With the Clarity of Age

A forgotten memory
surfaced,
a submarine surprise
from all those years ago

fearing,
to mention your aprons
and funny hat,
talking of your
thirty third degree,
thinking
how smart you were
but secretly
scared shit-less,
in the cloak and dagger mind
of a five yr old

now holding photos'
of you in splendor,
rainbows of colour
denoting your moving up
in a world secrets

knowing the legacy
you stamped in history
to a knight
and my own
eastern star,
I bow my head

on my own path
I follow the light,
you illuminated
in mystery

and I pass it on

— Seren, Nov 25, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

So, how do you feel about your poetry now. This is a very sweet poem. And yet serious as most all poetry is serious, whatever its appearance. There is an h which needs removal from the last word in the seventh line of the second stanza. You are now a garden of the written word. Your sentences stalk upward and the many blossoms compete one with the other, as is proper. Hugs Bugs, Brian

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Brian

You know when I switched styles... I was the five yr old scared shit-less ...but thought to improve I had to take the leap ... this poem is very personal but its truth and my granfather was a great believer in lots of things ... and my imagination was cultivated by both my grandparents ... if I am any sort of poet they planted the first seed ... and I decided to write of their secret thats now NOT the great secret it used to be ... on both their headstones are their respective symbols ... A garden of the writen word ... thats precious Brian thank you for that .. and for your accolades .. A girl could get a big head if I didnt have four kids to prick my balloon daily lol love and higgliest bugs Jayne x x Btw I edited this a few times and everytime I missed the H lol

Orphani

16 years 6 months ago

I Am gratified to see your

I Am gratified to see your grasp, and command so artfully displayed. It's nothing short of stunningly elequent. I love your talent. Devotedly yours in art. Barry...o...

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest B

Thanks sooo much for your wonderful compliment brought a much need smile today ... I am still rather new to this writing in blank verse but I am slowly getting a comfortable foothold ... and its always with art evermore Love and hugs Jayne x x

seabhac

16 years 6 months ago

Hi Jayne

I do love it when you write in this way. There were many thoughts within thoughts here, ages within ages. History of life, lovely. Best Wishes to you Seabhac

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Seabhac

And I love your visits to my page you always have a kind word and make me feel like I have accomplished something ... thanks for that gift you give everytime love and hugs Jayne x x

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Clarity of age

Jayne This is exquisite my dear friend How do you do again and again I am in awe. Well I am of the age ha! but do I have the clairty you speak of? I believe I do. You words are stunning with such eloquence an special spirit you are If only I could write like this visit the realms you have an open door too. Well all I can do is scribble my few lines.......... Electric Blue

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

awwww Maggie thank you I am

awwww Maggie thank you I am humbled by your comment your a awesome friend will message you later this evening when the savages have eaten and are sleepin lol love and hugs Jayne x x xzz