Seren

Oct 13, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Fallen Angel

An Angel falls
and no one hears,
the devil watches
and licks in sneer

Mute in this form
she called to god,
now bound to earth
a mortal outlawed

Drifting on sands
she waits,
for what life holds
or fates

A unicorns breath
shimmered her hair,
the cream of milk
in her skin so fair

The dark of night
touches her eyes,
the fathoms run deep
to other times

Drifting in robes
of saffron clouds,
her feet do whisper
in her night prowls

Listen real close
and you may hear,
the footsteps of angels
passing you near

As the sands of life
this angel waits,
for heaven to save
or death to grace

— Seren, Oct 13, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

seabhac

16 years 7 months ago

what did she do to fall so far?

Seems even the angels are not exonerated from the 'chop' these days. I love the touch of the unicorn, beautiful but I think my favourite lines are The dark of night touches her eyes, the fathoms run deep to other times Reincarnated angels, now there is a thought. This website should come with a health warning to its addictive qualities. Soft and gentle Hugs to you Jayne Liz

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Liz

She fell in love ... with a mortal theres more to these ones connected but not hard to say lol I wrote four of them all around similar themes,thanks soooo much for the read and the comment wasn't sure how I did on the edit, heads still a bit wobbley tonight but I am feeling a bit better lol Huggles much love and hug bugs Jayne x x x x

Geezer

16 years 7 months ago

Seeing Angels...

You paint such a beautiful picture of angels. The devil licks IN sneer? I would rather it be [licks a sneer] but then... there is that Aussie accent and dialect again. LOL I was so surprised that you posted something so soon, that I almost missed it. Beautiful picture of a gorgeous angel, waiting for the verdict. I can hardly wait to see the pic. of the Hug Bug, I have been sending them all over, and have gotten good response. Am now on Facebook, and have been sending them there too! LMAO at the What the @#%* are Hig and Hug bugs? Higgest of all Hug bugs, ~ Gee

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Gee

Thanks so much for the read Gee I wrote these in bed there are four of them in a similar theme cant say too much and give it away lol Oh and what I meant ?'and licks in sneer' so as the tongue passes his lips a sneer forms LOL thats what I meant ... oh the hig hug bugs are bloody gorgeous Gee but not finished will take a few days to animate it but will get it done asap lol you can post them on facebook LOL:P love and higgest bug hugs Jayne x x x x

Bonitaj

16 years 7 months ago

Jayne!

If I didn't know better I would say this is a self -portrait! Lovely write as ever! Well done! Boni j

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Boni

Well it wasn't meant to be about me but we do put something of ourselves and our life experiences into stuff and influence it but ... maybe your right lol yikes how much do I owe you Boni, for the consult ? .... shit get outta my head woman LOL love you (huggles) Love and higgest hug bugs Jayne x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

=0(

I agree with Boni, and it makes me sad... you know why. My favorite lines are: The dark of night touches her eyes, the fathoms run deep to other times Drifting in robes of saffron clouds, her feet do whisper in her night prowls Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Cat (Sis)

Awwwww (huggles) Cat wasnt meant to make you sad i wrote a few of these and there is more to the story ... She falls in love with a mortal and fell from grace ... so its an old story .. And it wasnt meant to be about me though I guess my experience of life lately is going to effect how I am writing ... but I never wanted to make you unhappy sweety Love and higgest buggest hugs my friend Jayne x x x

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Seren:

Wow!!! It's beautiful, I mean the idea of a mortal and an angel falling in love together. This goes beyond mythology, as there many angels nowadays circling the earth. I don't know why but it reminds me of flying saucers, lol. Thank you, Jayne, you are as always the Queen of Spotlight! Great poem, indeed! Sincerely, Hugo

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

A Big Thank You.

I was too tired to stay awake last night and I had to (jump out of bed) this morning, as you last night, lol, to read this first. And what a wait. Coffee and a brilliant read for breakfast, what more could one ask for. Yes it has sad connotations, and it does feel you have a little of yourself in this write, but as you say, a four part series. Looking forward to those, dear girl. Why do we have to wait, again?. Oh that's right, one a day, bugger!. Well I truly enjoyed your beauty and yes I do hear footsteps of Angels passing near and by. One I know by name, even though she has an alias, Jayne aka Seren. Lol. Well done Aunty Jayne. Just brilliant. Love to all, hope you have picked up today. Lyz. XX

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

A fallen Angel

Jayne You write such amazing rhyme I am lost within your words You incite such visions I see on that journey do I go Tears fall slowly down my cheek as angels whisper close by I feel thier touch they stroke my hair with a little breeze they let me know they are there I am never alone Electric Blue

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Magz

I always loved the movie City of Angels where Nick Cage falls to earth and becomes mortal for the woman he loves but in my poems theres a twist at the end this ones the first of four LOL and they are all connected loosely lol ... thanks so much for the read and the comment huni hope your well and doing ok love and higgest hugs Jayne x x x x

deelilah

16 years 7 months ago

Hi Jayne

Looking forward to the future installments. This was quite sweet. I really liked the line: 'Drifting in robes of saffron clouds, I try to imagine that. Are the clouds sort of yellow, like on a cloudy day with the sun behind them? Then I see this bright yellow robe with a feathery lighter colored fringe at the bottom. 'unicorn's breath' That made me think of Lyz's picture. Always, Deelilah

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Deelilah

Thanks sooo much for the read and comment on this one its part of four as I said but they are loosely connected , will be round later to see what you been up to hun ... the clouds I imagined would have been white/yellow ... and liz's picture is just gorgeous , shes a darlin woman her daughter and my nephew are having a bubba lol I am Great Aunty Jayne love and higges bug hugs Jayne x x x