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Not Fit To Shine Shoes

Not Fit to Shine Shoes By the time she took her chair in the gods, Her singularity had brewed a certain solitude about her person. Someone so chronically untouched That the pixels of her skin were already turning to dust. Once a man noticed her, As she blended like cream in coffee To the backround hustle-and-bustle of the room. She felt his eyes Crack marks into her like a map. And she wondered, What must a man see in feline stature For the hem of his eyes to catch flames, Like a reflection passing over a glass surface. What marvelous intensity this is, of course, The stars slurring As she beats her heart like the humming. But she was nothing but waste And bleating restrictions of measurements. This being to a dead soul decomposing on matted dreams. O to be young again! Beautiful girls, Beautiful girls.....
— Diatom Shells, Nov 03, 2009

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seabhac

seabhac

16 years 7 months ago

Not fit to shine shoes

This really is an awesome poem. I just love it. It has mystery but is profoundly sad. Age conquers all. One line that jarred a little bit was As she beats her heart like a humming of a flies wings. 'a humming'followed by 'a flies wings' is too long I feel ( the humming ) might read better. My favourite lines were By the time she took her chair in the gods, Her singularity had brewed a certain solitude about her person. Someone so chronically untouched The title was wonderful and pulled me right in. A delight, thanks for sharing Seabhac
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 7 months ago

seabac...

this was a little different direction for me. I had trouble with that line and originally I just had 'the humming' part then I added the other piece but I feel the need to change it again back to the original. thanx for the suggestion and I am happy u enjoyed this and the title. I actually did good on a title yipeee! -diatom shells
L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Shells

Another gem, well done. Oh to be young. Love Lyz. XX
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 7 months ago

lyz...

I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. you all are very friendly. -shells