I'm No Good For No One No More

Battered and bruised,
Broken and abused,
You departed,
Leaving me lonely and afraid,
Broken-hearted,
Feelin' cheated and betrayed.

I protected you,
But You neglected me,
Unexpectedly.

You exhausted my uses,
And my story reproduces,
Each time I'm rejected,
And disrespected,
Trampled on and mistreated,
And now my purposes are depleted,
After you cast me out,
Reducing me to a wreck on the floor,
Look what you've done!
I'm no good for no one no more,
No good for no one!

You abandoned me,
And now;
Helplessly I lie, stuck,
Drowning in a slimy muck,
I'm an unsightly mess,
A heap of distress,
A tangled troubled clutter,
Fallen In the gutter,
In the pouring rain,
Being beckoned by the drain.
I'm a nylon-metal crash,
Dismissed as trash,
Waiting to be scraped,
Shovelled and brushed
And reshaped,
And then crushed.

— Poetree, Nov 18, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

=0)

Joel, this poem really does deserve a title, I just can't think of any to suggest at the moment. I like the pacing, as it flows just like good lyrics. You've done an excellent job here. Always, Cat

Poetree

16 years 6 months ago

Hi

Hi Cat, Thank you for your comment. I wasn't too sure about this one, so I am really glad that you liked it!!! I don't know if you got it from reading it, but it was about a broken umbrella ditched in the side of the road in the pouring rain. I don't know whether I should include "Umbrella" in the title (Something along the lines of The Umbrella's Cry) or if I should leave it to the reader's imagination - what do you think? Thanks as always Cat, Joel x

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

hi joel

I think I would include "umbrella" in the title. I got a whole different take on it, I thought it was about one person being abandoned by another. now that I know it was an umbrella, I wish I could give you five more stars! Always, Cat

poewriter58

16 years 5 months ago

I'm sorry

But my take is although you have a good rhythm going the poem is every cliche in the book. I find nothing of you in this poem, I would like to suggest when you write pretend that you are having a conversation and use your words to describe how you are feeling. As fo a title look at the body of the poem for the title. Or How did you feel while writing this poem the title will come booming in. I'm no good for no one no more (ouch grammar really does mean something) I look over the poem once again what about something like The reshaping of me---- for a title Can you see where I was able to find the title. You have created a poem, you will create a title Chrys

Poetree

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Chrys

Hi Chrys, Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my work! The poem wasn't meant to be about me or how I was feeling, it was purely about and abandoned umbrella in the gutter that I tried to personify. Because readers have said that they can relate to this poem I didn't want to include "Umbrella" in the title as I wanted to leave the imagination open so that people can relate to it in their own way, this is why I am a little stuck with the title. "I'm no good for no one no more" - this was done purposely to help the flow, I thought that including "no" three times in this sentence would help it to flow better than "I'm no good for anyone, anymore", for me it feels better anyway. Like you said, I wrote the poem so I'll find a title, I'm sure I will, I just wanted a few opinions to help me out a little. Once again, thank you ever so much for your comments, Joel.