memories kept silent

i

The old man in the moon
slow dances with
the barefoot brown-eyed girl
in a red velvet dress.

Shhh...

Don't wake up the sun,
the light of dawn.

Don't make promises
you'll never keep.

ii

now the girl
in the threadbare red velvet dress
has grown old in the sun
remembers not the dance

naked
in Elyssian fields like
lilies of the field

passionate moonlight kisses
grow cold in Winter light,
songs of daybreak. like
a waltz on thin ice.

— Kailashana, Oct 25, 2009

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Critiques

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Ma

My god the brown haired girl and the man in the moon have bewitched me you write with a sad poignancy that wrings the heart ... again I am in awe of your pen love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x

Lonnie

16 years 7 months ago

Ahhh! The Language of an Artist!

A truly mesmerizing, and magnificently crafted work! Leaves one longing to dance with the lady of the piece! Bravo!

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Kailashana

What a beautiful silent memory, loved the imagery of this dance. Lyz. XX

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

in the threadbare red velvet dress

now the girl  in the threadbare red velvet dress....with a threadbare..?  has grown old in the sun  remembers not the dance naked  in Elyssian fields like.............meadows..or..glades so as not to repeat fields? ilies of the field passionate moonlight kisses  grow cold in Winter light,  songs of daybreak. like,  a waltz on thin ice................the last waltz on thin ice...slow dance on thin ice...? Not the latter as its the same as over, I only just saw that. Something is not quite arranged as i would like it to be Anna, the whole idea and thoughts in it are very good but. well that's what I feel ! Love your sister Ann

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

hehehehe, my sister from

Hehehehe, my sister from Norway.... It's supposed to be *disjointed*.... like a fading picture in a broken frame, like the ice slowly cracking... Love, Anna p.s. Thanks to all for reading my slightly discombobulated, fragmented poem. mwah p.p.s. I forgot what I was going to say. lol. "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha