

Poverty incite you on relegation

 If feel sad and you weep

Similes my use for your grief

If jubilant happy and gay

On my waves you want to stay

Bad or good virtuous or vice

In me abode indecent and nice

I abhor not the man behind sin

You kill him, either he a kin


— MASAQIB, Nov 28, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: PAK

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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

16 years 6 months ago

Akram...

Welcome to the site, I see you've posted a few poems already, but this is the first I've read... I believe some punctuation may help your reader catch the flow intended, I personally like to use less punctuation too, but usually use line breaks to determine the reader's rhythm. It seemed to me that some of the rhyming was forced, didn't really fit other than the rhyming aspect... but with that being said, I did like the content, it has potential of being a very good poem... just one man's opinion... welcome again... please do join in and make comments on the other poets works... let them know you are here. Richard