Candlewitch

Nov 25, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Saints Don't Suicide

Saints Don't Suicide 1/20/2001

I know the words I've heard the song

thing is I'm too far down to care

don't want to listen to the music

when I can't sing along

open my mouth and children stare

just a ghost without a voice

a man who made a choice

took the long road

maybe the wrong road

was turned back at the gate

because saints don't suicide...

the man said, "son you're a disgrace"

"there's no hot lunch and NO free passes"

"go back to earth and take your place"

"among the rest of the faceless masses"

"if you want to die young, boy, you have to earn it"

"seen your record... think maybe you should burn it"

because saints don't suicide

So here I am once more

a man alone lost of pride

among the humble and the poor

no place safe for me to hide

just a ghost without a voice

a man who made a choice

took the long road

maybe the wrong road

was turned back at the gate

because saints don't suicide

— Candlewitch, Nov 25, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more., Candlewitch

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

yenti

16 years 6 months ago

Candlewitch

This piece was really very good and well written, mind you I haven't found many Saints on my journey here, but it is good to be reminded that they don't try to get home by a shorter route, Yours, Ian.T

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Ian

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it very much. Always, Cat

Dalton

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Candlewitch

Saints don't suicide. Surely all suicides were once saints. They've suffered enough. Earnt their wings. They destroy the world they leave behind them. Surely a pardonable sin. All babies are filled with God's love. All men and women vessels of light and darkness. Chariots on a stormlit night. The destination unknown... Love John.

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Dear John

actually, this poem came to me right after a woman told me that I was a "saint" for helping her by listening to her problems. I felt like a fraud, because at the time I was contemplaiting suicide. I'll have to see if I can fit this into a rewrite. Thanks for reading. Always, Cat

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Cat

This has the beginnings of a really good song ... I am a little tired but I will be back when I have had a rest and offer some suggestions ? hope your doing ok I been thinking of you heaps (hugs) and love Jayne x x

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Jayne

I can wait for you to feel better. As for now, I am in anticipation of your suggestions. Love, Cat

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hi cat

yes i can see a song in this but i am not one to write lyrics dan would be the man ,,,,,,,,zigs

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

hi Ziggy

Thanks for reading. Dan would indeed be the man for this job. But thanks to some folk, and their rude behavior, he is no longer sharing with us. I miss him and his work. Always, Cat

deelilah

16 years 6 months ago

Hi Miss Kitty

I have yet to learn the art of song writing. There are others who could get on to that one, like the guy who wrote "Devil". But I liked this poem for what it is. I liked the repeat on this line: "took the long road maybe the wrong road" and that sounds as if it should be in a song---as does the title. Yours, Deelilah

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Hello Deelilah

Thanks so much for your comments. You are a real gem. Always, Cat

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Caitlin,

This is a very interesting subject with a mix of brilliant and pedestrian. The line "don’t want to listen to the music when I can’t sing along" is perhaps the best synopsis of depression I have ever read. The lecture from the pearly gates is clichéd, although the fear of being merely in the masses rings better. I read your comment about the genesis of the poem. It may well be a good addition. And there is continuing tease of cross-gender: its own begging of the question. I think that many people, at some point in their lives, imaging themselves as the opposite gender. Some more than occasionally. Reminds me of "Prelude to a Kiss." This is a powerful line: a man who made a choice took the long road maybe the wrong road It is the woe of invisibility endured. There are few things as perpetually agonizing as feeling invisible. Brian

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Brian

I am sorry I took so long in answering this. I don't know what happened to me that I didn't notice my comments. I thank you for your super comments. Always, Caitlin

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 6 months ago

HelP!!!????!!!

You need help? Yeah maybe the suicide guy needs help... give him a noose or something! But help with writing lyrics? No way this is superb i found myself singing it and humming it... in fact I had a Bob Dylan fan at my work place ask me what i was singing because it was so good... so it is official go get a recording contract and be the next Lady GaGa but with finesse, verve, style and good singing voice... might not be the biggest seller Cat but the just because it sells en masse doesn't mean it is the best! Brilliant subject tackled effectively and in a great manner! Top marks from me! Dale :)

Michael Anthony

16 years 6 months ago

Hi Cat!

Echoing what others have already said. I enjoyed this write, and it does seem to have the essence of a very cool song in it somewhere. Especially liked the following phrase: a man who made a choice took the long road maybe the wrong road was turned back at the gate because saints don’t suicide… Good stuff Cat. Best Mike

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Cat

Wonderful. Yes, a song but also great poem. You and Edge are a talented duo. Great topic and title. I enjoyed reading this piece. Well done. Love Lyz. XX

Lunegirl

16 years 5 months ago

This is supurb stuff. I

This is supurb stuff. I agree with what brian has written about some of those lines and what someone else said about good lyric material. great read vicki ; )

mrillogical

16 years 5 months ago

great write

i like the title alot.ussually it's the good people taht end wanting to harmthemself,why becuase good people are extra sensitive.now moving onto the rhyming part,the rythem was great nice vibe and flow to the lyrics.

Annie-Rae

16 years 4 months ago