odd molly

Nov 08, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Nina

come
pick me

here in the meadow
I smell of lilies of the valley

and in the wind that nurtured
my petals
your song is written

so come
break my stem

and let my brittle bells
sing it to you

— odd molly, Nov 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

Oh, Molly!Oh, Nina! What

Oh, Molly! Oh, Nina! What bells ring!!!! The scent of heaven on our fingertips! ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

odd molly

16 years 7 months ago

Thank You so much dear A .

Thank You so much dear A . Your comment is like a poem in itself and I love the taste of heaven on the fingertips. love. o molly

Orphani

16 years 7 months ago

Spring like lovers plea,

Spring like lovers plea, with the beautiful metaphor of the lily of the valley ,that has a very delicate little cascade of tiny white bell like flowers.A tour de force to the delicate sensitivity of love. Two things about this poem interest me. There is a departure in the tone of the poem with line # 9. "Break my stem" and line #10. "And let my brittle bells". These two lines contrast the delicacy of the setting with a bit of harshness as to the realities of existence.You feel the pain of the release from the earth and the fragility of the bells. To say I am maddly in love with you and that I have packed my bags and am waiting for your address would not be an overstatement.I am selling poems on the corner and as soon as I have air fare. .........o

odd molly

16 years 7 months ago

Thank You so much dear O. I

Thank You so much dear O. I am happy for your sensitive comments about my poem. Nina is my childhood friend. She had to leave for heaven some years ago. I miss her everyday even though I know that she is not far away. She.. my bluebell,my lily is the reason why I began writing. love. o molly

Barbara Writes

16 years 7 months ago

Molly

odd molly

16 years 7 months ago

Thank You so much dear

Thank You so much dear Barbara. I am happy you enjoyed. love. o molly

Roscoe Lane

16 years 7 months ago

Remove.

Try taking out the line,( i smell of lilies of the valley), or just,( of lilies of the valley), i think it has more impact without either. Respect Roscoe.

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Thank You so much Roscoe for

Thank You so much Roscoe for reading my poem Nina. I am thankful for your suggestion and have been thinking of it. The smell of lilies of the valley is to me an important part in the poem so I will keep it as it is. love. o molly

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Molly

Awesome. Fresh. Beautiful. Loved it. Love from Lyz. Xx

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Thank You so very much dear

Thank You so very much dear Lyz for your kind comments. It makes me happy to know that you enjoyed my poem. Love. o molly

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Molly

You are a beautiful talented writer and always I have enjoyed reading and the peacefullness in your poems, no matter the content always shines out. It is a pleasure reading your poems. Thank you. Love all, Lyz Xx

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Pick a posey of bluebells...

Awwww Molly, I love this poem, pluck those chiming bells and ring them for heaven... a subtle alarm call for all the other angels to look down on you. I am sure Nina is the extra bright one shining above tonight... smiling with such intensity at this wonderful write for her. I can hear those wind chimes from far away... a meadow of bliss, a special eden that you have created for all to dream of... yet you take each and evryone of us there with this write. Simply lovely Molly! Dale :)

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Thank You so much Dale.

Thank You so much Dale. Yes.. Nina is looking down and I can feel her smile on us.. and isn't it a lovely thing that she keep showing us how beautiful this mysterious magic we are caught in can be. and as always and always.. I love your comments.. they make warmth and warmth. Love. o molly

Bonitaj

16 years 7 months ago

Awe inspiring write!

Liked the brevity and the metaphors Well done! BOnita j

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Thank You so much Bonita for

Thank You so much Bonita for visiting my page. I am happy you enjoyed my poem. Your comment mean a lot to me. love. o molly

theladyblue

16 years 6 months ago

there are some things...

which bare no need for comment; only a smile...though Roscoe is right, unless it has specific meaning...which I imagine it does...either way it was lovely! <3 Emarie __________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Thank You so much. I loved

Thank You so much. I loved your comments because of its happy feel. I will come and visit your page as soon as I find the time and Iam looking forward to it. your smile is a lovely thing and even Nina could feel it and it made her smile too. love. o molly

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Molly

First off congratulations on spotlight... secondly how the hell did I miss this little Gem ?... however I am here now and I just loved how visual this one was ... well done brava love and hugs Jayne x x

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

You are the most sweet and

You are the most sweet and wonderful dear Jayne to always find the time for reading my poetry. Your comments mean so much to me. Thank you so very much. love. o molly

professor

16 years 6 months ago

Hi Molly

This is indeed a gem of a poem which manages to be sensually evocative with an economy of words and images. For me i felt that the verse below slowed things up slightly too much and lacked the same mellifluous flow of the rest of the poem: and in the wind that nurtured my petals your song is written perhaps it could be and in wind-nurtured petals your song is written just a suggestion of course. with best wishes Keith

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Thank You so much Dear Keith

Thank You so much Dear Keith for visiting my site and for your interest in my poem Nina. I am happy for you pointing out to me that my arrangement of words makes my poem 'stumble' and the flow got missing. I will look at it more carefully. I am happy for you taking your time to suggest another way of writing it. If I should change as you suggest I feel that the whole meaning of the poem would get lost so I will think of another way to change. thank you again. love. o molly

Orphani

16 years 6 months ago

The Professor brings up a

The Professor brings up a strong and interesting point in poetry,Where every word is a car in a train of words. any one word or group of words may be the engine that pulls the train and gives it energy or possibly slows it down as the professor suggests.Every word has a distint meaning, a symbol of a thought or idea. A puzzel piece that is inserted to give a greater meaning to the whole.Some words more important to thhe meaning others less so and may only act as place holders for the meter of the flow.The question here becomes: Does the alteration of the words with brevity to achieve what the Professor suggests overshadow the meanings intent for the writer, to the point of weakening the rest of the poem ,or is it acceptable. To be or not to be every word in verse must pass this test.I bow to the professor for his insightful commentary.His words have weight as does Mollys. Molly consider posting the original Swedish version along with the translated Engish poem to allow those interested to see it's form and do there own translation.At least on one or two posts. ...................o

odd molly

16 years 6 months ago

Every word has a distinct

Every word has a distinct meaning, a symbol of a thought or idea... yes dear O that is so true and also the most beautiful and magical thing about poetry. If you read my poem a bit more carefully you would notice that I am saying the song is written in the wind. If I should change the poem as the dear Professor suggests it would be the song is written in the petals and that is a total different thing. Yes, the Professors words and yours as well has a weight and I am always very interested in other poets opinions and suggestions. Iam very happy that both of you have taken time to read my poetry. When it comes to posting my original Swedish or French versions along with the translation I can not see why it would fit or be to an interest at an english site and to me it would be to no use at all and I also think I would take up a lot of unnecessary space on the site. Thank You so much for your comments and your engagement in my writing. It mean a lot to me. I will come and visit your page as soon as I find more time. I am very busy at my work this time of the year because of exhibitions etc tec. Things will slow down in december. * on a page thoughts as characters an arrangement characters to express small vehicles to expand explore to cross space and time and communicate words no will but they never forget * love. o molly

Orphani

16 years 6 months ago

My prime point was that

My prime point was that altering the meter by making the changes that the Professor suggests does alter the meaning in varying ways and somtimes this may be ok somtimes not.But you know suggesting changes to ones poetry is like suggesting different clothes for our children to wear.A lot of emotion enters in to it. You are correct that the emphasis shifts from wind to the petals but not completely since the petals are nurtured by the wind.And yes and this weakens there conection to wind and song as you say.These are the sub that we always consider as poets. I think you have the better claim here.Words are powerful and they kick ass like no boot can. Love your work and join us when you can.You are such a joy. Barry ......o