Emergence - Divergence

Between you and sky,sputters winter-
That skinny dog dismembering
Deaths necessitating partnership
It's thought consuming time
Devising a visibility of smoke
Starting a fire; fire of bones

Flaming speechless moon
Your wolf light cold in the red eye of night;
Relents the blood need to sever
the pure snows dying surrender
Giving emergence to die again,
And be reborn

Crumpled paper no where
On my desk
Pages blank, return to forests of paper

Dust to dust my insistent Yes-- finger-mail--- no, together- apart
Separations confusion of a walless clock
Combined and forever lost
Us

— Orphani, Oct 13, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Barry

I have missed your poetry so much I hope your well ... this is just wonderful I have just reread this twice and cannot find fault a sadness runs through it ... but beautiful work as par the norm for you now ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Welcome Back O.

Sad write this one. I hope all is well. A little cryptic, this one, but well done. Love lyz. XX

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Barry:

This is a very nice poem, sad, but very on the line of good poetry. Many have been saying where were you and your surreal poems of love and justice? Well done!!! Sincerely, Hugo

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

"flaming speechless moon- your wolf light cold"

I love the "flaming speechless moon- your wolf light cold" This is a very ethereal poem that sets a mood and carries one along through layers of coloured senses, philosophical allusions and tactile sounds and scents. I liked this poem O. Strange evocations remain in the mind after having read it. "Skinny dog dismembers" " Deaths necessitating beliefs" Decay of smoke rising" no where= nowhere Oh who are the 'us' I wonder? Yours with love Ann of Norway

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 5 months ago

Think better grammar would

Think better grammar would help your first verse. eg Between you and sky sputters winter- that skinny dog dismembers death's necessitating partnership. It’s thought consuming time devising a visability of smoke. Starting a fire; fire of bones. But this first stanza is a great meditation, and ends with a strong image, 'fire of bones' love that. Flaming speechless moon Don't think flaming in any way describes the moon, but speechless is spot on. The rest of the poem is very accomplished , as it all is really, your spacings capture the mood of hesitancy and regret very well. One last quibble separation's not separations. Really enjoyed this, highly intelligent and emotive.

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

Hold a woman in your arms

Hold a woman in your arms under a full moon, in a field of pines, and you'll see it burn.Actually it refers to a blood red moon that is rarely, but occasionally visable. Thanks for all your suggestions and kind remarks.Ross.I hope to review and enjoy your poetry soon. B

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

It seems I have somehow

It seems I have somehow missed much of your poetic art Barry, for this I apologize. Can I say I love your poetry? I also say that I agree with Ross on his spelling corrections and his synopsis. Speechless moon bares no regret, just Us, surrendered in her light. (bares is meant to be used here as in naked) Now if only you'd use spell check consistently or take a brush-up course in English. lol. Love, Anna

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

Yes, I have a lot of

Yes, I have a lot of catching up to do, on so many things.It's kind of funny (becaase) I resented being corrected on spelling, and grammar, and poetic content ; now I feel completely different about it. I am hungry to master every nuance of language so I can have as much fun as can be had; using it;Teasing you Dear. HAHAHA. Imagine; I just learned to spell [ because ]. Arn't you proud of me? Only ten-thousand words to go.I treasure everyone of your words as long as it's not "wayshower'.I am new to eveything; I am as a child reborn. Every blade of grass has become my playground; although I distain the Pharisaical, hobgoblins of perfect dick-tion, poyse and pompanusity; who scream at the absents of a comma, and throw away the beauty of butterflies, because their heads up the flies - butter.Can we agree on love, or some other childish sillieness, by which all things are made butterflies, and flowers, and long walks into each other.B

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 5 months ago

a very enjoyable poem to read

"that skinny dog dismembering death's necessitating partnership" Oh I loved that - I love that ... and "wolf light cold in the red eye of night" - I wish I had written those words. The imagery you provide to us in this piece is so well done and makes for a very enjoyable poem to read. Thank you for the pleasure of reading. ~Pamela