Seren

Oct 07, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

In the Grace of Peace

As an ether
on the wind
it calls to me,
beckoning
from the sublime,
reaching past all time
all knowing

Breathing into the glass
fogging me,
in the mystery of tomorrow,
an essence of self
renews faith,
I lay apart my soul,
lifting up the cowl
that covers my sins,

And I weep
For the things
I have done,
laughing
for the things
yet to be,
and hope
that nothing ,
but peace
descends on all
in graced pieces

— Seren, Oct 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

Youre Back

Well done on another fine write. I hope all is peaceful for u too. Worded beautifully and your title is apt. Good one. Love till later, Lyz. Xx

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

My darlin friend I am the drunken master tonight lol sorry but something had to give ... he he I am slightly wobbley lol but all good glowing and stufff lol I know I am naughty but I thought 'stuff it' you only turn 40 once :) Glad you liked this one its my heartsong I guess you could call it ... I wrote this one a long time ago and I didnt know if it was any good soooo while I was drunk I bit the bullet and submitted it he he god I am gonna regret this in the morning ... thats the slowest I Have ever typed in my life lol love you huni mwah seeya next week ;) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

hugo la rosa

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Jayne:

There is no allowed regrets for you, my dear friend, since what you have written is beautiful. I like the content, because old or new, as the writing may be, if you posted it, it tells me a lot about your state of being. I'm really glad! Sincerely, Hugo

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Hugo

thank you I should be barred from any devices of communication when I drink which isn't very often,and thanks so much for the read and the comment this was posted with lots of trepidation lol I wrote this a long long long time ago ... and thought eh I am drunk enough to submit that ... well its 5am and I am going to bed after I answer all you good people LOL you only turn forty once eh ? and that was a month ago lol Love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

My dear Lady Jayne, peace if

My dear Lady Jayne, peace if a gift the Universe bestows in this very moment of being. It is good to wallow it, to get drunk in it's exquisiteness. Hugs of healing love, Anna

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Darlin’ Anna I am drunk on

Darlin' Anna I am drunk on bourbon and strawberry cowgirls LOL nice mix if you ever feel the need ... and well I decided now was as good as anytime to celebrate ... sooo I let what little hair I have down lmfao and had a few as we say here ;) love you darlin so glad you liked this one its an old one lol very old ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 8 months ago

"in graced pieces"

Oh in graced peices our comments fall on thee, bithe spirit of the nights inebrations, you have taken us into your gossamer clad mind and made us feel ethereal and special in your company. This is terrfific, truly Jayne, perhaps you should get drunk more often!!! No don't do that, as it blurrs the mind so often, you didn't write this while you were D did you? Love to dear you from Ann

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Ann

No did not write this drunk LOL .. if I had it wouldnt have made much sense,I wrote this when I was 16 lol long time ago , I was a naive young idealistic girl back then but still thats me in every word I have updated it a little but havent done ,I am soooo glad you guys liked this one I have been thinking whether to submit this one for seven months it took me getting drunk to bite the bullet lmao love to you and yours dear Ann love and higgest bugs jayne x x x

seabhac

16 years 8 months ago

A lovely change

My favourite lines are I lay apart my soul, lifting up the cowl that covers my sins, This is a different flow and tempo from your work I have been reading in the short time I have been on Neo. Somehow it has slowed the pace within you and allowed a different melody to emerge. What ever the influence this is a lovely insight to your soul. I really liked the rhythm in this. Well done Jayne Hugs Liz

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Liz

This was me a lifetime ago LOL very different young woman she was, I have done a small edit but havent changed much at all just punctuation etc to give it better flow ... I have been sitting on this one for a long time I am glad I got drunk now LOL I thought it sounded pretentious love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Jayne

I know I promised you that I wouldn't give you stars, but I just can't help myself when you write something this excellent and fair. Is today your Birthday? Did I miss it? Well, happy 40th! This poem is something a little different from what you have been posting, and I love it. Especially these lines: And I weep For the things I have done, laughing for the things yet to be, and hope that nothing , but peace descends on all in graced pieces Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

My Darlin Cat

Awwww dont worry about it, I am over all that now its only a couple of weeks and I go on my extended holiday LOL they can have a break from me then .... you are always my best critic ... and this one I didnt know ... and never do lol ... I always think they are crap lol eh what do I know I am drunk lol oh and NO its not my birthday this is a very much belated celebration and I thought ehhhhh stuff it I am going to ahve a drink and get mucked up lol soooo I did lol god help me when I wake up lol ... love you and higgest biggest bugs LOL Jayne x x x x

Geezer

16 years 8 months ago

It so sounds...

