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Seren
Seren
Oct 22, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Skipping Rocks to Destiny

A silken tongue
lapped the ethereal,
running palms to
part a sheen of need
shuddering in waves,
pushing aside restraint
hung to disarray,
falling into realms
undiscovered

A new dawn smiled
and tri-coloured eyes
meet

Sprinkled in the moment,
an unsheathing begun,
speared in lust.
and glazed 
into the only one

I fade to nirvana
in the knowing
when sated passions
bent at the corner
of your mouth
it was then
I knew

Destiny,
had warped time,
finding me again

— Seren, Oct 22, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

S

SeekerAfterTruth

16 years 7 months ago

You might find this familiar...

You might find this absolutely familiar. *takes a deep breath* It's 12.51am, an ungodly hour. My brain is dead from the philosophy exam. I don't quite get the last verse, but it's very likely because I'm just...really tired, and I've never been too strong with poetry. I like the way that while it's obvious enough what is going on in the poem, it isn't glaringly, *smack you in the face* kind of obvious. And what I really, really like about such poems is the subtle hinting. I mean, it is fairly obvious, but the nice use of euphemism (if I'm not abusing a word)...is really great. And it's really, really sweet that the poetic voice finds that sort of "it's meant to be" moment, and I suppose, a moment when the poetic voice thinks she's found the One...again. And the "finding me again" bit is just...wow. (Sorry. Incoherent. Godforsaken hours.) Sincerely, -Seek
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Seeker

Your have nailed this poem in your comment .. and that last verse is meant to mean I found the same one again ;) lol ... thanks so much for your comment I am still shocked anyone liked this one ... you take care and Ill be round reading and commenting tonight ... hope you have been writing lol ... kind regards love Jayne x x x
L

Lonnie

16 years 7 months ago

I'm carried away by the magic of this!

Good Lord, what a poem! Not only is the imagery and language superbly blended, but the way the theme is portrayed leaves one simply overwhelmed! Young Lady, you are a force to be reckoned with here on Neo!
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Lonnie

Coming from you that means the world I think you were one of the first people to comment on my poetry ... I am just speachless with a big smile on my face, thank you is all I can think of love to you both Jayne x x x
Q

Quillsvein1

16 years 7 months ago

incredible

stanza in this pleasantly "mists of avalon" type poem you have here: "I fade to nirvana/in the knowing/when sated passions/bent at the corner/of your mouth/it was then/I knew/Destiny had warped time/finding me again.."
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear GB

Glad you liked this one *Smile* ... you know I thought this one wasn't that good I am never sure till you good people read them ... thanks for the support and comment I will be round reading later tonight and see what you have been up to .. love and hugs Jayne x x
I

Idlemindwondering

16 years 7 months ago

I am a lover of fantasy and

I am a lover of fantasy and other realm stories and this I have danced and enjoyed each image I would love to see some of you longer works. ken
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Ken

There are a few longer ones if you go through my list,I am a newish writer and still playing with formats and learning the craft ... I have had so much helps since I been here and I really enjoy writing its not work its play and relaxation for me thank you so much for the comment and the stars ... I am smiling here I didnt think it was that good ... But your welcome to go through my posts anytime :) Happy dancing my way out LOL ;) love and hugs Jayne x x OMG I just looked out the window its Hailing here they are huge gotta go storms coming :O
L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Such a serene write Seren

Beautiful, and to be revisited, ooh. Say it slow when reading, quite dreamy. Good one girl. Love Lyz. XX
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Lyz

You have made my night I just read yours its wonderful my girl what can I say ,.. you rock ? lol ;) but thank you I thought the ladies didnt like this one love and hugs jayne x x x
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 7 months ago

This lady loves it...

You know I love it when you allow yourself to play and Jayne this is just beautiful, a different side to you, more free somehow. I still sense your fear and lack of confidence in it but it is coming on so well. I loved the air of mystery, words that could have variable meaning depending on the reader. This ultimately means the poem is more accessible to a wider audience. One minor question an unsheathing begun, it could be begun ... but I think it sounds like it should be 'began' Tricolour eyes? yours? The word that comes to mind to describe this poem is luscious! Seabhac
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Awwwww I cant wait for you

Awwwww I cant wait for you to read my new one LOL ... I went out on the limb and I stood on tiptoe with that one I took some risks ... and yeah its fun making a fool of yourself sometimes and then when they come together thats a bonus LOL thanks so much for the read and the comment .. was talking to the professor today and he said you had found him hes good eh ? you should read his partner calliope shes brilliant as well ... love and big hugs Jayne x x