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themoonman
themoonman
Oct 07, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Muted

He was so tired of listening to grown-ups
declare their right not to hear the world

he strapped the poem against his chest
and screamed... inserting the pen

Hear it, our love is worthy
See it, each life carries importance
Feel us, and the hunger of our children

the stench of reality
consuming in its roll
dusting innocence
closing eyes
warping minds
blending perceptions

blood and ink mingle
draining the ball-point execution
screams turn silent
because no-one

no-one is listening
— themoonman, Oct 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

More from this author

Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

16 years 8 months ago

Deafness...

Ears that don't hear, are numb. Brains that don't hear are dumb. I love everything about this one Richard. Bam! You hit me in the mind with it. Ballpoint execution! Some times parents are only right because they have seniority. Someday, our children will have the wheel, and they will have to drive solo. We just have to hope that they will have more sense than we did. Awesome write,~ Gee
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Bam

I hit you in the mind... loved that image! I am hopeful for our children to run this world a bit better, I think there has been great and wonderful insight shown by the young of today...
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Richard

I agree with the ever-wise Geezer and all the points he makes. But the children whose day is tomorrow will (probably) only listen to their children, if they have been taught by example. I truly loved: blood and ink mingle during the ball-point execution Always, Cat
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Cat...

thank you for your contribution, and you are right... tolerance is a learned response, and the need to change is upon us. thanks Richard
Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years 8 months ago

VNV Nation

There is a band called 'VNV Nation' and they have a song 'Chrome' where one of my favourite lines is "But I'm still talking and you're not listening" - your amazing piece reminded me of that song and line. I did like the awkward style of various lengths of lines, somehow it gave this poem an edge that makes it stand out as one of your best. I thoroughly enjoyed it my friend. HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Hi Dan...

thank you, I am honored you liked it... it is a bit of a darker one. I have not heard the band, but I will look them up. thanks Richard
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Dan...

just wanted to let you know I looked up the band VNV Nation, kickass lyrics on Chrome... Further too... Doll Face (illusion) what an image filled video... thanks for turning me on to the band... thoroughly enjoyed my musical jaunt this morning!
Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years 7 months ago

VNV

I will be seeing VNV Nation play live in London this Saturday, I love this band and my own band have often been referred to as the New VNV!! Glad you liked them...if you wish to hear more of them, pm me. regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
deelilah

deelilah

16 years 8 months ago

Amazing Richard

You just get better and better. Stabbing oneself in the heart by nailing a poem on your chest is a compelling image, the ultimate in frustration. And you're right, no, one listens---to anyone---and that strikes truth for many, many points of view (of which there are more than one), perhaps valid, perhaps not. One has to wonder how there, in fact, be so many opinions. Seems to me like truth is truth is truth. By what standard shall we measure? As long as standards are relative, we'll have no resolve. I am taking it that, though from a child's viewpoint, the poem has a universal reach, age not being the criteria, rather, perhaps, innocence or vulnerability. this is substantiated in the lines: 'hear it, our love is worthy see it, each life carries importance feel us, and the hunger of our children the stench of reality consuming in its roll dusting innocence closing eyes warping minds blending perceptions' I love thinking about what you're thinking Richard. Always, Deelilah
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Deelilah...

you truly have a discerning eye... thank you... thank you! Richard
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Anne...

I am glad the poem made you think, that means it was a success! and you are already doing the same thing to your readers. thanks Richard
Seren

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Richard

Its all been said before me with flare ... wonderful poem ... makes us all think life is precious and shouldnt be taken for granted ... love and hugs Jayne x x x
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Jayne...

that is the ultimate goal of us as human beings, or should be! thanks my friend Richard
L

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

By the 3rd stanza

i was in tears. i have and most probably, still, have been guilty of not hearing my kids. i loved this and you have presented this well. love 2 all, lyz xx.
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Lyz...

we as parents are all guilty of not hearing at some point, I didn't mean to cause that kind of reaction, I thank you for being so in tune with the wordings. Richard
W

Wafi

16 years 8 months ago

Elders Are Always Right :(

Loved the idea in this poem, Richard. Reminded me of one of my own poem which I had written in a situation when I was feeling completely helpless... Cos none was listening to me as well, as I am not the eldest in my family. My frustration came out in the form of this poem http://www.neopoet.com/node/15723. That was for the education of my sister that I was fighting(struggling) for, with my elder brothers...(may seem strange to you but In a conservative socity it's not considered a crime thing to deprive a female from her right of getting formal education) My helplessness and frustration made me keep my mouth shut (for a time) but I didnt lose heart and I am proud to say that I didn't leave my sister go without education. This was just a small example Richard, that I shared with you! Other than that I am never appreciated weather in my family or in the circle of my social relations cos of my thoughts and ideas just because my voice is weak! "Elders are right!" (a sentence that I really hate, but have to hear it a lot) Thanks you dont think that way! Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Wafi...

