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Seren
Seren
Nov 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

No Explanation

You asked
what I was thinking,feeling
how does one
put all the strings of thought
into one perfect explanation
I fail everytime

you cannot see
the walls of sorrow
that fall around me,
casting in gloom

all eyes are blind
to the magical
spectacle of starlight,
kaleidoscoping emotion
to pour through
like adrenaline

and no ears can hear
the Ecstasy
as my heart,veins,
capillaries
pulse with rhythm,
as I shoot
for the stars

I cannot tell you
how I think
or feel
 

— Seren, Nov 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

O

Orphani

16 years 6 months ago

This is an exquisite

This is an exquisite masterful work of art. It expresses my deepest thoughts that we can never be truely understood except unto God. We are temporary orphans all. Magnificent in its truth. Barry..o...
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest B

This is a question I get asked a lot as you would understand ... and I have writen 3 pieces ... this was the first ... and again always for your wonderful compliments ... made my day today ... thank you for that love and hugs Jayne x x x
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

You write beautifully

as always, and you have put strong feelings into this, but no, we can all assume my darling girl. I love how you have put yourself into this also, and wistfully let your heart take over. No fantasy vision just real. I am very impressed with this write because there is no falseness about the content and it flows, reads, and holds so well. Many will assimilate to this poem, it reveals more than you know. Be proud honey. Love always Lyz. XX
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Lyz

You buggar you made me cry !! lol I am down for the count at the moment ... doing most things from bed ... just taking it easy I am so tired the last few days ... will be round reading later on ... gotta get to the docters again today... give our girl a hug and rub the bump for me lol Bj was so excited which in turn made me worse lol !! I wont ask what I revealed lol I dont know if I want to know love and higgliest bugs Jayne x x
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dont cry

I am just around to read a little myself. You know This is a very good write on a grand scale, so we will leave it at that. Praise where praise is due. Jade is a little sick today, it will pass, joys of pregnancy, lol. And off to the Drs again, it does get to be a pain, but you behave and take it easy in this heat, I am over it. Love to you and take care. Love Lyz. XX
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

you know its funny it didnt

you know its funny it didnt sound so grand when i wrote it lol sooo that you guys like it ... wooot I am stoked i thought I fucked it ... tell the girl I went out in sympathy with her today lol love and hugs Jayne x x
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Told ya I was a stalker, lol.

No, on a serious note, this is grand. After I had read it I read again and I could rave on but you have mastered a few of late but I really have accolades for this one. No fuck ups here in my eyes at least. Jade is fine now, she ate, lol, now off to pay a bill. Love you all. Lyz. XX
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Liz

I will tell you a little secret all those months I was writing rhymes , back in the dark and never submitting I was writing blank verse ... till It come together and finally when i let go it did ... I just let go and let if come ...the ideas are like a tap now, I cannot turn them off lol thanks for your continued support and reads hun (huggles) love and hugs Jayne x x
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 6 months ago

No Explanation...

I couldn't have said it better myself! There is no way to say how we feel, exactly. Or to explain the ways we come to the places we are and were. The threads of thought are too tenuous and fragile to bear the full weight of scrutiny. We lose the paths we travel, because we do not look back, or note sign-posts. We are too focused on the moment. Let me focus on the moment now and say only, that I see that you have written something that resonates with us all. Higgest bugs, and loads of love, ~ Gee
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Sir Gee

Somtimes when we try to put into words what we want ... its impossible ... when I started writing this I was attempting to explain ... but then half way through realised I cannot explain the unexplanable ... my mind lol thanks for the read and the comment huni it is very much appreciated and gave me a smile nice to see you love and higgliest bugs Jayne x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Shan

Big Smile I am soo Happy you like this one ... made my day actually thank you love and hugs J x x x
B

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

And like many non-explanations, it is an excellent explanation. Olya suggests a change to the line "and no ears can hear" to "and ears can not hear". She suggests removing "in doing so" from the last line of the first stanza. Also, the common after "everything" in the second last line of the second stanza can be omitted and a comma inserted at the end of the third line of the same stanza. I don't know if you planned it, but if you take a pencil and draw two strait lines, one on each side of the last line, and in each case draw straight up on either side of the poem's words (without wiggling), it is like a gaze upward to the sky - or a spotlight trajectory. You are becoming confident in this new voice of yours. You are stretching it, yawning and giggling. This is really good stuff - the stuff of self - communicated in an exemplary fashion to the us who are not contemplating the yaw of tomorrow. Higgliest Buggiest Hugs, Brian
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Brian and Olya

You have done what I planned to do today ... my goodness I didnt notice the structure of the poem I was too intent on writing it lol but your right I just did it ... Amazing what our minds do unthinking ... I dont know about confident but I am willing to take risks now that I wasnt prepared to before ... hey I fall on my face I will get up and dust off and move on lol as it should be ... not sit and wonder wtf I am doing wrong ... and thats what I had been doing ... I always appreciate your time here and never more so than today ... I had a poem I was hesitant to submit last night will give it a go tonight and see what everyone thinks lol to be honest I think it needed one more edit will look at it when the weather cools down my brains not working real flash in this heat not productive for writing but the nights ? are spectacular ... love and higgliest bugs Jayne x x x
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Indeed. Listening to your

Indeed. Listening to your own voice, you walk the path less traveled my dear Jayne. Bless you for sharing. Mum "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Mum

You right for a long time I wrote with a voice it was what I thought people wanted to hear and it wasnt me and i still dont know that I am fully listening ... but the doors open, and words creep out to taunt me and I catch the little buggars and trap them to the page ;) love you J x x x