Seren

Oct 21, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Silhouette of Sleep(Edit)

In silhouettes hold
I quietly sleep,
with nothing to bother
in darkness I'll keep

A Feeling of nothing
pervades all around,
how do you put ear?
with a void to ground

A suspended belief
is drifting away,
reality in darkness
has its own bouquet

Obsidian the depths
I am forced to take,
diving into darkness
the devils own lake

Dancing with Demons
tapped into my spine,
if you look in the night
they ride the moonshine

Fixated to light
I move to the edge,
to not look back
my last dream pledge

Moving through droplets
of the purest peace,
in the bright of the zen
I find comforts release

And letting fates will
take over and reign,
I dream in the twilight
of shadows profane

— Seren, Oct 21, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

As long as you write poems,

As long as you write poems, dhaghter, we're all winners. Fate? There is no fate except this moment *we* make. bushels of love ~MA There are no strangers in Paradise.

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

I dont know that I can stop ... its like a curse and blessing in one ...but I lean to blessings ;) and fate is made by'we'all making our own ... in our own fibrils of time love and biggest hugs dhaghter ? you going to have to explain that one to me ... (huggles) Btw Snake said to tell you and i forgot how much he loved your last one I commented on, throwing down the gauntlet or what LOL !!

Rob Graber

16 years 7 months ago

Great Images!

I like especially the "bouquet" of darkness, and the "profane" twilight shadows!

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Thanks Rob !! this one came

Thanks Rob !! this one came from nowhere and well I had three finished had to flip a coin tonight this was the winner ... thanks for the read and the comment much appreciated kind regards love Jayne x x x

Proprietress o…

16 years 7 months ago

of shadows profane...

this is an enchanting write and I'm so glad it won! I adore the title you chose and this is so unique in its use of language! just a few suggestions to smoothe out the flow, if I may, madame :) diving in darkness - diving into darkness tapping into my spine - tapped into my spine and could you explain the question mark? I have a major cold and just can't seem to wrap my mind around that one line. sniffle-cough greetings, your Proprietress

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Kata

This is the best surprise I have had in a while ... seeing you !!... I am so glad you liked this one ... I flipped the coin and wasnt sure which one to put on .. God your not going to believe this but those lines you suggested change , thats how they were to start with and I changed them lol And the question mark ? ... you know that saying putting your ear to the ground to hear ... it was just a little play on words alluding to that saying ...thanks for the visit I have missed you, and I know I am not the only one who has (huggles) I hope your feeling better soon huni sending you lots of healing love Jayne x x x

Proprietress o…

16 years 7 months ago

oh, I know how that can be sometimes!

we write a poem on instinct and then read it and think well there's got to be something I can improve... then we roll a few words around, change a few lines while losing track of that which our instincts had felt was right I love it the way it is now(back in its original skin, so it seems ;) I will have to add another comment at the bottom of the page because I want to give you those stars! your Proprietress

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest One

I think that you must exist inside a bubble, where beauty surrounds you. For whatever you write, there is beauty and perfection. My favorite lines are: Moving through droplets of the purest peace, in the bright of the zen I find comforts release And letting fates will take over and reign, I dream in the twilight of shadows profane Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Big Sis

If theres a bubble its one of love ... not feeling loved all my life and thats the truth I did .. I now think my cup runneth over ... but hey I am not complaining ... (huggles) you know how much I love it when you like my poems gives me that warm fuzzy feeling and I am smiling like a cat Love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x

Lonnie

16 years 7 months ago

Insatiably Irresistable!

Wow! An often under-rated expression, but aptly fitting for this piece! Immaculate use of imagery and Poetically-Glorious language use! This one really blew me away!

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Lonnie

You are my second surprise of the morning !! So good to see your face round the site again ... I love your poetry and you liking one of mine is an honour ... thanks for the comment it is very much appreciated ... and please send my love to chrys ... Love and hugs Jayne x x x

Pseudonym

16 years 7 months ago

Jayne :)

Another amazing poem.. you just dont stop taking my breath away.. i just love: "Dancing with Demons tapping into my spine, if you look in the night they ride the moonshine" its beautiful.. really love it.. hugs and take care :) Liz ("<>") heehee just had to do that..

