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Z
ziggy
Nov 22, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

OUR MOON

Caulk white
reflected night
through a speckled
backdrop of impossible
journeys

illuminated by this ever 
retreating presence.
 
poised aloft , servile 
 drawing strength from 
its own predictability.
 
A flip side from the dark
a promise of another day

Then but just for
now it fades away.




 

— ziggy, Nov 22, 2009

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Country/Region: IRL

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Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Ziggy,

I really adored this one but I had a little problem with this verse poised aloft seems to draw strength from its own predictability how about poised aloft, seeming to draw strength from its own predictability and its just a suggestion ... another lovely write ... I am obsessed with the moon myself lol ... love and hugs Jayne x x
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

our moon

hi there jayne , glad you left some advice i have made some changes, i too love the moon being born the same year it was walked on lol chat soon thanks again ,,,,zigy
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Zigs

Jaynes suggestion is great as is this beauty, you are all blowing my mind lately. Fuck, yes fuck, I should stay away longer. I am greeted by such awesome writes and I am loving all. I know what I like and I have not read one poem today that has had me think, MMM, what the. You should all be very proud. Ziggy, you are doing a wonderful menage of poems, old or new, they are just grand. Well done my friend. Still waiting for your poem on your hometown, lol. Pressure. Love Lyz. XX
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hi there

hi i made changes to it cheers ha dont you be stayin away ya hear me but there is some great writes here lately if only my connection would stay long enough to answer them lol, cheers hun so glad you like them o ya that carrick poem as you said i got to put some some love in it yet, what a great comment cheers lyz ........ziggy
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Our Moon

Just a wonderful write my friend and I have read your Carrick on Shannon and I will haunt you until there is more, lol. Love Lyz. XX
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear ZiggyJust reread with

Dear Ziggy Just reread with your edit and that one word change has darkened the whole poem I dont know if that was your intent ,.. but its a good change just wanted to let you know I was rereading lol (hugs) and love Jayne x x
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hello agin

ah cheers for the return jayne yes darker is good lol cheers again i`m glad it still works ,,,,ziggy
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

16 years 6 months ago

Hey Ziggy

Nice to read your work. I loved it ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hi there

hi nice to hear from you this is a old write reworked cheers for comment and all,,,,,,zigs
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Oh yeah...

A brilliant poem about my muse, the moon. I love it. The moon is one of my fascinations. These are my favorite lines: poised aloft , servile drawing strength from its own predictability. You just keep getting better and better! Always, Cat
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hi cat

hi cat your comments always seem to put a smile on my face more often than not thank you as this is an oldy reworked cheers ,,,,,,ziggy