Ball of Twine

Dear Diatom is this the story of the birth of Christ of which you speak, it seems to be. is she the virgin mother with an angel her nurse and minister in the process. As always a charming read. An effortless read, touched by the beauty of the words, so that you have to go back just to be sure you haven't missed anything. Was it an effortless write aswell as sometimes these things are, when the darkness of the unconscious is tapped. Just Delightful. Dalton.

you have written in beauty Shells. This is a wonderful poem. Thank you. Love to you and yours. Lyz. XX

Dear Shells, I believe this is just ... what I would love to say ... would be blasphemy on this page ... so I will leave my stars, my awe and respect .. love Jayne x x

IF IT IS THE NATIVITY YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, THEN IT IS A GOOD NARRATIVE OF IT IN A UNIQUELY WRITTEN POEM. LOVE. jABUU

Interesting title. I am curious how your thought process worked through from title to subject. A provocative write. Seabhac

Every time I read it... I have little shivers up my spine. Love and Light, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha

I remember when I got sick and I would see or feel spiritual things that I would meet interesting people on the road or get rides and I was never certian the intensity of these meetings if there was a spiritual meaning in it all or was because of my bi-polar or maybe it was just a human need to exchange the concerns and worries from one shoulder to another like Simon carrying Jesus's cross there are always those who are unafraid or take the extra linear movement to assist I just feel there is power there and in darkness I have been on the road for awhile and seen the light felt the dark this is a great poem I wear a cross because I believe in God know of Jesus's teachings if I was born elsewhere in the world I would believe in something else I like your poem about the wings in trying to carry him to safety in your poem Nurturing lines Thank You

Really like how you have written this, it has both pathos and enchantment. There are possibly a couple of things you might consider changing in my opinion. Maybe alter the first line of the second verse a little to increase emphasis: "I knew already what would happen to him" There are many "I"s in the second verse and possibly you could lose one of them by just saying "Took him in my arms". Finally, may be it could be "But the virgin...." rather than have another line starting with "And..". Indeed, it seems that the Virgin putting a hand on her stomach" is her reaction to your wanting to carry away the baby and so it really should be "But". with best wishes Keith

I think that 'and' is better, more inclusive, connecting the angel and the child in a much more intense and intimate way. Try removing the 'and' from the second line... "and whispered" "whispering" I really enjoyed this. So many times 'spiritual' poetry devolves into self-righteousness, sentimentality or dogma, traps that you very skillfully avoid. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

It is just one Wow after another with you, is't it. Makes a poor linear boy flaccid just trying to keep up. Congradulations on the quick recognition you are getting of a very deep talent. It is really so wonderful to see. Oh, I'll get by. Thank you for your concern. Continuing encouragement to you, Brian

what I like about this piece, is even someone with my dark and sinister mind can relate to this in a perverse way. This could so easily be the birth of evil...although I am sure that wasn't your intention, but if you read it with the lights off...it could be so. Love this last line: “He is kicking again….” Great write. HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

I agree poetry is personal and as long as the reader connects with it at some level, then to be honest, the writers job is done. I often write my poetry/songs in our dining room with just one candle illuminating my paper...you should try it...unless you're writing about scary things, in which case I always have the lights on LOL!! baby!...LOL! HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".