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professor
professor
Nov 13, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

To a Mermaid

My heart told me she loved me - but loved another more. Not as “we” loved, but different; a love from another shore. A shore that gave her comfort; a shore that filled her dreams; not storm-tossed in her little boat but warm, calm, and serene. I wondered that she still loved me, there seemed no reason why, but she could only answer "He" was her choice, not "I". Now when with every sunset she gazes out to sea, and dreams of the storm that found her heart, she calls once more to me. But "she" was too long coming; her boat too often beached; my love lost to an ocean floor no mermaid ever reached.
— professor, Nov 13, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: China/Sichuan/Chengdu, CHN

Favorite Poets: Yeats, Elliot, Auden, Keats, Shelley, Byron

More from this author

Critiques

P

Pumpkin123s

16 years 6 months ago

hello

i liked your poem!! it was very sweet!!
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Pumpkin

Yes, its the sort of poem that many people like....simple and with an image of lost love and pathos that appeals lol. I wrote it a while ago and it has turned out to be one of my most popular poems despite its brevity and simplicity. Best wishes Keith
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

to a mermaid

" ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN NEVER HAVE LOVED AT ALL " hi there nice write this has a nice flow to it with a story in tow which i liked indeed ....ziggy
P

poewriter58

16 years 6 months ago

Keith

Good to see your work again.. Am I detecting an undertone here and metaphor Chrys
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Chrys

Good to see you and Lonnie together in your pic lol. Well you know what they say about poems and their meanings....the reader may well see ones that were not intended but are nevertheless valid for them. This one certainly does not reflect my current state of mind but it certainly did once. With my best wishes Keith
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Keith

This is so wistful and poignant ... and I have a suggestion lol :O shock horror this is a first .. I will let you get hold of yourself first ... ok now? sorry in a good mood lol This lines underneath I had pause, I got hung up on the 'now when with' Now when with every sunset she gazes out to sea, 'Now with every sunset she gazes out to sea,' or it just hit me you could have 'when now with every sunset she gazes out to sea' that 'when' hangs me up everytime ... simply superb write though darlin ... another of my favourite things mermaids ... I read Pablo nerudas fable of the mermaid and the drunks lol and I have decided till I have a good solid idea as you have ? ill leave the mermaids alone lol with love and biggest hugs and a smile to you both Jayne x x x
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest JayC

I have considered myself before. The "when" helps with emphasis and sense but i can see why you might have got stuck on it. I have read that poem aloud thousands of times and it structure is embedded in my brain so without the "when" it would feel strange to me...but i am still pondering lol I may even put it on the site as spoken word to show how i would want it to sound...i'll just have to see Love and hugs Keith
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Very nice

I love this and it does remind me of an old movie I saw when I was young. I enjoyed the content and I found no fault. I enjoyed it very much. Love Lyz. XX
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Hey Keith, a little late in

Hey Keith, a little late in arrival....but my mind's tongue, too, was stuck exactly there.... I know about poems, once written, the words are almost concretized in the poet's memory. It will be interesting to hear in spoken word. Your *To A Mermaid* has a gentle touch, quite beautiful. Love, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Your timing is always perfect Anna

and thanks so much for commenting on this one. I think I will have to post it as a spoken word as well because that may well illustrate better how the irregular rhyme scheme and varied line lengths contribute to the overall effect. with best best and hugs Keith
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Ann

Your comments are much appreciated as always. Best wishes Keith
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Keith

Congrates on spotlight ... and its nice to have you back posting ... its always a pleasure to find a new one of yours And I totally understand the when ... they are always just suggestions lol love and hugs Jayne x x x
P

poewriter58

16 years 6 months ago

Keith

Congrats on making spotlight. I see you are picking up where you left off lol Chrys
C

Calliope

16 years 6 months ago

Ahh,my dear Professor

THis has always been one of my favorites,not only because of the subject but because of the poignancy...the love felt by both but too afraid to be expressed by one,only in the heart of the other could it be expressed truly with no consequence,a lovely expression of love unrequited. Bravo!!! Your teacher's pet Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
O

Orphani

16 years 6 months ago

Nice write Professor

Nice write Professor .Rhyming metered verse is not my style but I am interested in the form nevertheless as Robert Frost is one of my favorite poets who excelled in this form.I have one question though.In stanza one and two your rhyme falls on the first and fourth lines,but you break with that cadence in the third what are your thoughts on this.Also I found the meter a little rough in some of the lines. Particularly in the third stanza and fourth line.heart stops you cold becouse your looking to follow the rule of meter and instead of the completing to more beats it stops there at heart. and the entire stanza is out of meter.Thats why I don't like rhyming meter becouse you have to concentrate your skill on the meter more acutly than in free verse though when the imagery soars and the meter flows smoothly it truly is the most beautiful form. Your thoughts please.Barry.....o
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks for your comments Barry

