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Calliope
Oct 24, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fated Truth

What is it,That attracts the eye?Is it beauty?......But that’s by and by.Is it the soul,That beckons you?Like minds enthrall,But what is true?Can it beThe color of one’s eye,Or what’s beneathWhere truth does lie?Can it beThe shape one sees,Or does it fathomWhat’s beneath?Can such contraryViews be shared,Or is it by fateTwo people are paired?What is itThat makes me love you?It just is….It’s simply true.

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Region, Country: New York, USA

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Ailill

16 years 6 months ago

Good verse

Reading this out loud to myself, I like this.. It has a certain charm and ring to it.. Good theme.. Interesting title too.. Plus I like how you provoke questioning in the mind of the reader, taking them on a journey into the mysteries of essence, existence, spirit, and form, and then answering with the simplicity of truth.. If you are looking for critiques on this.. to some readers 'eye' and 'true' might start sounding a little repetitive.. But I don't know how you would get around this since the poem seems to revolve around these words.. Anyway, its good as is..
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Calliope

16 years 6 months ago

Thank you

Yes this questioning is a bit of a theme in a lot of my poetry,for arent we all a questioning race,lol,yes i have looked this over and the repetition im afraid cannot be helped without detracting from the poem ,but thanks for the insight. And Thanks again for reading, Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Lacy

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sorry I am so excited to see you posting lol ... and with this beautiful poem ....I only have one suggestion ... the last line ... I dont know that it needs that 'its' ... simply true has more punch for me ... but thats just my opinion I thought this was wonderful and now missy get to work and look at lots of beautiful art and be inspired if this is a first taste lol you got me craving for more ;) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x
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Calliope

16 years 6 months ago

Lol Thanks Jayne

Im glad you like it.i have been out of the game too long and felt i lost my touch,lol,so it means a lot you think its good,I will try to write some more now although these things cant be forced as you may well know,lol but it feels good to have written something again,that alone will help and your support and eagerness to read my poetry is also an inspiration... Love and Hugs, Lacy Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Seren

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Heya hun I was wandering

Heya hun I was wandering round and came for another read and read Anna's comment ... I really like her idea for 'I simply Do' that sounds so poignant ... I love that idea ... ok sticking my nose out again and back to bed LOL love and big hugs Jayne x x
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

There’s a whole new world

There's a whole new world to explore, Lacy. Being in love is the ultimate high that allows the poet to see things s/he may never have noticed before. paint exquisite word-pictures. I agree with Jayne... the *its* impedes the delicate flow....perhaps: "What is it That makes me love you? I simply do." My best to you. ~Anna There are no strangers in Paradise.
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Calliope

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Anna

yes it is a wonderful thing,love,it is a world unto itself with only two inhabitants,lol,at least thats how it feels sometimes,the world can be burning down around you and you wouldnt even flinch,going down in flames with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye,lol Thanks for the suggestion ,both of you,i will mull it over and see what i think, Thanks again Lacy Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
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orgami

16 years 6 months ago

answer to quest

applys to lifes apps I ask this question and as I change and grow so too does the enrichment of experience to my ponder (I have grown out of a lot of systems and grown into a lot of them too) I love this poem I can stop at the bottom and agree and yet be drawn back to the beginning for me it was many or all in the beginning and yet know its so much more looks character values traditions some kind of integrity stability goal dreams experience age taste common bond common respect the more I get aclimatized to self esteem and self worth the more recognition is reflected the more choice I have in discerning possible future contact freind association chat on the street or possibly more like math its variables that makes life interesting and interesting is what Einstien thought was important also Your poem on this issue is refreshing to me and I like the punctuations and spacing thank you
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Reading your poem again, I

Reading your poem again, I have another suggestion: Or is it by fate that one is shared? ( a take on two) or that two are paired (more in line with your original version) people is a given, and somehow removes some of that romance. Hugs, Anna There are no strangers in Paradise.
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lyz

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Lacy

Bravo, yes this is proof you have not lost your touch and thank you for bringing this beautiful poem to us. Enjoyed your return write immensely. Love Lyz. XX