thank you so much for your great response to this write! Elders sure in the hell ain't right all the time, they get stuck in what works, rutted ways that desire change, need it in fact. I am reminded of when I was young, the saying was that "children should be seen and not heard", but my father's version of it was "children should not be seen or heard", very stifling to say the least. When I was young there were songs of peace, like "Imagine" and several others, but even my generation seems to've clustered into the realm of the rut of life. I have high hopes for the world, for today is another day, another time, a more aware world. I'm so glad you stood up for your sister, I believe children everywhere should be allowed the freedom of education, for we all own the desire to learn... thank you again for your ever so warming response! Richard
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 8 months ago

The poem alone was awesome

It was a stabbing screaming poem of absolute frustration and so well executed (Apologies) But boy the response it has received is an unfolding in itself and the positive balance this poem needs in the light of our lives... We have listened, got the message you sent and can relate it to our own lives, see poetry really can change the world. Wonderful
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Liz...

the poem itself is mediocre, I do not kid myself, but I was trying to say something important to the world... and the responses tell me that I did deliver a message to some... yes, poetry can indeed change the world and for me to just get a few words down that deliver is more than I could ever ask for... thank you Liz Richard
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Again, I missed a worthy

Again, I missed a worthy poem, but I suppose not...;-) And when no one listens (the illusion of self-hood) in the silence, everyone is heard. Blood and ink, what a metaphor~ love as always, Anna
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Anna...

thank you for your comment, I had a picture in my mind for the old saying, written in blood... Richard
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 8 months ago

this is one of the best poems of it's ilk I may ever have read!!

Bloody hell Richard, this is one of the best poems of it's ilk I may ever have read!!!! I have hardly words to do it justice, it has true genius & I feel proud of you in a very respectful way. So powerful, so cutting, brilliant... I am so glad this got spotlight!!! he strapped the poem against his chest and screamed… inserting the pen hear it, our love is worthy see it, each life carries importance feel us, and the hunger of our children This work just sliced into me Richard, I think there are moments in many of our lives we feel this dreadful silencing crucifixion. This put voice to the way I feel tonight I could cry. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Anni...

I am so glad you liked the poem, you leave me wondering what to say to the silent crucifixion, except, that sounds like a great title. thank you Anni Richard
W

W.C.Wampler

16 years 8 months ago

...muted...poem

MOON., Another excellent write sir. By half way through, I was feeling the way I feel when I read some of Pete Townsend's great work. You don't just have a way with words, you have a way of expressing a way of life. A thinking man. wcw
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

W.C.W....

it is always good to see you on the site, a thinking man, well that is a compliment of the highest kind... thank you
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Kelsey...

thank you for being here, it is so good to see you! I believe you are right about the word, and I am going to change it... it is funny, because I thought the same thing about the word every time I read it, but when one knows it is there, it becomes easier to read, and easier to disregard the initial clunkiness... thank you! I am doing ok and I hope you are skating through your studies at school with ease... Richard
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 7 months ago

Richard

Regarding what I said to you in reply to your post on my first blog... See? I told you. Bloody excellent work. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Jim...

Thank you sir... your approval means a great deal to me!
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

Surrealistically stunning this Moonman,

Surrealistically stunning this Moonman, I think you must have been born on the moon, and looked down at the little blue globe and pondered the inhabitants strange behaviours making up your mind to descend there to help them, so deep is your conviction. It is a blessing such people are to be found. Love Ann of Norway
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Ann...

Your Nordic beauty transcends the miles between us, I am slow dancing to your loveliness and bow to your utmost grace... We who dance the commonality of now, in participation of Life... thank you!
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

