Bonitaj

Nov 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

REDEEM THIS LOVE

Remake my beauty, tear it apart, torture me in Love's tempest,expunge my heart. Deconstruct this way of Being, no form, no shape, no Art,piece me back together, a new creation's start Debase my arrogance,smash this pedestal of pridedismantle my mainframe, leave shame nowhere to hide. Revelin the Ugliness of deeper, darker, longerthrash me to enthrallment,Samson, only stronger. Batter all images of 'pretty'
beyond burnishing the mask -embrace the revulsion, infuse imperfection as a task. Restorethis love to glory -for it can never be,unless you raid, plunder, ravish all the ugliness in me. BjR 11 November, '09

— Bonitaj, Nov 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

Critiques

Mrs Dalloway

16 years 7 months ago

What a powerful poem! I

What a powerful poem! I love it!

Bonitaj

16 years 7 months ago

thank you Mrs Dalloway!

Any friend of Virginia Wolf is a friend of mine! Thank you for stopping by! I shall return the favour soon! Bonita j

Bonitaj

16 years 7 months ago

I bow to the Master!

Thank you Kal! I had grave concerns about this one - as it followed hot on the heels of The Woman's Ashram... literally a day apart! THought it rather paltry after all the accolades for the latter! Interesting concept indeed though - I like this new idea of De-constructing things! Still a little "academia" left in me!lol Delighted you stopped by! Efgaristo! Boni

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

You are almost drawn cut and quartered

I do want to straighten the lines aesthetically, and some of the punctuation disturbs the flow for me, just being honest!! For instance "no form, no shape, no Art - piece me back together, " Art-piece? I don't think you wish us to read it as such, so cut out the dash perhaps. In face your dashes could preferably be commas I think as they disturb the language ? Otherwise Bonitaj I just love it, its boldness and panache, the way you have almost drawn cut and quartered yourself then reassembled you is genius, the idea of it. And you are merciless, and its rich, yes that's the word for it, standing there on your pedestal directing the form of yourself, it would make a terrific strange kind of film in slow motion! Love from Ann of Norway

Bonitaj

16 years 6 months ago

The most valuable comment to date

has been that of the use of 'dashes'! Thank you so much Ann! I think subliminally, since I do tend to rush things (according to Kal), I tend to "Dash" them off a lot! lol. Truth is I love using pauses - and the comma is never enough! (see, there I go again!) I totally agree with how it can change the structure and meaning as in Art-piece...! (not intentional), so I have changed it accordingly! Glad you liked it otherwise, would you care to star in the movie or merely direct it ;) lol Boni

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Boni

The format is like Ann said in need of a tidy buuuut maybe not? look at what you have writen ... its about tearing etc etc and that sounds chaotic ... maybe the poem doesnt need it ? but again another wonderful poem from you Boni ... girl you are on fire ;) love and hugs Jayne x x Btw I am very proud of how you've worked and struggled to find your voice in words .. and its been wonderful to witness your growth hugs

Bonitaj

16 years 6 months ago

I am astonished

That you and Ann find the layout untidy! I thought there was more than a degree of order in starting out with one word and then the rest in each stanza. Ah well! at least you interpreted that "chaos" into a clear meaning to match the substance of the poem! Glad you enjoyed it though! THanks for your continued support! lol Boni

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Boni I dont know what it is

Boni I dont know what it is but sometimes I have noticed when we view things in other countries it comes up looking different ... Nina and Beki had a problem with it a while back ... so it maybe not your poem it could be neopoet ... love and hugs Jayne x x

Bonitaj

16 years 6 months ago

don't sweat the small stuff...

I know I try not too! Thanks for that though! lol Boni

Candlewitch

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Boni

Your rhyming is superb in its simplicity. Is this a plea to a lover, a higher power, or a demand of yourself. I like the structure. A wonderful write! Always, Cat

Bonitaj

16 years 6 months ago

Delighted

That you got the structure that I intended Cat! ALways a pleasure when you give it your stamp of approval! lol CHeers Boni

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Boni

This read was another powerful write from you. You have a great way with your words on life and such. Applaud. Love Lyz. PS should you throw the mirror? only joking, if it helps bring those words to flow, look daily. XX

Bonitaj

16 years 6 months ago

Hi there!

This gives a whole new interpretation to Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" ;) lol Thanks Liz! Always pleased when you stop by! Cheers Boni