This is very much a part rhyming poem although it deliberately gives the impression that it all is. I use the rhyme or abandon it for both flow and emphasis at key points and if you hear it spoken perhaps you would see that better and how it does not in fact catch anywhere since it is intended to ebb and flow and not be read in a metronome fashion which often happens with highly structured rhyming verse. I won't say this is by any stretch of the imagination my best poem and it was written in less that half an hour several years ago but it would seem to be extremely popular given the reception it has received over the years. When it comes to rhyming poetry then Yeats for me would perhaps be the greatest exponent with his early poetry in particular. However, he felt that his early "somnambulistic reverie", as it is sometimes referred to, was something of an albatross round his neck since in Ireland that was the poetry he was, and still is, most remembered for. As he wrote later in "The Coat"..."there is more enterprise in walking naked" and that rings true for many of us in poetry as in life. I do of course understand not everyone likes rhyming verse although arguably it remains the most difficult form to compose effectively. I will try and post this as spoken word when i resurrect the audio on my computer. with best wishes Keith
O

Orphani

16 years 6 months ago

I thank you for your

I thank you for your concise, and informative answer to my questions. I am a studant of this beautiful form of expression and curious about its aspects.Your break in form raises an interesting tecknical aspect for discussion.Time constraits do not allow me to reply as I would like, but I will shortly.This is indeed a beautiful and passionate bit of writing and tt's unconventional form allow for an interesting educational disscussion, from which we may all become a little more enlightended and appreciative.
M

magics02

16 years 6 months ago

lOVED IT

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS POEM HITS ME It is beautiful..I feel it..
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Magic

this is indeed a poem many people feel gets deep inside them even though it is very simple. with my best wishes Keith
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 6 months ago

A shore that gave her comfort; a shore that filled her dreams -

Ah delight, delight, delight to find not only a poem from you in spotlight, but one about Mermaids, such a favourite of mine in mythological heartspace. It is a sad tale & I feel for your amazing heart, but I am sorry I am so happy to see you here I can't help but continue smiling. In truth... I love it, but don't think it your best... still better than many could do, including me of course, I always love your writing & have missed you. I think your mermaid lost more than she knew in her oversight, coming to you! So lovely to see you here Keith, I guess you get the picture, I hope you are well & not too busy (or smitten with lost mermaids... they are hard to get over those wonderful creatures I know it well, I lost my heart to a mermaid once, yes you can think about it, but it was probably more noble than you suspect, chuckle). Dear man, it's true these things are potent temptations "A shore that gave her comfort; a shore that filled her dreams" What mermaid, or mere mortal wouldn't be called by that? Though I have no doubt any creature you once cared for would undoubtedly always be enamored by you in some way. Funny how you can miss someone you really don't know... but I have, so there you go. Be well wave washed Professor xx Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Anni

Im honoured to have you commenting on my work again...and as always at such length lol. No its not my best poem by a long way but it seems nevertheless to continue to have a great impact on many of those who read it. Potent symbols are mermaids indeed and many of us have drowned in forlorn hope of capturing their love although this one was written several years ago now. So you got caught by a mermaid too huh? I am flattered that you have missed me and i promise I will try to read some of your new work as well. I seem to have very little time at the moment and I guess you know by now that when I critique a poem I try to do a thorough job. Hope all is going well in your life too From beyond the waves Keith
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Theo

Funnily enough I have many of Freud's books sitting here on my desk....hang over from having been trained originally as a Psychologist lol. I drift in and out of Neopoet when I have time and so unsurprisingly not everyone reads my poems but that is the nature of all sites like this one. with best wishes Keith
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Hello Prof

My dear Sweet Keith, the story of this little mermaid is enchantingly brilliant in structure and content. I can't wait until I hear it in spoken word. Love, Cat
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Cat

Thanks as always. There may be a slight delay with posting the spoken version since I need to redownload the audacity software and my computers at home are all business ones where I have to get a friendly administrator at work to do it for me. As you know I will be a trifle occupied for the next few days but hopefully next week. Love Keith
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Conjecturing here, my dear

Conjecturing here, my dear Prof. Might you and Lady Lacy be taking marriage vows? If so, my deepest love for you both; joy everlasting. And I'll be catching the bouquet in spirit. Hugs, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Yes indeed dear Anna

we took them on Wednesday. The bouquet was thrown and I hope you caught it. with love Keith
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

A long and happy life

A long and happy life together, Keith & Lacy. And no I didn't catch the bouquet... I let someone else. Blessings, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Congratulations to you both

Sorry for butting in but I wanted to say congrats and all the best to you both. May you enjoy all the happiness that life has to offer. Wonderful news. God bless. Love from Lyz. XX
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Little Mermaid

Keith I also wrote a mermaid poem called Electric Blue Mermaid Alone in my solitude of unrequited love as I await my prince longing I sing melodies from my crystal blue heart across the oceans deep Sunsest come and go but I will wait Maybe one day my prince will come Wonderful my friend always Electric Blue
C

cricket

16 years 6 months ago

very interesting and yet deep

A poem in which I can relate my friend, oh to well!! When one waits to long they lose the Love that could of been, A true Love that could of set them free from the pain in life and to of found the joys of what a true love would of brought , but sometimes one waits till it is to late and maybe also has to live with regret . a good poem , well written. BrownEyesBlue
professor

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Cricket

I have not seen you on this site in a very long time. Yes many of us have been guilty of leaving commitment too late and have regretted it but have learned as a result. happy you liked the poem. All the best Keith
C

cricket

16 years 5 months ago

working on some things

I am working on some new poems hopefully nothing like my otheres, maybe you will see some improvement in them .. happy holidays .. be nice to get some pics again this year. BrownEyesBlue