ziggy

Nov 20, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

In the corner of this window

The lifeless sight of a fly
hangs effortlessly from
this spiders web .

only a gentle breeze
flickers life on to a
motionless shadow .

then as if to come to a
rescue a comrade finds
its self tangled

frantic to break free

but only to succumb to
the same fate
then i shut them blinds
and fall to my slumber .

— ziggy, Nov 20, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

Critiques

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Hi Zig

I smiled as I read this, it is a great write, and how true of a humans reaction. Funny, lol. One thing, last stanza, break it up, too sort of cloggy, if you get my drift. Apart from that I really enjoyed this. Well done. Love Lyz. XX

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hi lyz

hi there my friend this is my third attempt to try and reply this connection of mine arghhhhhh lol , anyway its a really old write one of my first and i was just woundering what comments it might get glad it gets a smile from you my dear ,,,,,,,,ziggy

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Hey man

You are on a roll and I loved reading this one, envisioning myself in your shoes, I got big feet too, I think, lol. Love Lyz. XX

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Ziggy

Ahhhhh, such is the fate of flies. I detest them! The title and theme are great, as is the pacing. Always, Cat

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

in the corner,,,,,,,,,

hi d there cat hows all your moggys keeping lol , flys no one likes them not even me as always cat thank you as this is one of my first writes before i started to date them i was just courious what might be said of it cheers for the reply ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Ziggy,

I do enjoy the imagery in this piece. Such as, "only a gentle breeze/ flickers life on to a/ motionless shadow". Your poetry is doing very well. I assume that the line, "then i shut them blinds", is a colloquialism or some touchstone to one's youth. It is distinct, grammatically, in the poem. Brian

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

in the corner ............

in the corner of my window i spot brian lol hi how are you , i am so glad you think i am doing well this is one of my very first writes a long time ago and its funny you picked out the last lines as they are the changes i made to this and you asked was it a touchstone to one`s youth which is very sharp of you nicely spotted the more pitfalls i become aware of the harder it seems to be write but i do enjoy the process many thanks ,,,,,,,,,,ziggy

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Corner of the Window

Ziggy Loved the imagery but I felt an association. I am the fly who comes to the rescue another Then gets trapped for ever in his essence so then together we will always be Blue

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

in the corner ..........

hi blue , how are you this is an old write glad you got something from it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Z.I love the pictures

Dear Z. I love the pictures your poem paints in my mind. It has a interesting 'texture' with lines as: *but only to succumb to the same fate then I shut them blinds and fall to my slumber * I love the thought that poetry can be found everywhere and in everything. love. o molly

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

in the ,,,,,,,,,,,

hi there molly i thought i had replyed to your comment anyhow, cheers i am glad you got a different slant on it as this was about writting on something anything that can often overlooked like you said poetry can be found anywhere cheers,,,,,,,zigs