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Seren

Oct 09, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

In the Shadow of Odin

Sorting through shovels
and picks and hoes.
I found at the bottom
an Axe that glowed

Under the soot
as I smeared it away,
was writing in language
my mind cant convey

Smoothing an age
that layered its shaft,
I found underneath
it was a wonder of craft

I held it to the light
and shimmered its head,
the feeling that filled me
wasn't of dread

A noise from outside
took my attention,
I wandered to find
myself in suspension

From out of the mist
came the chariot of sun,
drawn by six horses
and I stood stunned

Stepped in dust
that glittered my feet,
Odin debarked
this hero's smile greets

Gobsmacked I watched
as he towered the sky,
a mammoth of man
my eyes cannot lie

With a flapping sound
two ravens appeared,
they sat on his shoulders
and spoke in his ear

Whilst In my periphery
shadows appeared,
his warriors followed us
with Shields and spears

Handing me Armour
the Valkyries made,
as he stood by my side
I be not afraid

Climbing the carriage
that traveled the heavens,
my Axe lifts with might
a battle call to legions

And as we lift off
Odin trans-morphed in sight,
as an eagle he soars
a battle staged through night

— Seren, Oct 09, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

L

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

Goodness me

well done girly, I can see a little of you coming back with vengeance. Cool. Love the thought of you wielding an axe. Great write and yes, very mythical, and it sounded fun to write. Very vivd and colorful. Much likey. Lol. Love ya, I am off to bed soon nightowl. Lyz, XX.

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Lyz

I did my best to weave a little lore into this one maybe a little too subtle but it was fun to write and yes I am feeling a bit better I get a week off from the'juice'lol woooot so this week I should pick up a little more ;) thanks for the read I didnt know if I had gotten this one right lol I have lots of memories and I have a book about it but only one thing escaped me the name of the axe lol I will track it down in time .... with love and hug bugs Jayne x x x

L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Re read, lol.

Still a brilliant piece and his damn axe's name is haunting you isn't it. Lol. Hang on I have a big dictionary here with lots in it I will check. PAUSE. Back again, lol. Nope. The only thing is if you cant find it under Oden, then Woden, both are the same. Did you know he was the founder of art and culture as well. Cool. Anyway, still great write and chat soon. Love Lyz. XX

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Lyz

lol hes also the god of poetry, I guess he would be our god hahaha ... yeah that fucking name is going to elude me because I want to know so much LMAO when I dont want to know I will remember lol it sucks ... glad you enjoyed the reread I have been ... yeah not flash tonight lol I will live ... starting to feel better now :) Love to you huni I got something for Jade to give you so I will give it to her next time shes here .. I did something with your poem ;) lol Love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x

L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Hello Dear Jayne

Yep he is a God to a fair few things, but I do hope you get that damn axe mystery solved, lol. You look after yourself, i am still coughing and it is a pain to feel ok one minute and back down the next. Just take care. And now this little cat is curious, lol. Cant wait to see. Thank you. I am near off to bed missy night owl so enjoy. Love to all Lyz. Xx

16 years 7 months ago

My pumpkin is about to turn

My pumpkin is about to turn into a carriage and carry me off to bed LOL night night huni you take care of yourself ... huggles yawnnnnnnnnn, I am tired love and biggest hugs Jayne x x LOL curious he he he you have to wait ...

C

CyberSpace

16 years 8 months ago

High fives baby you know how

High fives baby you know how much I love this one ... love you get to bed lol

16 years 8 months ago

You cheeky prick LOL I only

You cheeky buggar LOL I only went to get a drink .... thank you yes I know you loved this one darlin lol and I will beeeee there soooon ;) love you baby x x x

16 years 8 months ago

=0)

"A bit of fun!" I think we could all use that. Loved the poem, still marveling at your rhyming prowess. O, please do look up the name of the Axe. I have an appetite for lore and myth. Excellent. But I must say, your title scared me, lol! Love, Cat

