My sister.

I pretend it didnt happen, I even hide the tears, I try and fight my feelings, But I cant control my fears. Everytime I close my eyes, I pretend you are still here. I think about those memories, Then remember you are not here. Your face is just a picture, Your eyes are full of pain. Your body completely motionless, You had to slip away. I was not there to see you, Or to hold your hand. I will always blame myself for this, Not being by your side.

— alanna_91, Oct 20, 2009

About This Poem

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Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

hello

I like the poem, but I feel it could have been better structured. Something like this: I pretend it (didn't) happen, I even hide the tears, I try and fight my feelings, But I cant control my fears. (Every time) I close my eyes, I pretend you are still here. I think about those memories, Then remember you are not here. Your face is just a picture, Your eyes are full of pain. Your body completely motionless, You had to slip away. I was not there to see you, Or to hold your hand. I will always blame myself for this, Not being by your side. In the () are the corrected misspelled words. I hope I have helped. I hope this is not a true story, if it is you have my condolences. Always, Cat

alanna_91

16 years 7 months ago

hey

thanks for the comment it was a true story about my big sister all of my work is true stories (well most of it) i must take a look at some of your work Love, Alanna x

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Sad and yet so beautiful

Your heart I feel is as caring and as beautiful as this tribute to your sister. Well done, love Lyz. Xx

Millage

16 years 5 months ago

Well hun

I have just come across this one and I think it is wonderful. Heartbreaking. Much love Millage x