America is a two headed dream

Hmmmm. A new Battle Hymn for the Republic. The end is now PERFECT. Love, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

Wooooooo .... this is one solid write ... I wont even offer suggestions I cannot see anything to change ... I bow to your pen love and hugs Jayne x x

ah originality at its best this has so many great lines thinking out side the box ,your PM , makes even more sence after rading this a fine write indeed congrats ,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I struggled with this because it is late & I am weary but when I got to the end I was right there with you, well done, it is a fabulous reflection... I had a fantastic conversation that clarified why America has many of the flavours it does (as a babe of the English pilgrims) as opposed to Australia, in comparison a far more relaxed & casual flavour I think (with more swearing & freedom of interpretation of morals & such) my otter (who was born there) reminded me that the American early settlers went because of religious persecution, so there was pride & righteousness that had to become a strength for them to survive such hardship ... whereas Australia was populated largely by convicts (& ruling gentry) all be it very often for ridiculous crimes of circumstance if they were even guilty half of them, that little snippet enlightened me enormously as to why the US is so inclined, so I am most happy to find this very interesting insight on that subject. Did I say how I do enjoy your writing so very much?... You really have such a talent with writing poetry. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama

your love song for America, very different from Leonard Cohen's, is a powerful first draft, but it sprawls, and its anger seems diluted by too many flabby words. I hope you can forgive me for editing it some, turning it into a second draft that needs a third and a fourth to become an alternate anthem. please accept my apologies if this offends you. it was a small labor of love for a content that I thought has to be more a fist in your reader's face: America, double headed wakemare, 
 I can only love one of you. Adam-borne atom likeness, stripes and stars lightning of your thighs. You are now become destroyer of worlds: green false god, one eye the light for each head, planting with the right uprooting with the left. Who was your father wrapped in peacocks plumage
 fueling your lust?
 Ravaging orgies, greed,
 consume your grace...
 But now a word from our sponsor, 
who gives you whiter teeth and
 cleaner breath...
 Your pride is a green erection,
 a ravaged face wiped with blood of your poor, on your pristine shores, prostitute in red white and blue, a bill is due.

Where is your romantic side? I enjoyed this kaboom in your face write. Quite strong, descriptive and I think it is a great write. Love the title. Love Lyz. XX

How sad to write of the pain in a nation dying. You have strong feelings and have expressed them well. I am used to your romantic writes and words filled with peace love and nature. You have a lovely spirit and it shows with all your writes. I still think it is a great write and still is written strongly. Love Lyz. XX