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D

Madman on a Raft

If I see her face amid your pain
Beneath a wreath of serpents
It is because her love is dead to me
The arrow of love has splintered
A thousand barbs hooked my heart within
And each a blooded poisoned thorn
As I have cut my own flesh are you risen
from your vaporific wake...

Whence Uriel draped in borrowed flesh
The wounds of moonlight piercing his
Cobweb form fire within fire his eyes
Swollen orbs which have turned life to stone
He has you dragged away by the wilderness
Of your hair underground to the place
where stars are imprisoned
And brighter than any body in all the heavens
Because these are the stars that
Once were angels...

My despair once shook the earth
And every tear that fell could melt stone
And my blood did draw you to a new flesh
If I have carved her features into your form
Making whips of your black hair
stained your feet to the cloth
That has born saviours...

And yet you still cleave ere to Eden
Know that there is a valley
My heart must enfold
Wherein a stream must ever course
Which flows ere to Eden
Thereon floats a raft
And there standing you
And I at your feet
As I was time on time ago
When you and I were young...

 

(An homage to James Clarence Mangan 1803-1849)
(2000 - revisited 2009)










 

— Dalton, Oct 13, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

More from this author

Critiques

Ravenshakti

Ravenshakti

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Dalton...

This is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read... It went straight to my heart...where it is dancing. Uriel... the Flame of God. I am in love with this poem. I will read it many, many times. Love, Raven. PS I have a portrait of Uriel... holding light...a flame in his hands.
D

Dalton

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Raven

I can't believe I havn't got back to you sooner for your lovely comments on my work here. Please put it down to the mistake of a novice to the whole computer world. You have a portrait of Uriel. I have an artists rendition, in a poster, of what looks like a female angel, on my living room wall. I wasn't sure of this piece. The favoured stanza, with the reference to Uriel, was added much later. I don't think it would deserve to be here without it though. Not wishing to contradict your own ideas of course, which are even more important to me now than they were when I first posted this piece, love john
L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Sorry

I disagree with your comment of the stanza in which you prefer. Only that it is the best one. This whole poem is fantastic, each stanza and word. You have written something so beautiful that I feel is up there with the best of them. Well done, Love Lyz, XX
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 7 months ago

Dalton

Thank you for the kind words on my page. I have to partially agree with you that the second stanza of this write totally blows me away - as does the third. Your style of writing brings one word to mind: sophistication. You're definitely no beginner on this front, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "There was no promise made, the part you played, the chance you took. There's no way out of here, when you come in you're in for good." - David Gilmour
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Madman on a raft

Dalton Welcome to neopoets I just love the title it drew me in instantly. we who are of the way of wierd and wonderful I love the rhyme and the description so vividly crated my mind racing with pictures. Wow forever young we will remain my friend I want more .......I will check out some more of your poetry Electric Blue Thank you for looking in on my poetry.
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 1 month ago

This is spectacular John

I do love that second stanza a lot, but I think the rest have their merits! Don't taunt them! ;) Your imagery and language use astound me, my friend! I don't think Mr. Mangan could be any more honored! If I had to make a suggestion on anything, it would be on stanza one, lines three and four. I wouldn't repeat the word "love" so soon after saying it once. It makes it read a little 'off' when read aloud. I'm not sure which "love" I would change, though. "Arrow of love" is such a familiar image and you give it such an interesting twist. On the other hand, I don't think there is any synonym that would work in the place of "her love". I'll think on this further if you'd like me to. Again, I'm astounded, just purely blown away, John. Thank you for such beautiful words! Kelsey
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 1 month ago

PS:

I apologize for not reciprocating any stars or a Spotlight nomination; I don't use either of those systems. If I did use them, you would certainly have a five-star rating and a Spotlight nomination from me! Kelsey