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The Black Unicorn

The Black Unicorn I set out to see the outside world,A boy’s adventure tale to be unfurled,but through my ignorance and naivety,I am oblivious to a pickpocket’s thievery,leaving me with an empty purse,and a penniless plea to rehearse,with no home I meander alone,lost in the vastness of the unknown,a weary and lonely soul travelling on,until the daylight fades and then is gone,but the mountains do come to my aid,offering shade for a body so cold and afraid,breathing through gritted and bared teeth,I push myself towards the alcoves beneath,finally I enter the ancient earthen caves,that once sheltered heroes, slaves, fools and braves,but the moon, a huge white capitulated eye,in full bloom against the night’s sky,shines down on a vision of unheralded beauty,I sink to my knees in the name of duty,within this cavern is a horse with a single horn,A free spirited unbound prancing unicorn,A symbolic virtuous mythological beast,my sight overfed by this delineatious feast,yet behind the monoceros stands a black clad woman,armed with witchcraft; wonders she can summon,so with a daintily dance she casts a spell upon me,starglitter creates warm sparkles around my body,which then picks me up from my knees,its passion and heat melting the cold freeze,waving goodbye to my troubles and despair,making me feel like I’m a millionaire,this woman adorned with a slopping and pointed hat,links my arm founding a new trio and sabat,fresh friendship and love is found and born,bound together in the light of the dawn,so now I thank you for making my little fantasy,of you, the unicorn and me become reality…
— Worldwide Freeride, Oct 15, 2009

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Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Love It!

The title picked me up and pulled me in for a thrilling ride through the star-strewn sky. The theme is one of my favorites, anything to do with the magical, will get me every time. Your language usage is very creative, although I had to look up a few words. I am one of those weird types who loves to learn new words, lol. Your imagery is very colourful and paints pictures for the reader. These are my favorite lines: so with a daintily dance she casts a spell upon me, starglitter creates warm sparkles around my body, which then picks me up from my knees, its passion and heat melting the cold freeze, waving goodbye to my troubles and despair, making me feel like I’m a millionaire, this woman adorned with a slopping and pointed hat, links my arm founding a new trio and sabat, fresh friendship and love is found and born, bound together in the light of the dawn, so now I thank you for making my little fantasy, of you, the unicorn and me become reality… Beautifully done. Always, Cat
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

:) :) :) :) :) :)

Cat you really have put a million grins on my chops with your comments... so very glad you liked this one! Also glad you liked the ending as some have said that is the weakest part of this one! Hurrah I get the thumbs up for it! Yay! Thanks superstar! Dale :)
L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Much enjoyed

this fantasy write. I watched as you walked into the cavern. lol. Awesome. Lyz. XX
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Heya Lyz

Lol does your pristine argent unicorn want to play with my playful onyx one? Glad you liked this one Lyz, has extra meaning coming from the unicorn lady herself! Thanks you! Dale :)
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 7 months ago

Yay for Unicorns

Beyond the hockey and stuff, I happen to love unicorns. This was simply enchanting and beautiful, and I love the way you inserted the witchy woman into it. Spellbinding and beautiful. Took me to a far away land where black unicorns are as elegant as the night time sky like an ebony drapery of mane and eloquence. I got goosebumps reading this. Simply lovely, Dale. Peace n love Katie
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Whoa it is the Katie!

Katie thanks very much for visiting this one... and I am really pleased you liked it! Not quite up to the brilliance of your own stuff but hey i am glad you got a bit of the ol' horripilation from this, must of been that spell she cast lol... just think of fleetwood mac's Black Magic Woman! Maybe if this unicorn grows its horn long enough it'd be able to play hockey with you and use its pointy horn as a stick! he he! Thanks for stopping on by Katie.. :) Dale :)
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Grinning like a cheshire cat...

Thanks Cat all down to likes of people like you! Gee wiz a feel like a poet or even a writer now lol! So when does the cat done the cape, and outfit with the elaborate italic "C" printed on the chest? Thanks SuperCat! Dale :)
OM

odd molly

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Dale.Congratulations

Dearest Dale. Congratulations and Congratulations ! I was so happy to see your poem being spotlighted. I ve read it so many times and I love it and your way with words. Write that adventure book.. please.. Love. o molly
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

O Molly! :)

Well I have you to thank for the spotlight really as you brought me here and probably nominated me for it! :) Always happy to get a message from you, and have to say I'll only write that adventure book if you help me write it! What says you Molly? Big hugs, Dale :)
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Hello Greeneyes!

Hi Greeneyes, Thanks for dropping by and for your great comments! Love the elfin picture too... did you draw that? Look really good! Dale :)
greeneyes

greeneyes

16 years 7 months ago

lol

What do you mean, did "I draw this?" This is my real picture! this is what I look like!LOL Greeneyes
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Well neh-neh-neh-de-neh lol!

Well I am ssssssssoooooooooo sorry Greeneyes, it is not everyday a gorgeous grig comes popping up on yer page, raising her sleek eyebrows and twitching pointed ears at you in praise... Not all of us has such perfect pristine faces ya know???!!! He he! Thanks Greeneyes... you're a star! Dale :)
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 7 months ago

OMG congrats on spotlight

OMG congrats on spotlight Dale! Well deserved! Peace n love Katie
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Can't believe myself... go on pinch me lol!

