An honest word

Is it so wrong to miss you?
Is it so awful to want to see you? talk to you? explain?
Even in writing this confession, I take care to form each letter perfectly for your approval,
Searching for the right words to melt your stone cold heart.

Through all we shared, the closeness we once felt...
Secrets at midnight. A whispered fancy.
A guilt-drenched confession, eery under the moon's gaze.

First times shared in timeless moments.
Your first love, my first truth.
Or so I thought.
I welcomed your honesty, your desperate grasp at some form of peace,
Achieved only in our moment of rawness, one-ness.
You poured out fears, regrets,desires,
I showed you mine. You disappeared.

Then out of nowhere, you beckoned me to your bosom,
You loved me twice, promised twice, vanished twice.
Worried about me? I wish.
Glad to have me home? You own idea destroyed you.

Lied to me. Hid from me. Went behind my back.
All the more fool.
You or me?

I discovered your secret you see,Love.
You do not know an honest word.
You do not know a heart-felt promise.
You do not know how my heart shattered a third time when I discovered your lie.

Remember my expression when my heart broke in the kitchen?
The icy paleness? The painful heartbeat? The shaking hands?
Recall your little secret shared at midnight?

I was not the first one you just stood back and watched...