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Cat

I remembered most of it but I cannot for the life of me think of what the axe was called I know he had a spear and it was gungnir which apparently had to power to control a victory over battle with Odins supernatural powers(which he received from hanging from the world tree called Yggdrasil , which gave his warriors protections from death even without armour ... there is also a story if I remember the name correctly Ginnun-gagap they say the earth was formed from this and it was known as the great emptiness ...and there is a Giant ancestor of the giants called ymin .... but the name of the axe is in my head but I cannot remember lol it will come to me at the weirdest time when I am NOT thinking of it ... so glad you liked this one lol always wanted to ride in the chariot of the sun :P so I thought to write a little myth .... btw even the ravens are part of Odins story I just remembered the name of the kingdom of the gods Asgard ... ok enough I have raved on, and still dont have the name for the axe will search today lol ... bet you didnt expect a answer that long lol neither did I haha love and higgest hug bugs my darlin Jayne x x x

SR

16 years 8 months ago

loved where it took me

Really loved this one. I felt like I was on a journey through time and space and saw in my minds eye what you described.....it DRIPS with energy! well done..

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Stuart,Thank you sooo

Dear Stuart, Thank you sooo much for your comment I had hoped this one had a little more life my writing has been a tad lacklustre lately lol thanks you made me smile :) Will be round to see what you have been writing :) kind regards Jayne

P

paparazii

16 years 8 months ago

Vonderful write

There's myth in this piece and it really cuts through many ancient phenomenology, you've woven it with dearest and deepest love of myth. Wonderful and sweetflowing, stanza six even took me to Revelation, the last book of the bible, it's somehow familiar and it rings lovely. Love n light Paparazii

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Paparazii

I am stunned by your wonderful comment thank you sooo much .. I did try to put some lore into this one without overloading it ... thanks so much for the read and the comment I am smiling :) Love and light Jayne x x x

Fleur MacDonald

Fleur MacDonald

16 years 8 months ago

How do you do it

what a fantastic brain you have, and a wonderful imagination as well. Hope your doing ok on the other front! This fix will last me a while I think. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:)fleur

16 years 8 months ago

lol Thanks for the read hun

lol Thanks for the read hun this ones just a bit of fun with myth ...Glad everyones liked it I wasn't sure it have enough zing you know lol thanks for taking the time to read hun I know your a busy busy lady so I appreciate it (huggles)and I feel great tonight not too shabby at all lol with love and hig bugs Jayne x x x x

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Jayne:

A wonderful preparation for battle. A well written poem of great proportions, magical undertones and noble valor. I can see myself yielding my shield and weapon, fighting on your side, lol. Thank you, great images and words! As always, you carry the Aussie flag with great honor and pride. Sincerely, Hugo

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Hugo

Awww thank you but I borrowed on scandinavian Myth for this one lol its just a bit of fun I think maybe i should have wove a little more through it, I am not sure ,... you take care hun its late here or early lol I am off to bed night love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

16 years 8 months ago

I see...

That you are spreading myth and lore all over the place! Awesome read dear girl. As per usual, you have got it right in one. I won't spoil the fun by looking up the name of the axe myself. I will wait for you. How did you do with the history lesson? I also see that you are spreading those new hug bugs, and the higgest ones too! Maybe before long, we will see them on every street corner, and in every country. LOL Sending more hig and hug bugs, keep giving them away, I am all slobber and my arms getting sore from having to hug them to keep them quiet. ~ Gee

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Gee

I am sorry but I laughed so hard at those slobbering hug bugs but I have been making a picture to give them form lol poor buggars ... so glad you liked this one ... I have looked up the name of the axe and cannot seem to find it anywhere it has to be Odins Axe as Thor was the one how had the Hammer though in pictures sometimes its depicted as an axe lol who knows ... and there is a Giant called Ymin he had an axe as well but I cannot seem to find the name anywhere and whats worse I know it lmao .... my brain wont cooperate lol love to you both with higgest hugbugs Jayne x x x x

16 years 8 months ago

perfect

jayne, i just repeat my self when it comes to you. Wow, you are a godsend. love, Elizabeth

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Elizabeth Thanks for

Dear Elizabeth Thanks for the response and sorry I am slow replying have been down for the count the last few days ... thanks heaps for the compliment ... and the read hun take care love and hugz Jayne x x x