Like you wrote it today! Your personna shines through and you are easily recognisable. And don't interfere with my right to give you stars! LOL Young and naive, maybe... But I don't think you have changed that much since your little distant youth. You are basically an idealistic person, who thinks that the world ain't all that bad. That's why we love ya' sending the hisggest bugs of all, ~ Gee I keep sending the higgest bugs, 'cause I don't know what to feed them.

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Gee

There were a few words I changed they were a little young for the theme of the poem ... I wrote this so long ago and I forgot about it ... then finding it, months back I had a look at it and I thought I sounded like a prententious teenager lol sooo I put it aside never letting anyone read it .... well the dwarfs got the drums and the guitars out last night and I decided ? to bite the bullet and thought ? eh they can only think what a goose I am LOL and submitted ... I can tell you my friend the drums are in my head today and I am regreting it but damn had a good night ... LMAO love to you and yours The bugs next hugs to eat LOL ;) higgest bugs and love Jayne x x x

onemorning85

16 years 8 months ago

Enjoyed

I enjoyed this piece a lot. My favorite stanzas were the first and last. My favorite lines were the first four.

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Morning

thanks for the read and the comment glad you enjoyed this one I am chuffed everyone liked it .... never expected it this time .... kind regards Jayne x x

bjp

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

There is seriousness here and the etherial. There are few rhymes in this poem but more unusual imagery: lifting up the cowl/ that covers my sins. You are being watched over my many and by family, which is, oddly, the mark of a happy life. It is as if we are breathing in for you, as we do not want your swelter of words to be the substitute of being. You are teaching us all about living and we are entranced - careful and yet greedy that this delicate thing, our Jayne-Chloe, write on in ever more slender caligraphy, if only to comfort us. Brian

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Brian

I have just sat here for five minutes not sure what to say .... I can tell you I wrote this a few days after I turned 16 .... four days before I turned sixteen I had a life changing event... but it was the event that defined my life and who I have become ,this poem was the crazy thoughts of a sixteen yr old struggling to make sense of the world ... and hoping that in a humble plea that god would fix it all .... and in a way asking to be forgiven for something that wasnt my doing, though I took the blame,finally realising I had to get off my ass and fix it myself, no one was going to do it for me ... I sat it in my folder for months waiting and thinking on it taking it out from time to time ... lol I am glad I got drunk last night I dont think I would have ever put it on otherwise ... You know my life has had more sadness than most but in that sadness I have found small joys and they keep my head up and heart strong ... and I am blessed I have a whole world of friends and family looking after me, I am going to miss you guys ...And the poetry has just been secondary for me lately the friends I have here mean the world to me you and the lovely Olya included as you know ... love to you both Jayne x x x x Btw hair of the dog isnt the whole kennel right ? lol ;) someone just said to have a hair of the dog ... I laughed and said I need a whole kennel today hahaha

deelilah

16 years 8 months ago

Hi Jayne

Did I read this right? It's a happy birthday time, so a very happy unbirthday, to you, to you. At the moment I'm a little bit drunk too. Truck broke and we're stuck in lovely Reno, Nevada. What a great place for a break down. Just had oyster shooters in tequila. Yes. I'll bet in many ways you are the same young woman (in a good way, the way we've been talking lately about how we age in body but not in soul), and that is why the poem is still relevant for you and for us. I especially like: 'And I weep For the things I have done, laughing for the things yet to be, and hope that nothing , but peace descends on all in graced pieces' Yours, Deelilah

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Deelilah

My birthday was last month this was a belated celebration lol and this poem ... wow I am blown away by peoples reactions ... its pretty amazing I wrote this 24 yrs ago lol there is older poetry but this one was the first adult thoughts on paper I put down ... I was drunk as a skunk and watched the sun come up this morning !!! LOL @ the tequila woooooeeeee,you are a woman after my own heart ... and damn woman you pick the most exotic places to break down .... I would love to go there .... thanks for your wonderful comment hun its very much appreicated LOL I am quiet as a mouse tonight I am trying NOT to move my head too much LOL love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

pleiades

16 years 8 months ago

well, i have to say, i

well, i have to say, i have done something i rarely do... and that is read the reviews and subsequent comments from you. what a pisser! i chuckled throughout all the reading, picturing you happily drunk...not giving a shit really, about anything! i gather your birthday a little time ago, but heck...so what? HAPPY FORTIETH!!! you wrote this when you were 16? good grief! what a write for a 16yo... great expression. great emotion. and even greater understanding of self. i'm quite amazed that a 16yo would have this level of emotional depth. this is a terrific write jayne...whether by a 16yo, or a 46yo...it's good stuff. it resonates. cheers, p.