What a lovely reply to my comment

Wow what grace you 'give' me and I thank you for that Mr Moonman, as to beauty well I'm nearly 70 years and that has long gone, in fact has never been there, I was always glad that I wasn't a Beauty as they, I believe, have a difficult life, being chased by the wrong people, no its better to be plain and ordinary then you have the most fun in the end!! Sh!!! If your picture is anything like you I would say that it is you who have the grace and the pen to follow it up with, those long features and the ski jump nose, the magic-man whiskers and the well shaped ears, eyes that tell us you want to 'look' supercilious' and important, lips at the ready, oh perhaps I shouldn't send this bit do you think? And not to forget that sense of humour, that is here and there in smile 'bands(N)' and twinkles in the eyes you have definitely got that too haven't you? Above all we know that you have empathy and that is one of the most important in this life's missions, whatever we chose to do with it. I love the "We who dance the commonality of now, in participation of Life…" Oh a lovely way of putting our dance, this I shall always think of when commenting here. How simply wonderfully put , don't you think so folkens? I lift my daily glass of red wine to you Moonman, and hope you too have a good life, even if you sit up there in your moon looking abroad on the many things. Thank you with love from Ann of Norway
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

“I lift my daily glass of

"I lift my daily glass of red wine to you Moonman, and hope you too have a good life, even if you sit up there in your moon looking abroad on the many things." You bring tears to my eyes, my dear sister from Norway. May we all have a good life, can we ask for more? Love you all so very much, Anna There are no strangers in Paradise.
L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Love it

Again and again. Love Lyz. XX
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

16 years 7 months ago

Muted

Richard, from the title, to the very end it is a great thought provoking poem.I am in agreement with Hooded Stranger, the various lines and lengths added dimension to this very good piece! ___________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Janice...

it is always good to see you, I am ecstatic over the attention this poem has received... thank you!
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 7 months ago

dusting innocence...

I just stopped by to read your october poem, Mr.Moonman it reads just like autumn easy on the eyes and beautiful yet deep with melancholy and a hint of anger and then hopelessness with the final line comes the silence it seems as if it were covered by snow I love the image of the pencil stabbed into the heart through the poem Richard, this is great your Proprietress
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Kata...

please tell me you are here for posting something beautiful for us to feel... you have been missed by me, it was such a grand surprise to see your beautiful face... thank you!
G

Gabrielle

16 years 7 months ago

Vivid

You've captured song and sound in your poem. I know that your poem is entitled Muted, but I feel it expresses more: the sounds of the heart and soul.
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Gabrielle...

such a lovely name! thank you for your positive encouragement!
B

bjp

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Richard,

The image in my mind was a fountain pen until you set me straight. This is a wonderful poem. My cursor had difficulty scroling all the way down to find the comment space. This poem has a great opening, matched with a powerful closing and thematic consistency. It is rare to get all three. This is also a poem of anger. Anger is a great motivator for writers and many others. In my first career, I was very conscious about the thanks I owed anger to get the blood pumping and the brain moving. I still have anger. I just cannot get it to work for me like it did in the old days. Too many paradoxes, I think, or too much wear. Anger is also a bit scary, for the writer and reader both. And scary is an emotive hook which this poem uses well. And if I might add, your use of vocabulary is on a upward gradient. I don't really mean the words each unto themselves but in relation to each other; the tension between words in the same line or stanza. I have been meaning to comment here for some time. Please excuse the delay. Brian
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

My friend Brian...

the image for me was also a fountain pen, but the ball-point execution seemed to fit so well I had to go with it. I'm glad you picked up on the anger, when I look around the anger swells upward to the point of feeling muted... it is hard for me to understand why man can't see that we should all be tolerant of each others belief systems, and for the sake of future generations, I think we need to listen. thank you Brian, it warms me inside to know you are here.
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

The difficulty is that our

The difficulty is that our belief systems are the very thing that cause *intolerance*. To live beyond any beLIEf system, is to live in the present. Only in the present do we have a chance to practice loving kindness, which IS tolerance. Thank you again for your pen's *spirit*, Moonman. Love. ~A There are no strangers in Paradise.
Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years 7 months ago

Moonman

Richard, if you are trying to get the world record for the most comments ever on Neopoet...I think you may have won already...it is amazing the amount of feedback your poem has created...good job my friend. By the way...VNV Nation were awesome. I told Ronan (lead singer) about your poem, and he was going to have a look at it...although I wonder if he'll be able to as your poems like mine are members only...if so can I email it to him? regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Dan...

why hell yes, please do send it to him, I would be honored, who does the writing for the band... chrome has wonderful lyrics... who came up with the idea for the video on Illusion, very cool! I guess I didn't realize you knew these guys personally... Ya know, when I first posted this poem, I liked it, but you never know how a poem will be accepted... I am overwhelmed! thanks Richard
Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years 7 months ago

VNV

Richard, I will indeed send it along to him. He is in the middle of a European tour right now, so I don't expect to receive a reply any time soon, but when I do I will of course let you know what he thinks of the poem. The singer Ronan Harris is the lyric writer...not sure about the video of 'Illusion'...I'll find out. HS ps. you must have won 'the most comments award' by now! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

