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Tam the Chanter
Tam the Chanter
Oct 09, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Worst Love Poem Ever

                                           LUV  POME

AH LUV YOU
AYE!  AH DO!!
AYE!  YOU!!
NAW, NO YOU ____ YOU!!!!!!
THE FAT BIRD
WI' THE BIG NOSE
AND SPECS,
AYE--- YOU!!
EVEN THOUGH AH'VE GOT MAN FLU
AH LUV YOU

P.S. AHCHOO!!


                              EPILOGUE
To my fans(few, because this poem sucks)
I can smile and wave twenty five bucks
With a very small twiddle
Get a rhyme in the centre
But failed again! oh , what the ..hell?


      
— Tam the Chanter, Oct 09, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Tam...

I do hope you've entered this in the contest...
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Poetry, pottery, you say

Poetry, pottery, you say po-tay-toe, I say po-tot-toe; it's all s*** in the end on different compost heaps. Hey you taking the kids, grandkids to see *Where the Wild Things Are*. It's going to be a family outing. (My grandson, Justin is 21.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOkQ4dYVaM p.s. my son turned me on to the song..arcade fire... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEKC5pyOKFU several years back... perfect! Full circle. Hugs, Anna
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 8 months ago

wild thing

My dear Anna, backin the 60ies I think it was the Trogs sung "wild thing". Now I feel like a Gruffalo when the granddaughters visit. Love Ian
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

hello

I agree with Richard. I hope you have entered this in the contest. Always, Cat
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 8 months ago

bad pottery

there isn't a lot of difference between good poetry and bad pottery. If you lose the place in either medium you end up with language difficulties - either broken english or broken china Ian
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

…he says waving the $25

...he says waving the $25 certificate to prove his point. :-) Luv, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
theladyblue

theladyblue

16 years 6 months ago

haha fantastic!

Well, growing up where I have, this sounds actually a little familiar. lol Congrats! <3 Emarie __________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!
Joseph J. Breunig 3rd

Joseph J. Breu…

16 years 6 months ago

Congrats on capturing the prize...

Congrats on capturing the prize; what a great example of what not to write; between the bad grammar and spelling, it was hard to stop laughing - long enough to write this blurb. Thanks for the chuckle and congrats once again. --Joe
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

the prize

Thanks for the stars- but for bad verse maybe moons should be awarded. That'll be 5 crescents then !Thanks for writing Regards Ian T
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

ayrshire

Dear Seabhac, You have me intrigued as to your brave command of the ayrshire doric.Spoken like a native (written I should have said).Good to hear from you Kindest Regards Ian T
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

Panda moany - ummm

I'm sorry, Kali, but it's all Greek to me. Mind you it doesn't FEEL like Greek. Maybe I'm too stupid to see the obvious. Thanks for writing and I agreed with your comments on the rapist's charter poem. Kindest Regards Ian T O C D W W W M R NO W W W M R SO W W W O I W W W Roughly translated: Oh! see de birdies! Em are no birdies! Em are SO birdies! Oh aye birdies.....
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Yet Dan, Hooded Stranger,

Yet Dan, Hooded Stranger, was the only one on this whole site that wrote to me a personal email about the 11 murdered women's vigil. He was deeply affected, physically so. Sometimes what we see is not what we get, and something that is not clearly seen is obvious. Peace, Anna "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

opinions

Anna Dan may well be a decent man, I don't know him, but to me, there is a line which we should not cross. This line is at different positions for different people but there should be some concensus as to the pale and this was beyond it by a large margin. I am glad you wrote me, and I assure you I am not one to rush to judgement. Kindest Regards Ian T
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

Yes. In the end, we all

Yes. In the end, we all hold on to our Beloved opinions for dear life itself. Lest we admit that we know nothing but our own opinions. Rushing to judgment is not the issue here, imo. (In my opinion.) The issue is bringing out into the open just this conversation. The universe or god or whatever you want to call that-which-is-greater than our own arseholes--works through us as us. I for one, am all about crossing every possible line there is to cross that separates into *US* and *Them*. End of rant. Thank you for providing me the space. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

In the end

Anna, in the end we are all dead, but before the end, while the winds of change whistle round us,we can hold to our own morality. If we break down all the moral pales that our forefathers held and died for then we risk replacing abstract walls with concrete ones, just like Israel. End of my moralising. Kindest Regards Ian T
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 6 months ago

And yet there are no walls

And yet there are no walls between us Ian, nor, I suspect between Kal and Dan... And that's what it's all about. Moralizing has two sides and yet the third side we all can agree (up)on. Death is the final outcome no matter how righteous or horrible we are on the side of sides. It's what's in the middle--our humanity and our divinity--that keeps us alive, is life itself. Now, go in peace. The sermon has ended. ROFL. Love and hugs Ian. We are on the same page. ~A "...when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it." ~ Buddha
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

morality

As my mother would say "We're a' Jock Tamson's bairns", translated as "We are all the children of the same father(John Thomson, but the name is immaterial) and therefore part of a universal brotherhood. That succinct phrase does me nicely as an anchor and has always moulded my actions. You should know that I hold you in the greatest respect and return your love and hugs a hundred-fold Love and kindest regards Ian
KINGZOMBIE

KINGZOMBIE

16 years 6 months ago

Congratulations

Funny as hell, but I disagree.I dont think its the worst.Heres why, its funny, and you put some whit in it.Dont you think the worst poem ever should have nether of these traits as a matter of fact dont you think the worst poem ever should have no redeeming qualities.Still congratulations, I liked it, its not the same old vanilla I run across here.
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 6 months ago

degrees of worstness

I can only agree with you. However it would be a real downer if somebody won this category with a poem that was never intended as an entry! I wrote this as an entry and tried to make it funny, glad you liked it Kindest Regards Ian T