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear P

I was a very grown up 16yr old I had no choice ... by the time I was 16 my sister had married and my brother had married(both has children) lol I have nieces closer in age to me than my siblings, they were in the mid to late twenties and my dad was nearly sixty lol I grew up in a world of adults I am the baby of my family even in the grandkids ....and a few days before I turned sixteen something changed my whole life forever ... and this write was a result of that and well ... I dont even know what the hell i was thinking anymore when I wrote it ... for me finding it it was like finding the words of a stranger in my hand writing and then remembering it all ... left it for a while did a smallish edit made it more readable and this was the end product thanks so much for the read and the comment ... it is good to have a few more aussies here ... I know what you mean totally !! and glad you got a giggle out of my drunnk ass stupidity I am paying for it tonight lol hangs head LOL love and hugz Jayne x x x

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Kal

Thankkkk you I am paying for it tonight lol big time lol take care love Jayne x x x

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Sweet Jayne, I think you

Sweet Jayne, I think you have not much changed from 16 yr old as evidenced by your poetry. I truly feel, no matter what, we are the same *being* having different experiences. I have fallen in love with you as with so many here. Fearless poets, claiming what is rightly *ours*. And it takes forever to *grow up*; when we do we realize we are lost children, eh? Hugs of healing love, Anna p.s. Geezer you are one in a million, "I keep sending the biggest hugs 'cause I don't know what to feed them." p.p.s. Deelilah, I wasn't sure if that was your rig before. If you write a poetry book, I have a name: "Sexy Trucker Chick Does Poetry." Smiles.

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Anna

its funny in this write I cannot see myself a little here and there but there is something else in this one ... that isnt in my other poetry and I cant put my finger on it all the months I sat on it I didnt know if it was a good thing or a bad thing .... hun I will never grow up per see I think I will be the nana doing stupid things with her grandkids lol but thats ok slightly insane but loveable I can live with ... you take care my dear lady higgest bugs LOL you feed them hugs btw darlin' lol ... love you Jayne x x x x

professor

16 years 8 months ago

Hi JayC

I just popped in briefly to Neopoet and saw you were in the Spotlight again lol. The first two verses of this poem, they have great imagery and flow. To be honest...as you know i always am...unlike dear Cat i am not so fond of the third verse after the first few lines. It switches to being rather more preaching and for me the repetition of peace and pieces in the last three lines jars a little. Anyway, as always this is just the way it came across to me and i truly love the first two verses. Love and hugs Keith

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Keith

Woah now I am surprised ello LOL ltns .... yeah this ones rough at the end I hesitated and then didnt change those last few lines I wanted them to be as much like the original write as I could without totally changing the message ... but I think to change it would take away the fact it was a 16 yr old mind that wrote it lol ... I am glad you liked the two verses but I have to say the use of piece and peace in the last two lines bothered me but ...I was sixteen asking for god knows what lol well I know but lol ... thank you for the read its good to see you hanging round the place ... tell all love from me (huggles) thanks for taking the time hun I know how busy you both have been ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x

Electric Blue

16 years 8 months ago

In the grace of peace

Jayne regardless when it was written it is timeless and we write differently in various situations which brings colour and joy just love this electric blue

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Magz

I am going to miss you while I am away in hospital ... your comments are always so beautiful and make me smile thank you for that my darlin friend ... hope all is well with you hugz Love and hugz Jayne x x x x x

Justice

16 years 8 months ago

Perfectly articulated

Well done. Let go of your guilt!

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Jussie !!!

OMG !!! I missed a visit from you I must not have got the email or was sick ... cause I only just noticed your comment looking for something else ... no guilt huni let all that go a long time ago ... not that it was my guilt but it felt like it .. love and hugs thanks for the visit miss your poetry now hurry up and write something else LOL love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x