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Miss Sunshine

LOL sorry couldnt help myself ... but your like a little ray of sunshine ... hope noones hubby is called Ray :S of the other Liz's LOL :| I had to flip a coin last night I was in such a dither wasnt sure which one to put on and this was the winner ... I actually think the other ones better ... well find out tonight ... I never know .. thanks for the comment and the support it is very much appreciated love and higgest bugs Jayne You've been love bugged :P

Pseudonym

16 years 7 months ago

Jayne :)

lol whoooa thats a first.. ive never been called sunshine lol less a ray of sunshine.. haha have to write that down in my journal.. lmao.. hahaha that would be sooo funny.. i would be in bed for days from all the laughing tummy cramps.. when you say flip a coin.. it reminds me of a local band here in SA called flip-a-coin lmao their song "jasmyn" heehee.. well if the other poem is better then the coin was a smart little bugger.. saving the best for last but we will see ;).. only a pleasure to comment.. lmao my email inbox was full of messenges from the site.. haha i almost choked.. lol hugs and take care :) haha yay a love bug.. lucky me ;D

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

ok right flip a coin comes

ok right flip a coin comes from an old game called two-up(illegal here except on anzac day LOL) there are three coins on the little board they use to throw them up, and people bet on how the coins will fall lol and flip a coin I have heard of a song called that , never a band .. I am a singing teacher lol but more performer I am not working till I am better though the vocal cords are getting rusty ... PMSL I dont want to know how many emails you had I been busy today sooo a lot of them would be me probably yikes ... Love and hugs Miss naughty ;) Jayne x x btw ANZAC if you dont know means ... Australian New Zealand Army Corps ... and we have a national day every yr to honour our fallen soldiers from all wars 25th April...

Pseudonym

16 years 7 months ago

Jayne :)

ok number one.. i didnt know games can be illegal except on a certain day.. :S.. number two.. sounds like gambling lmao.. and very interesting to watch :S.. numer three.. heehee.. i guess you wouldve have heard of the band because they are proudly south african and afrikaans all the way.. :D.. so.. let me get this right.. you play piano, you write beautifully, you work for the site and and you are a singing teacher/performer who used to be a nipper thingy?? wow your busy :O.. dont you ever drown in it all?? good idea to wait until you get better but cant you sing for yourself now and then?? lmao screw the emails haha means im wanted here ;D.. hehehe huuugs and lovies from me.. P.S. like miss naughty lmao ;) wow now i also know that.. never knew there was also a national day for that in april.. hmm

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Two-up is gambling LOL and

Two-up is gambling LOL and its the sort of game you can play anywhere hence being illegal it was too hard for the authorities to police so they banned it pissed off every digger in australia LOL its a game that was played by australian soldiers but I would have to look it up to remember where it orginated LOL its 2am I am nearly ready for bed its been a huggeeeeeeeeeeeeee day LOL I play Piano,Sing,Ride-horses moterbikes ive driven an 18 wheeler and yeah I help round the site I dont work for them I volunteer LOL and nippers was a hundred and fifty yrs ago when I was 12 lol and lifesavers?not since I had my four kids LOL yep and I have three dogs and at the moment about 7 cats and one diamond python snake ... LMAO ... yes I live in chaos and love every minute of it .. btw I am 40 if your wondering and thats just a little bit of my life LMAO !! love and hugs Jayne Going to bed I am bushed

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Flip a few coins this way

So I can write a beauty like this. When did u sleep? After last night where did you find the time. This is an elegant write, a tasteful piece indeed. Loved it dear heart and soul, From me, Lyz. Love to you and yours, Lyz, XX.

