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D

The Breezes:

The breeze that kisses the face of the sea
dreams of the breeze in the hills
she cries: "I have too much freedom
I feel lost without your humble rule"

The winding breeze of a city street
bereaves: "I have too much knowledge
as I pass through the minds of so many people
these creatures have no wisdom
all they know is that they long
for that which they do not know
which cannot be found, which
may not exist."


The breeze which merely touches
the veil of his lover the sea
laments that this is as close as he
may ever come to truly knowing her:
"For we are as two opposing forces
our love is a paradox, I am drawn
across the face of the earth
and you the restless depths
we only meet at dawn and then for a moment"


 

— Dalton, Nov 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

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Critiques

Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

I love this poem, its two

I love this poem, its two voices....its two streams... I feel lost without your humble rule” The winding breeze of a city street bereaves: “I have too much knowledge (*that* is unnecessary) as I pass through illusion's minds humans are creatures without wisdom, all they know is that they long for what which cannot be found” ??? the last sentence begs for a moment, found. (or loved) or some other word. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
D

Dalton

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Kailashana

Thanx for the pointers. I had a problem with this poem myself. But still it was written in just a couple of minutes. It was one of the first writes in years. The sentiment is right I suppose, but that doesn't necessarily make a great poem. I'll keep at it and bear your ideas in mind. Thankyou Kailashana. I have now made a slight change to the second stanza, I don't know if it makes it worse or not. Hope to hear your views. Respects Dalton.
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Dalton

I wrote a poem not long ago called Dream in the Wind ... this reminded me of it but yours ? is so much better mine is just about the love story between the two .. yours has the depth of the ocean and the strength of the wind ... awesome write and I agree with Anna's suggestions ... kind regards love Jayne
L

lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Dalton

I liked. You are very good and I enjoyed the read. Well done and there is no breeze or wind here today, just thought I would give you a weather report, lol. Well done. Love Lyz. XX