docmaverick

Nov 22, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Hoodwinked

A lifetime spawns
fractured sentiments prevail
too bad for the boy
with his denomic braintrap and violent ways.

A new day dawns
shards of broken dreams
enough for a lifetime
and it swallowed him into the now.

Another day dawns
creased-khaki-like badge of honor
his name is called
the quiet clickitl-clack of the bracelets echoes.

Another lifetime spawns
split realms govern him not
too bad for the boy
a victim for no creased khaki-like uniform.

— docmaverick, Nov 22, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Critiques

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Doc

This is a step away from your normal ... and I like it very much ... its brilliant actually ... have missed reading, hope your well ... love and hugs Jayne x x

docmaverick

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks, Jayne....

...glad you liked and understood the effort. By the way, I like your t-shirt ! "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear docmaverick,

Holy Hurricane, Batman! You have so fequently picked serious topics for your poetry. Now the measure of that seriousness is fully apparent. I was having my morning coffee when I reached the line "it swallowed him into the now". What a wonderfully terriffic line. And it is not the only one. This effort is huge. I felt it reach out and demande my attention. Congradulations for your poetic roaming and its outcome. Brian

docmaverick

16 years 6 months ago

Friend, Brian....

...I thank-you for your generous comments ! I agree, it was a step in another direction. I guess it's not as hard as doctor seuss. (By the way, that line's my favorite...too!) Thanks again, "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

I keep wanting to say

I keep wanting to say something... I can't except to award stars and nominations. & ask you if you meant demonic or denomic (meaning a game of making rules)? And Brian I love the "Congradulations" you confer. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

docmaverick

16 years 6 months ago

I meant....

...denomic......and thank-you for your very generous comment. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

anasta zia

16 years 6 months ago

hoodwinked

Greetings, docmaverick I appreciated “hoodwinked” (great title by the way). As others have written it is quite different from your normal fare. I think your unshackling from rhyming at the ends of lines has liberated you. I would suggest you might choose a word other than “shard” since it is used so often by so many. I love the use of onomatopoeia followed by the two “s” sounds in bracelets. The imagery is succinct – it is successful in conveying a cornucopia of emotions. i'm giving you five stars for the pushing of your own poetic envelope. Thankyou olya

docmaverick

16 years 6 months ago

Thank-you, Lady Olya....

...for causing me to feel pleased, with myself.....even, for just a little while. You, my dear...have a darn nice way of puttin' things ! As for the onomatopoecia, I would have thought it would've been the "clickity-clack", rather than that, of....."the bracelets", however.....good eye. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

Antoinette Mar…

16 years 6 months ago

I am....

swollowed into the Now...as I read this masterful piece....I too say it boasts of a different side of you...and I like it... Antoinette Mari

docmaverick

16 years 6 months ago

Wow !.....

....all these stars, for me ? Seriously, I thank-you for liking it, and I must thank-you for reading it ! "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Doc

This is a great write but I feel it is a serious write. A call to arms. That is what I read, maybe two meanings? I enjoyed and you have once again changed pace. Well done, Love lyz. XX

docmaverick

16 years 6 months ago

It was serious, Lyz.....

....but, I had to write and convey, that the fractured, downtown "hood", would make one boy go away to prison because he was IN the gang.....and the other boy, who denied affilliation with the gang, and died as a result for that ! I thank you for your encouragement. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Doc

All I can say is this is a brilliant write and you dear man, have a golden heart. Love Lyz. XX