Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Jumping Breasts

 

My breasts they jump and thump



and dump upon my chest

 

as I run, 

 

what fun

 

they don’t know up 

 

they don’t know down

 

they’re older now you see

 

and haven’t a clue 

 

that I don’t use a bra

 

when I should

 

if I could 

 

but its painful  

 

they aren’t a pair

 

one is from here to there 

 

and the other’s from there to here

 

one bigger and better 

 

and don’t compare

 

they’ll get angry 

 

and fly of the handle

 

its Ann’s boobs you know

 

there out in the snow

 

of Norway’s Winter Fandango.

 


A  well kown Dane: Halfdan Rasmussen wrote this far superior poem about the same thing:-

Badut springer Ruth er fantastisk 

hun hopper så lett og elastisk 

at alle de små attributter 

badutter privat når hun slutter. 

 
— Nordic cloud, Nov 19, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Oslo and Flatdal, Norway., NOR

Favorite Poets: Too daunting this.

More from this author

Critiques

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 6 months ago

I EDITED THREE TIMES

AND STILL THE FIRst two lines were scrumped together in an unsightly manner, so the aesthetics of this "Piece" are thoroughly destroyed, n'est pas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha ha! Ann with the uneven breasts!
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Ann,Five my darlin

Dearest Ann, Five my darlin ... your priceless you know that lol ... i needed a smile tonight huggles and love Jayne x x P.S got your pictures today will get them sorted tomorrow lol am a little wore out tonight
O

orgami

16 years 6 months ago

Love of life the human Condition

Love the spacing and the content I remember when we drew the human form in art college and then one class or two elsewhere I never was the godlike form and am quite happy with my Neanderthal shape nothing short of a few grand would make any difference Im not Holllywood I am more and more drawn to this norse thinking Ibsen was from somewhere there and Gustav Klimpt too?? Munch somewhere close?? You my dear are so full of life and passion and mirth not afraid to write of the write and this delightful frank peice has my deserved smile Your freind Orgami!
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 6 months ago

Perhaps it moose thinkings you mean?

Did you mean Holy wood? I am not sure it is a Norse-like way of thinking. Yes Ibsen was from here but I didn't know him in my childhood much, seeped in British fairy tales and writings. Gustav Klimt is German I think, or was he Austrian? Yes. I am definitely not sure I belong there. But Munch, yes he is here expressing all over the walls of the National Galley and in his special museum. I saw 'The Scream' by him just today but that is not my favourite of his, "The Day After" is good- she lies there on the bed her arm hanging out towards the floor completely 'not there' perhaps sleeping, so expressive, as is the one of his sick sister, that the N. authorities thought was just sloshings of paint, (smörerier-buttery) it has such an intensely sad atmosphere as the mother leans over the sick child. He has done some fine paintings but is not my favourite painter. Perhaps it moose thinkings you mean? Thank you for having fun with me Orgami, your friend Ann
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

http://www.edvard-munch.com/P

http://www.edvard-munch.com/Paintings/women/dayAfter_3.jpg Love this poem... I happened to watch a program about good & bad plastic surgery on stars. I was smiling because (if I remember correctly) 1 of 3 women have different breast sizes. It seems my children (& I being right handed) favoured my left breast. (Guess which one is slightly larger?) Hugs my sister in breast asymmetrical.. ~A p.s. I love Klimt & Maxfield Parrish & Erté--I have 2 Erté posters a gift from my daughter. "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 6 months ago

Your left! Anna.

My left. That's all we've got left to brag about!!! Maybe? Og course it depends which way one is looking at oneself as you see me or as ii see you! Who really cares? Ann P.S. Munch's (moonks)"The day after" Dagen derpaa" is so very different in reality with he brush strokes ALIVE. But thank you Anna. He's not my favourite in the NatG. that is either Harriet Backer or Kristian Krogh. Harriet being a female impressionist with such a hypersensitive brush and wonderful colour along with the caught atmosphere of intimate homely places is a master(mistress of art) And then there is the Danish woman whose painting I have in my kitchen in Flatdal, she shares each day with me when I am there, and I love her every time I watch her, there by the scullery sink, washing the vegetables, the sunbeam streaming into the partly opened door onto the red tiled floor and lighting the yellow little curtains at the window, and then there's her RED skirt and black top, oh the atmosphere is wonderful. A haïku of a painting. Its a painting by Anna Ancher wife of a famous MAN artist of course, and I let people look of they wish to find out who!!!
B

bjp

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Margaret Ann,

Great topic! And humour is a good method of trying out the boundaries. You too are taking adventure by the lapels and saying, "go forth". Congradulations. Brian
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Ann

I just think this is marvelous and cheeky. Well done and no, I cannot stop laughing yet. Lol. Another touch of humor from the Princess Of Norway. Thank you. XX Lyz.
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 6 months ago

I adore you Annushka... all the more for this you bloody winner

Ah YAY!!! I adore you Annushka... all the more for this you bloody winner, I have a gorgeous white haired friend in town we jest each time we meet & hug that we must fit the breast in the right place in order to be able to hug at all... in the health food shop yesterday we chuckled at a sign "gluten free buns", pointing to our bottoms proudly we asked for a similar sign each, after discussing with the delightful thin & flat chested shopkeeper, how she would never have to worry about knee polishing apendages. I have a terrible reputation with Elaine, the week before in there we were giggling & pleased as punch (like 8 year olds) to find a jar of chutney with beans called "Fart fodder", I can think of several people I could give that for christmass! Fabulous & brave of you to have such fun with such a tabu subject, you are my hero (& why should I be surprised?!). Cheers & much love Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama
P

paparazii

16 years 5 months ago

Oh Ann, you make me jump

Oh Ann, you make me jump laughing and giggling like a six year old girl. I admire your guts of having confidence to explain how THEY jump as you go up and about in the saindsdunes of Norways. Have you a beach somewhere around, i'm sure that you must've heard other woman talking about their booobs, having good time by the shore, watching the sunset or sunshine. Really a nice piece Ephy
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 5 months ago

So glad I amused you Ephy,

So glad I amused you Ephy, life is not so good without humour and if one can laugh at oneself then one can manage fairly well in this strange old world of funny ideas of behaviour; I was running down the hill through the forests but it could equally well be on the beach, but there there are all those 'Bay Watch' type belles and I am certainly not competing with their looks!!! There are not many beaches in Norway, the mountains drop straight down into the sea, or with glacial granite smoothed they make slides down into it too, so I would have to go to the south coast, and SW to find good beaches, the rocks again decorating their sides, or being rolling stone pebbles sometimes such lovely colours, or where the sea has corroded the rocks there are tunnelled sections like witches cauldrons, in French "marmites" casseroles!!! But this has nothing to do with my "apples" as my father called them!!! Love and thank you Ephy from Ann of Norway.
SH

shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

L:O:L

Dearest Ann , i have only found this now what a delightful and warm way of making light hearted fun at our selves this poem is totally charming, unfortunately me without a bra and running, there would be a great likely hood that i was arrested for disturbing the peace! with warm love and hugs shirley harrison
S

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

lmao

Bra in German=Gistoppenfrumflopen lol.I'll smile from your poem all day....scribbler