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bunnymug
Nov 20, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

are you slipping, my dear?

quiet chants and pretty words

you took them from me

given from a full and tender heart

will they know they’re not yours?

 

why snatch my small whimpers

re-packaged as neon

shattered windows of memory  

are the shards of my soul  

 

my meaning lost and subdued

i rail at the cut cost creations

you feed your adoring fans

(plastic echoes of fragile perfection)

 

how dare you, cold heart

when you’ve so much of your own



— bunnymug, Nov 20, 2009

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Country/Region: CAN

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Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Bunny

What can I say .... this ones awesome on so many levels ... loved it ... cannot see anything to fault ... love Jayne x x p.s I tried to pick favourite lines ... alas they are all too good to pick :)
B

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear bunnymug,

This is a very interesting poem. I read it through twice. It is a new slant on the sting of loss. Except... there is one line of cliché added to cliché: "are the shards of my soul". Both "shards" and "soul" are on the "beware of use, in an immergency do not break the glass," list. Otherwise, this is very good work. Brian
B

bunnymug

16 years 6 months ago

Wow!

Sincere thanks for the comments, folks! They are much appreciated... Upon re-read, I agree with you, Brian.