Hey Katie, I am dreaming? Really? lol Go on pinch me! I got a huge big bulbous head thanks to all this praise, I can't get myself out the room now even if I tilt my head sideways, I have to jump out of room's window and parachute to the floor now he he... pity I am top heavy and I land head first, cracked a few paving slabs the last time lol! Cheers Katie, much appreciated... you're a star! Dale :)
Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Worldwide,Wonderful

Dear Worldwide, Wonderful poem ... I love fantasy poems and this is just beautiful,A stunning write, congratulations on spotlight Kind regards Jayne :)
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Hi Jayne,

Hello! Glad you liked this one and thanks for the comments, can't quite believe I got a spotlight for this lol! Dale :)
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

So much enjoyed this

So much enjoyed this delightful, clever romp into your *worldwide freeride* mind, Reality is a capital idea when joy is shared. ~A There are no strangers in Paradise.
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Hi!

Hiya Kailashana! Glad I could take you on a worldwide mindscape tour and your weren't disapponted by the bumpy 4x4 ride around the mountain side lol! Thanks for your great comments, love the clockwork dandilion pic you have there too! Thanks! Worldwide Freeride! Dale :)
G

Gabrielle

16 years 7 months ago

I really liked this

Quite an enjoyable read! "but the moon, a huge white capitulated eye, in full bloom against the night’s sky, shines down on a vision of unheralded beauty, I sink to my knees in the name of duty, within this cavern is a horse with a single horn, A free spirited unbound prancing unicorn, A symbolic virtuous mythological beast, my sight overfed by this delineatious feast," Loved it. Keep writing!
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Heya Gabrielle!

Stop hiding behind that parasol and say boo! So glad you enjoyed this write, I'll let you look after the special horse anytime you want, I think it likes you! Thanks for your great comments and nomination, not met you before so I'll have to go and see what great written words await me on your page! Nice to meet you and thanks again! Dale :)
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 7 months ago

Fantastic to see you in spotlight

Fantastic to see you in spotlight on a late night raid to Neo, I popped in & here you are, with an epic whats more... Cheers to you my good friend, good job, I shall be back to read again when less blurry eyed & comment more intelligently xx Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Fantastic to see you here to...

And the amazing Anni turns up to say Hi with great comments, so nice of you to stop by when you're obviously tired! Hope you have a great night's kip and feel a little more refreshed in the morning! Hope you're also having/had a ball of a vacation too! Thanks for all your encouragement and words Anni, very much appreciated! Dale :)
jabuu

jabuu

16 years 7 months ago

good work

you have explored all that there is to poetry in this work of yours. this is so far my very best i have read here on this site.
jabuu

jabuu

16 years 7 months ago

good work

you have explored all that there is to poetry in this work of yours. this is so far my very best i have read here on this site.
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Hi Jabuu!

Hello there Jabuu! Thanks for your comments here, glad you like this one and think it is worthy of such praise... I have not encountered you before so I'll have to over and visit your pages soon! Thanks! Dale :)
autumnphoenix

autumnphoenix

16 years 7 months ago

Hello

I love unicorns, collected them for years. Your title caught my interest. I was taken on a wonderful visual treat. I loved everything from the pickpocket to the end. Wonderful adventure with every element you included. congratulations on spotlight. Blessings Dana
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 7 months ago

Hi AP!

Hello there Dana, Thanks for the comments and I am glad you could explore the world with the unicorn by your side! Love your name by the way autumn phoenix adds an extra dash of flaming red with ruby gleaming sunsets and scarlet leaves as feathers making the name really vibrant! Dana is a nice name too! Thanks for visiting this one, I'll be visiting your own soon too! Dale :)
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 5 months ago

The contrasts between the beautiful description of loneliness &

Dear Dale, this is a delight to read, a great story & with a good chunk of substance to offer. There are a couple of typo's I think, eg did you mean slopping hat or sloping? & a tiny little reflection (feel free to ignore the line about a millionnaire kind of jolted me from the sweet mythological & ancient & greedless sentiment of the rest of the poem I wonder if you'd revisit that line, I don't think you need my help to come up with another, you are great at that stuff, but the word "care" begs it from me. The contrasts between the beautiful description of loneliness & loss at the beginning is so lovely with the eventual joy of finding a companion & the magic therein. This one is another that needs a revisit, lovely ta. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama
WF

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 5 months ago

You never cease to amaze me...

Anni here you are again... and what can I say!!! Yes how right you are, I have read this write about 500 times but never spotted that typo before! Hawk eyes you have and you are right, silly me lol! I am on the case right now! Hmmm the millionare one, i did that because he was penniless at the start however from reading it I can see what you mean as it is a modern word in reflection to backdrop of the tale and does distract from it. Thinking cap will come out and I'll be changing that bit me thinks! Thank you Anni for amazing input and incredible vision of words and poetry you have. Special talent you have in that, along side your great prose pen and lyrical nature. Thank you for the millionth time (ha ha!)... :) Dale :)