Depression 101 !/2

Alone, in a fork of some food
You call somewhere
One by one; the names
You chose with time
never ending but beginning
Over and over
The midnight you
Always looking, over singly
To find, your indifference
Full of the beds space, you
Don't wake the clock
With places to be , and not being
Not keeping hours; days, or life
Rising upon the perfumed air
Your pillows scent of why
Should only be everything
An awakening air you leave
Teasing that solitary bird
I don't hear Anymore
Because your ears left

My heart

— Orphani, Nov 09, 2009

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About the Author

Critiques

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Barry

This ones really good ... the depth is just amazing ... the being is apt ... the consuming of food or the lack of food is one of the first signs ... Awakening air Of not why but we teased That bird I don’t hear Anymore because your ears left My heart Your ending is sublime I cannot see anything to fault Love and hugs Jayne x x

Bonitaj

16 years 7 months ago

Hello Barry!

How interesting!~ !Before I read Jayne's comment, my only criticism would've been to say - I love it except the last lines!!! Now how is that possible? one man's meat indeed. "Because your ears left my heart" is just too literal for me to get it!! Sorry! Otherwise - great write Bonita j

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

What this means Bon, is that

What this means Bon, is that when she left the ability to sense life left.When you are distracted by someones leaving do you percieve things the same way. aren't you distracted. Because she left, he could no longer hear the bird. He was distracted.

Bonitaj

16 years 5 months ago

Convoluted

Poetic license... ;) but yes Now I get it! ... THanks for the explanation! CHeers Boni

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear O

A write of extreme and it is written so well, and you hit the nail on the head with this one. As Jayne said, signs. I see it often in myself and my son, not as bad as some but I feel for anyone with this deep emotional sadness. A sad poem yet the read was good. A clever way to portray with your use of words. I enjoyed. Love Lyz. XX

Cloudthings

16 years 5 months ago

you can pack a punch lad, that last line is a killer

Jeeesus you can pack a punch lad, that last line is a killer. & as always, so much in there that got to me & reminded me of the treacle heaviness of depression, you captured it really well with these words. Can I add that there were a couple of places I got stuck & had to pass on, but the rest made up for that you know... You really are an extraordinary writer. Hope you find more cheer for the season... lots here if you should feel like reaching this far (though I don't presume this is entirely autobiographical, just putting it out there in case... now I'm squirming cos I hate stepping over that line, hope you forgive me). Cheers Anni~ "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet.