Chainsaw chop

The sound of the chainsawClearing the deadwoodOf my mind Incessant vibrating humPermeating the dark interior With each fallen thoughtAnother slant of light hitsDarkened recesses New light, New life perhaps But for the sawdust of my pastSwept beneath the red carpetOf my brave futureTrampled flat by my present strides forward To prune for the hereafterIs a forgotten finesse

— seabhac, Oct 30, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Liz

One suggestion on Tramped, was it meant to be trampled? Any way, this poem is very deep to me. Like the old saying of clearing out the cobwebs. You have written this with expertise, what more can I say except you always write something worth reading. And I like the stanza, Mmm, all of them, lol. I do. Love from, Lyz. XX

seabhac

16 years 7 months ago

Thanks you Lyz

Interesting question re Tramped or trampled...I feel you may be right , both words actually have the same meaning for this poem but trampled does have the association of the sound of stomping so I think because of that it is the more suitable word. Thanks for the suggestion and kind words. Hugs Seabhac

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dea Seabhac

Brooding write ...I enjoyed the read I liked the tramped to trampled suggestion of Lyz's ... worked a treat love and hugs Jayne

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Seabhac:

Nice poem you got there. Excellent, I can even see the images jumping in my eyes. I also can see the incredible progress you're making as a writer. We all in this progress, and I'm glad to share the journey with so many great people here. Sincerely, Hugo

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

This poem is a raving

This poem is a raving beauty, Lyz!!! But for the sawdust of my past Swept beneath my future's brave, red carpet though I am trampled flat by forward strides... I, finesse forgotten.. pruned hereafter. ??? L & L ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

ngaioBeck

16 years 7 months ago

Chainsaw Chop

This piece really resonates with me. I have read every single one of your offerings, and the attendant comments. Unfortunately I am not intelligent enough or suitably schooled in the esoteric ,(your piece on the wool comes to mind),to fully appreciate the subtlety of many phrasings. I do enjoy them nevertheless.

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

Near Ngaio, I have to

Near Ngaio, I have to comment your comment. Our understandings have nothing to do with intelligence, it's just that we have all gone trough similar but not the same experiences, that we can touch one another in our nuanced hearts, resonating.... proves this. Love and Light, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha