Bukowski Pissed In My Cornflakes

OK, lemme try this again... I can clearly see the influence LOL, it practically oozes off the words! The refrence in your title wasn't neccessary at all, although that doesn't mean you should change the title, not at all. The title is excellent: in your face, abrupt and interest-grabbing. Only thing wrong with your language is "old ass guitar". If it isn't an "old-ass guitar", then its an ass guitar that is older, lol! Or is it SUPPOSED to be an "ass-guitar"??? Heehee. You have the rhythym and pacing absolutely down pat. The rythym of the last verse threw me a bit, but its beat, so its supposed to! lol It adds to the impact really really well. I still have no idea what "internal logic" is...but if it means the structure and rythym giving added impact and emotion to the contemptuous anger, weariness and frustration of the piece then yes, it is consistent! Good to see you writing Jess, keep 'em coming. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Which is really strange because I think Bukowski was a ^%$#@! obnoxious idiot. *LOL* Respectfully, Rett: "Telling me Illegal Immigrants have a right to be here is like saying the burglar that breaks into your home, now has the right to live there with you." Rett

Reminds me of a *Few Dollars More* Spaghetti Western. You and the twanger.. Hope you enjoy this and it makes your day, Jess. Hugs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6UpaWdzRdM p.s. Bukowski's MINE! lol,. pissed in your cornflakes... absolutely adore the title!

I love Bukowski, but I wouldn't eat them there flakes... lol... do check out Anna's link... it is a smiler! Richard

hehehehe. But did you notice the cornflakes? ~A

Dear Dwarf, the title of this poem: "Bukowski Pissed in my Cerial" made me laugh outloud, and the content of the poem did not let me down. Thankyou I needed a laugh. I like Charles Bukowski too for his poems and the only work of prose fiction that I have read of his entitled "Women" a favourite subject of mine. No real negative response to this poem, it leant my heart a certain cheer, thankyou Dalton.

You definitely show that raw earthy gruff Buk so blatantly shares in his masterful poetry. I may have changed "this" to "the" in the first line though ... Just a thought. Quite well done. ~Pamela

I admit that a little cathartic cussing does the body poetic good! I really liked this piece a lot! I don't have any negative comments just keep the creative juices going! I promise I will write more soonest! Happy Thanksgiving DS Baker

and Jim's comment about the ass-guitar how can Bukowski have a new book? cheers, Jess, whose nature is irrepressible

Jess I loved this one the title caught my eye and made me laugh and the content did not disappoint ... well done :) love Jayne x x merry Christmas to you and yours and a safe one (hugs)