my eternity man

This is a sombre and poignant piece by you. I am afraid nothing is perfect, everything has crack, be it a large crevice or just a hairline one. I am saddened further during this read that you chose L.Cohen to sit on your right hand side, surely there would have been room for a Mr. Hooded Stranger singing his lovely dark, evil and down right twisted songs. But then I remember, I haven't sent you a CD yet! Seriously, I was pulled into this piece and enjoyed the misery it left me with...in a good way! Was it supposed to be sad? regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

Anna, I don't think it needs any changing, I have corrected a couple of minor errors, but other than that, I'd leave it...except maybe... "he walks me through the tower of a thousand songs" I don't visualise this as a tower. I have these possibilities, but you might have a better one if you wish to change it at all: Myriad Void Mausoleum Pain Sadness Ocean Hope this helps, but don't go and change much of it...it will lose it's edge if you do. The sun is burning high at 10:00 am, the autumn sky, cloudless today, if I don’t turn on the daily news, if I never stop writing this poem, one might think I have died and gone straight to heaven, the light so overwhelming, and the colour blue, eating me through and through And here I am Bukowski sits on the left side of me a cigarette dangling from his mouth in his hand a glass filled with some brand of cheap red wine, still horny as living hell, L. Cohen on my right singing sweet nothings in my ear, he walks me through the myriad of a thousand songs, you know I was never faithful in my mind, and I never know who’s my man, what I take from his perfect offering but I like to hear them say, their breath warm as a sunny day on my willing skin, “there’s a crack, a crack in everything.” regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

Spiral is excellent, that gives it a much better image than a cold concrete Tower. HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

A surprinsingly great poem. The ending is enigmatic but really playful, as you always are. Really an excellent poem, and the freeform magnifies it. An absolute beauty! Sincerely, Hugo

Just me hating to scroll, lol. A wonderful write that put a smile on my face. I enjoyed this very much. Love to you and whichever? lol. Lyz. XX

I am trying to visualise a hard drinking, hard loving guru. Too much for me. Love this and your choice in men, though I am not fond of them at the moment, I think I would like you at my left and Proprietress of Crimson Hearts at my right. [grins] Aeron

Hope you got my email ... sorry to be late getting here ... this is pure heaven for you ... lucky woman to be able to even visualise it ... wonderful as always ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x x

Will say that you and nature are one,you cannot be separated.Forever let it be your inspiration and your tutor.Have always love to read your work. creative friend, Sinnbadd

right into the centre of the game, like an American baseball! :) Fabulous - especially the last line! Bonita j

This is cracking good my dear sister Anna Some nice odd things are specially so, like "the colour blue, eating me through and through", a book sipping wine and nothings in your ear all adding up to an absurd sensation of relaxing that I like. Love Ann.