16 years 7 months ago

In the shado of

Jayne I am in awe of your rhyme. I am inspired by folklore. The Vikings I was drawn to when I was a child. I adored comic book and would copy the pictures which I loved to draw. But the charactors became alive to me my world the place I could exist and have adventures. I liked comics of the day and the Boys comics had better stories and THOR was my hero not only the image of a muscular young man but his strength in his belief to do good etc. A bookworm am I. Alone as a child I would read and words became my world. My real world. You take me on an amazing journey my friend I send you peace and strength always Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Magzzzz

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay I am soooo happy at your comment ... I worked really hard on this one to make sure it was right I researched and made sure my memory was up to scratch didnt want to muck this one up I love the story of odins warriors and in this one I got them both in ,.... your going to laugh my brother used to read the Thor comics and I was pretty keen on his muscles lol and his ummmm hammer lmfao !! anyhoo glad you got excited at this one ... big smile love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x x

A

Ailill

16 years 7 months ago

Good use of myth

Good use of myth here.. I like how you capture the image of Odin and turn it into a poem.. I can see the poet here lifted into the reverie of a dream about Odin, invoked by finding an axe with ancient runes on it.. If I was writing this, I would edit a little.. For instance this stanza: (its kind of fuzzy to the reader) I held it to the light and shimmered its head, the feeling that filled me wasn’t of dread Maybe? I held it to the light watching as it shimmered its head, (?) the feeling that filled me wasn’t of dread not sure whether that does justice to the meaning that you are trying to convey.. but I encourage revising that line.. Overall however, I like it.. it has good flow, some free form rhyme.. and good imagery..

16 years 7 months ago

My goodness your right ..

My goodness your right .. thank you for pointing that out .. to be honest that one verse bothered me , so i will play with it but the watching is a definite winner ... and one other stanza bothers me but I already have an idea to improve it ... yes I am a dreamer and a fan of myth .. so happy you enjoyed my little bit of fluff lol ' love Jayne x x

S

SeekerAfterTruth

16 years 7 months ago

Yay for Mythology! :D

The first thing I thought when I saw this - "Oooh, Norse mythology!" The second thing I thought was, "I respect your ability to maintain a regular structure, and the rhyme scheme." Hmm. I love this...versification of Norse mythology. Absolutely. I am wondering a little about the significance of the axe though. Is it an axe of Muspell? I recall some older texts attributing an axe to Odin...or Surtur. Anyway. Love the appropriateness of Odin, since he is also a god of poetry ;) Sincerely, -Seek

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Seeker

Its only in the last couple of months I have hit my comfort zone I had to work really hard on improving trust me lol and well I am always thinking of different types of poetry ...and this one was another step into something different which I have plans to write more like this but they arent finished yet ... Axe of Muspell I havent heard of that :O something I didnt know but I know the name of the axe just cannot for the life of me think of it ... hmmm now with those tidbits I can connect a few more dots .... OOoOOoO I like you Seek you are a goldmine lol ... thanks for the help .... love and hugs Jayne x x

S

SeekerAfterTruth

16 years 7 months ago

Just To Be Helpful

Just to be helpful, since the axe quite fascinated me, so I ran a search for it. http://www.terrapsych.com/gods2.html http://www.economicexpert.com/a/List:of:kennings.htm Not sure if these are of any help, since I see only a lopsided reference to an axe, although I suppose I may as well try ;) Sincerely, -Seek

16 years 7 months ago

Awww thank you soo much I

Awww thank you soo much I was actually going to have a look online when I posted my poem tonight ... its quieter at night and no interruptions, thanks so much for that have saved all those links and I am going hunting tonight, I am determined to find the name of that Axe LOL ... love and hugs Jayne x x

A

Ailill

16 years 7 months ago

myth of odin's axe

Here is a website article that may help with locating names of some of Odin's tools.. I found the name of his spear here... but not an axe.. Possibly some of the links it refers to can help in locating the axe.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odin

16 years 7 months ago

OMG thank you soo much

OMG thank you soo much Ailill ... see this is what I love about Neopoet everyone is so willing to share ... off to have a look at this link lol... love Jayne x x