Kailashana

Oct 06, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I've forgotten what a man feels like

i know what makes the moss green
and why it grows on the North side
I know why dinosaurs died
and how the universe was born
i can quote, I can abstract
I can run rings around Saturn
in lucid dreams,
feel sadness and weep when
the sun goes down
across the sea,
lamenting with the pelican
albatross and the colour
aqua

Sometimes
when I reach into memories
I uncrumple
the suchness of my poems
I think
I am invincible

I linger on his breath

but most of all
I can almost forget what
he feels like
deep inside.
where desire lives
and poems die.

— Kailashana, Oct 06, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

Great

This is such a great write. A little sad. The last stanza says it all. I would offer more but I am at a loss for words, Best wishes. Love to you, Lyz. XX

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Thank you Lyz for reading,

Thank you Lyz for reading, your best wishes and love. I still have high hopes. Hugs of Love, ~A

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Anna (huggles)

There is a poignant yearning that exsists in your words ... and wistful memories come alive ... I can run rings around Saturn in lucid dreams, feel sadness and weep when the sun goes down across the sea, lamenting with the pelican albatross and the colour aqua Loved this ..... lucid dreams I can relate to I am dreaming like a demon lately ...and this made my heart ache ... With love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Lucid dreaming is some

Lucid dreaming is some amazing stuff. You can live in and out of all 11 dimensions. Powerful place of healing and insight. Heartache, we all have 'em, eh? Loving you my Lady Jayne, ~A

orgami

16 years 8 months ago

poems and love

as always I admire your work "when I reach into memories I uncrumple" damn tremendous line! I still long for the great Love having had one four day excursion and still connected to the woman (want to call but its never just about talking...shes married and im comfortable common law) the memories are invincible thats for certian thank god we are far away from each other like Jayne says its heart achingly good!!!!! thanks

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Love your fall picture, O.

Love your *fall* picture, O. Now for the hard stuff, do you wonder if perhaps it's that *arms length* we're away from our *great Love* that makes it so passionate, so heart-achingly astonishing? Does reality kill this kind of love affair that is desire itself? I wonder. Thank you for reading. Much love, ~A

seabhac

16 years 8 months ago

Nearly didn't see this

I am glad I found this little gem and I can relate to the subject matter oh so well. I know it is so tinged with sadness but the beautiful thing about this write is there is no bitterness, I sense regret and inept frustration but also the drive and powerhouse behind some of your recent work You asked a relevant question in Does reality kill this kind of love affair that is desire itself? I ask another in What is the love we cannot have, is it the love of Love itself? I respect your work and words very much and your sharing gives me much food for thought

hushush8

16 years 8 months ago

re this

this is a terrfic fucking poem. out standing imagery reinforced by the dazzle of your line breaks really bring this poem to a standing ovation. killer close. peter

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Hi peter… but…..did you

Hi peter... but.....did you like it? Thanks for the uncensored comment. ;-) ~A

Kailashana

16 years 8 months ago

Hi, So glad you read this.

Hi, So glad you read this. Most of us are in love with love, our mental/emotional ideas of what love looks like, feels like. For me having been a seeker my whole life (until a few years ago) it was a search for truth, beauty. Now, I am bereft, I have no questions, no concerns. But now that I've found truth and beauty, I have no one to share it with. On one level no one is a very real being of immense intimacy, on another he is without form. So I can feel but can not touch, we are intimately one but I hunger for physicality. That's all I can explain in dialogue. I explain it much better in my Beloved series poems. It's Rumi's search for Shams. Who would have thought? ~A