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Nana

I have a special coin I flip for those times ... its a 1980 mexican coin inscribed on it is this "Una Onza Troy de Plata Pura' and down the bottom it has an inscription ... Peso 33.625 gramos ... and on the other side it says 'Casa De moneda de mexico' ...dont ask me why but its always steered me the right way ... when I was growing up my Dad was always in Rotary, every year for a few years we got the pleasure of having someone from somewhere round the world live with us for a few months and one time it was a year LOL I have had it since I was 12 ... The student that gave it to me as a gift I still remember her name to this day Adrianna Marina Luna Guerrua ... I am not sure of the last two names spelling though, it has been nearly thirty years LOL I got 3 hours sleep last night and I count that as a plus the two nights before ... well I may as well have not gone to bed LOL ... glad you liked this one darlin it came from nowhere .. I have 14 poems at the finish line I just hope I am here long enough to put them all on .. it looks like the second week in november I will be gone I got a phone call this morning so I will be down there from then till ... whenever they decide I can come home I guess ... big love and hugs Aunty Jayne Sorry for my escapades last night,wasnt my fault the other Liz made me do it lmao !! he he he

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Do not Edit again

It is perfect, leave it alone, I will get ya. Between you and I last night, I think we were of with the fairies, lol. I like the sound of your lucky coin, and it is nice to be able to remember the girls name, cool. November, okay. What is your Docs name? Gaynor is under Seldon, I think thats his name. Anyway you have written a true of heart beauty here and I enjoyed the reread. I will catch u on your next. Love and chat later. Love Lyz. Xx

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

I am under guy with a name

I am under guy with a name ----------------------------- that long, that I cannot spell, I call him docter, he always looks at me funny but I simply cannot pronounce his name,hes from middle east I think ... only consults in newcastle a few times a month they are doing it there cause it was closer than sydney and I kicked up a bit of a stink .... I was just chatting with your daughter on my front verandah its getting cluody so I went and sat out the front with them it was nice and I am still trailing round the house in my jammies today I am being a slack ass LOL ... you should see what BJ brought her this afternoon shes geting spoiled and is positively glowing ;) I will let her tell you what he brought her ... its beautiful I asked him where mine was he brought it from Prouds ... :P love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Hello Dear Hugo

Why did you put up a stink? I know you will be treated well this end and they have some okay Drs. so I know all will be well. Least i will get to see you. Anyway, it is better weather today and I am glad u got to see the kids. Getting spoilt hey, I know she wanted a necklace but she will tell me. So wheres mine as well, I love Jewellery, lol. I am going to start tea while Kel walks the dog, try and finish this stupid poem, I am a bit deterred though, where the hell is hell or where do people think it is, lol, stupid question but I need to know now, my thoughts have all blown away. Help, Lol. Lol. Love Lyz. XX

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

They wanted me to go to

They wanted me to go to Sydney and I said newcastle or bust lol I didnt want to be so far from home yanno :( and this way if I am up for it at weekends I can come home for the first three weeks but Sydney would ahve made that much harder its not the docters I was sent to sydney from the start but they made allowances for me situation ... Hell wow your asking a big question ... there are many types of hell... living hell,deaths hell what context is it being used it huni ? and I will see what myth or crap I have floating round my head LOL and yup Jewelry and its beautiful LOL I want one from Snake !!!! love and hugs Jayne x x x

R.M.Shanmugam

16 years 7 months ago

sweet to read, least said.

sweet to read, least said. shan

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Thank you so much Shan I

Thank you so much Shan I appreciate it kind regards love Jayne

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Lyz:

How could I've missed reading this beauty of a poem? I like it very much. It talks about your interior life, as if some deep seated convictions were being a bit playful in your subconscious. Normally you don't write that kind of poetry, and that's why I like it. Well done, a great poem indeed! Sincerely, Hugo

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

LOL Hugo its Jayne huni

LOL Hugo its Jayne huni ...not lyz, but I am glad you liked it ... hey I have done the same thing dont feel bad, I had a giggle so will she LOL Love and hugs Jayne x x x

Proprietress o…

16 years 7 months ago

obsidian...

for its emotion, for its playfulness, for its melody, for its charm and because you used one of my all-time favorite words! your Proprietress

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Proprietress

So nice to have you back around,your such a delight and always make me smile ... its one of my favourite words too, and thank you for taking the time to come back (hugs) love and hugs Jayne x x