Thank you for bringing this

Thank you for bringing this up, HS. Why would we *members only* any of our poems????? As if___________? (And I forget now who's poem--I think Kata's-garnered 57 responses, I just noticed that the other day. Love to All, Anna There are no strangers in Paradise.
Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years 7 months ago

members only

I for one use 'members only' because a poem I posted some time back (Players), was read, possibly by a non-member(s), who then decided to email my band email address and threaten to attack my band's website and also my Hotmail account if I did not remove the poem. I refused to remove my poem and my band's website and my personal hotmail accounts were hacked! I can't prove if the three individuals who did it are Neo members...but I doubt it, so the use of 'members only' works as a safeguard. I can't explain why others do the same, but I for one am glad it is an option. 57 reponses!! wow! HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

O my. I keep forgetting the

O my. I keep forgetting the craziness and that some folks in poetry sites are content to destroy rather than create (poetry/music). I can almost understand the computer worm/virus programmers, if they succeed, they have created destruction. Crazy crazy world. Thank god for music, poetry, art and nature. ~A There are no strangers in Paradise.
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 7 months ago

Members Only...

the reason I use it is because some publishers will accept poetry as being unpublished if it is not open to the public, but, some will not even accept it then... most look at it as if it has been in the public eye, it has lost first publishing rights.
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 7 months ago

Well, who said old dogs

Well, who said old dogs can't learn new tricks? Never thought of it. Now I have a dilemma to solve. ~A There are no strangers in Paradise.
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 7 months ago

Richard,

apart from an interesting - and entertaining, thanks Anna ;) - discussion of the members only posting option, I have also missed out on a wonderful write from your pen. I had a conversation with Kata the other day, about our old writes, and we both said: How differently I would write that now... I think you have also come a long way with your writing, you are improving with every new piece, yet you never lose your unique moonman voice. Loved the poem, ~Nina
Q

Quillsvein1

16 years 7 months ago

reminds me

vaguely of something Paul Westerberg might have written--the corruption that ensues from growing up itself! Aren't we, as poets, supposed to retain our sense of childlike wonder and *not* become part of the screwed up adult world? Your poem presents quite a challenge. Excellent job. GB
I

Idlemindwondering

16 years 7 months ago

The world may be run by

The world may be run by "elders" but it is inherited by youth. Babies cry as they enter this world and I often wonder if they are born knowing truth as it quickly fades from memory like a dream. Too often the young are ignored even though by there very innocence or lack of experience they may see clearer than we. they see truth we have become blinded to. Many eastern beliefs hold that the journey to enlightenment lies in going back to birth. A great read ken
Pamela A. Lamppa

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 7 months ago

Muted

It is all too often we neglect to hear the voices of our children, those that question us to find answers. They are the leaders of tomorrow and spell more importance than we may realize in our self centered grown-up world. And when the time comes they raise their voice, we all too often turn an unheard ear, thinking "youth - so naive." Perhaps we ought to listen to the tears of the babe - and remember it is from where we too have sprung. An excellent read. -Wist
Z

ziggy

16 years 7 months ago

MUTED

enda, patrick collins. hey there so many comments i had to scroll down for ever lol. not surprised this stands well strong meanings in this a quote came to mind while reading " there is none so deaf as those who do not want to hear , the closing stanza i find very strong and well protrayed ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Muted

Richard I find the last stanza the strongest and one I feel would relate to all of us here on Neopoet You talk straight and we all understand where you are coming from my friend Always Electric Blue
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 6 months ago

Thank you all...

for reading and commenting on this poem, when I wrote it, I liked it but was unsure how it would go over here... thanks for letting me feel my words are welcomed
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 6 months ago

May the stars all fall out of the sky and dance for you dear Moo

The moon man, or man in the moon in this case is firmly planted, or poised on terra firma, here among us I see, no longer allowed his sanctuary in the skies of Neopoets landscape. You sure caused an avalanche of most interesting comments and that is to be applauded. May the stars all fall out of the sky and dance for you dear Moonman, Richard. Love Annof Norway.
D

Damo

16 years 5 months ago

Wow! people went nuts on this

Wow! people went nuts on this one - I saw one of yor responses - 'this poem was medicocre' - in terms of poetic structure and form? Personally, I think that meanin is often lost amongst the bright lights of 'style' and 'form' - they are fun to play with but can sometimes get in the way...