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D

Warder of Stars:

No creature she of human love
And neither spirit to ease the rub
Hair as black as earth, as ravens wing
Ever silent save in savouring

I watched her delicately pass
My ear did cherish the poison draught

Consonant with the sun and earth, she
Though I am scented with desire
Of myrrh and darkness oils a blood air
And does mist the thief from the defiled

Death dare not break the sanctum of this love
It shall shelter us when Eden as a woman
Is exiled to the East
For she desireth
I would have taken
dear alms from the olive
of her flesh
and known
this only peace

I loved her as she softly passed
My heart did cherish the poison asp

For the beast reeling to hideous rage
My love is a lioness within a nightingale's cage

For we are bred from the dearest age
To rise and not melt from the enemy
If the cold hand taught of pain
And the warm hand of love
There is love even in the teaching of pain
But this is lost in her cold hand
And her warm hand has now grown cold to me
In that I no longer seek its warmth

And yet union without love
Is as the rantings of a deaf mute
And joy unembittered by the deep
Flowing passions of the sea
Is as an arid stringless oud
For the notes teased by nothing more
Than a handful of lust
Are as flattering to the soul
As a palmful of dust

For the truth free from mocking bile
My love is a garden undefiled

The land below, above the sky
Eternal veil between my love & I...































— Dalton, Nov 10, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Dalton

I simply loved all of this ... I only have one suggestion ? The land below, above the sky Eternal veil between my love & I… 'Eternal veil between light of my eye' or something along those lines ... you get my meaning ... but I really think that last line strengthened will just be the cherry on the top Kind regards Jayne
Ravenshakti

Ravenshakti

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Dalton...

This poem is simply sublime... I loved every word; and the sentiment the words carry, is beautiful and filled with insight. Beauty and Insight. A divine combinaton, I feel... Exquisite work, Dalton. Love, Raven.
D

Dalton

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Raven

Thankyou Raven, Yes I was quite pleased with this peace, though it has quite judgemental overtones, and it loses itself in places, I changed a line or two in places in the middle, I don't know if that helped or not. That you like it means alot to me, john
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Thrilling

to read, and a little sad, heaven and earth, just a veil, well you have written a gem as far as I can say. Well done Dalton. I loved it. Lyz. XX
D

Dalton

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Aeron

Dear Aeron not sure what your comments pertains to. Thanx all the same for reading me.
A

aeron

16 years 6 months ago

don't mind me

was just not in the mood for something wordy. Pay attention to the other comments. Aeron
D

Dalton

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Lyz

Dear Lyz the last line "Above the land, beneath the sky Eternal veil between my love and I" Maybe this is wrong as far as the internal logic of the poem goes but I haven't the heart to change it. and alternate denouement might be "Eternal veil between my love and die..." but that doesn't fit at all even though in a away it fits in with the feel of the poem structually it would be wrong. I don't like to overthink these things as long as it feels right who cares if it isn't perfect. At the end of the day I'm the worst critic I right for my self it's a bonus if others like my work. Thanks for reading Love Dalton.
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Dalton

We all almost write what we feel and I enjoy this poem as is, if you change anything it will not sway from the meaning you were getting across, if you know what I mean. I think it is up to the writer, but we do heed others help if we feel we need it, I do, sometimes it works better. But it is in the long run, up to you. Dont be too concerned, you have a great poem here. Love Lyz. XX
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Warder of Stars

Dalton Great Title as for me I am always in the stars. After reading this I feel inadequate. Why cannot I write something as deep as this. I write my trifles I do try. But cannot compare to such powerful poets here. I will try blue
A

amalzamani

16 years ago

handful of lust x palmful of dust

I think you do great when you rhyme. I have many favorites in this one the highest rank goes to "Is as an arid stringless oud For the notes teased by nothing more Than a handful of lust Are as flattering to the soul As a palmful of dust" my second fav. is "My love is a lioness within a nightingale’s cage" you've created a great image in this line Enjoyable one thank you Dalton
D

Dalton

16 years ago

thankyou Amalzamani

thankyou for bothering to get back to me. your comments mean alot. i was very unsure of the stanza begining with the lines: Death dare not break the santum of this love" that whole stanza seemed wrong to me. but i'm quite happy with the rest of the poem. i kept the strange stanza in because i'm attached to the words somehow even if they are wrong. love and well wishes john
A

amalzamani

16 years ago

I think I know what you mean

sometime one falls in love and think it will live forever, then time prove them wrong. you can add to that line "I thought death dare not..." or "Death thought, he dare not break..." or something like that. I hope this idea will make you feel right about that line :)
D

Dalton

16 years ago

I don’t mind the first

I don't mind the first line of that stanza "death dare not break the sanctum.." it's just that stanza as a whole I have trouble with. that it's alittle confusing for the reader. thanks for your input. john