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jabuu
jabuu
Oct 29, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Of Steel and Diamond

The world I see in two shades

Of double edged blades

Of steel and diamond

Cutting deep into my veins

The steel I curse for its ruins

The blood that oozes

Symbolizes the pain I dwell

 In the flowers of my sorrowful bed

 

The diamond I have not tasted

Hard knocks of the steel I bear

But in the end the steel shall rust

The curtains of pains at my door

I hope will be removed

But the scars shall be my relic

Reminding me of the wounds

That made me wail

 

Be it as it may

The sparkles I shall see one day

And forever to stay

Diamonds are forever

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Africa/Ghana/Kumasi, GHA

Favorite Poets: Oswald Mtshali, John Donne, Lord Byron

More from this author

Comments

Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Jabuu

I really liked this one but I thought the use of forever twice in the last two lines lost the strength of your ending ... how about 'diamonds are eternal' ? or something along those lines just a suggestion Still sad but a solid write .. kind regards Jayne x x
jabuu

jabuu

16 years 6 months ago

dear Seren

thanks. i will look at your suggestion and will try to fine-tune that line.
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Your whole poem reminds me

Your whole poem reminds me of *Blood Diamonds*, an incredibly difficult movie to watch. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450259/ I think Jaughter has made a good suggestion. Love and Light, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Z

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

of steel and diamonds

enda, patrick collins. a sad write but there is hope witin the last few lines i agree with jaynes suggestion there good writing here
jabuu

jabuu

16 years 6 months ago

Ziggy

for two people to make the same comments, definitely calls my attention to make the necessary corrections. i will definitely respond to that.
D

DimondDivinity

16 years 3 months ago

pain seems to be forever as

pain seems to be forever as the diamond dose, nice read, beautiful