Hole at the Seam

I read this poem to Olya. We actually turned down "The Daily Show" to read your poem aloud. It does contain some quite wonderful ideas, such as the pulling of the thread as a metaphor for the nearness in distance between our public posture (usually some semblance of appearing a survivor of life) and our anxiety/uncertainty about our worthiness and capacity to endure. Olya agrees. When I was young, I think I understood the value of having a guide - that person being someone who had lived through the angst and could offer a heads up about options and choices - however, I was also chalk full of hubris and wanted to mark my own path. That lack of patience proved to be a source of notable life pain. And for much of my life, I remained starkly uncertain about my ability to endure. We, the "sensitives", often find injustice and imperfections in the facades of the world and in the gristle too, and all too often use these as loosely disguised metaphors for our own harsh self-judgment. It is easier to focus externally. But here, you have focused on the self. It always takes more courage and strength to communicate apparent suggestions of weakness. It is a paradox. Humans are frail but the capacity to endure is demonstrated to us when we admit our frailty, survive our own outing, and make contact with those who value dealing with the real. Here, you are in all the images: the unthreading personage, the fiery judge, the gravel, the smile, even whatever is referred to as "outrageous". Of course, pejoratives such as malicious, coarse, contagious, and outrageous, are designed to control others assessments by jumping the gun and adding the pejoratives yourself - something one might call anticipatory judgment - preparing oneself for others criticism by getting to the bad stuff first. It is like saying, "No, you don't make me coarse because I have "decided" I am coarse. I own it so no one can foist it on me." The problem with this approach is that it is a form of self-abandonment, which actually doesn't make a person feel better, despite offering the mirage of control. Is "failure", however we define that, different if it is planned rather than accidental? Is "enduring" less scary if we try to convince ourselves that we are not trying? On a philisophical basis, why not internally accent the positive and deal with the pejorative when - and if - someone raises it in a meritorious fashion, then make the socially acceptable amends where appropriate. I say on philisophical basis, because poetically speaking, the whole process of inventing ourselves, sometimes in the melt of butter, sometimes with the melody of nails on a chalkboard, is rife with imaginative opertunity, not to be chegrined but embraced. This poem is a move toward an dialogue flirting with these ideas. It is very praiseworth. I do hope you continue the dialogue in your poems. You have every ingredient to do so: intelligence, communication skills, imagination and pause. And this is not a dialogue just about you but about us all - a universality whith always impowers poetry and, not surprisingly, life. All the above is about subject. As the subject fluctuates we also have style choices. One of the stylistic approaches which you have used here, and to which I am very partial, is the juxtaposition. Here the juxtaposition is between, for example, the course and the speechless. What makes juxtaposition so powerful is that for some strange reason, we keep forgetting that ideas contain their oposites. And when an author reminds us in an unusual setting the contrast is striking. I think that you have done that well here. It is a very good poetic tool. I do encourage you to not worry too much about gearing either content or style to rhyme, for the tail of the lines does not need to wag the poem. Overall, this poem strikes me as an advance in the case of both subject and style and therefore I am giving 5 stars for self-challenge. Brian

Wow this bordered on a rant ... bloody good write though and loved all of it ... hope you are okies darlin much love and hugs Jayne x x x Just got home from town and doc's am buggared sorry for short comments (huggles) love to Robb from me and him lol

Amazing, glad u r back. Quite a lot of thought seems to have gone into this strong write. I hope all is well with u. I hate reading sadness in poems, that's what I felt anyway. But I did enjoy it very much. Love from Lyz. XX

the fray in a woven tapestrey, is a life-long job. We constantly weave anew, while mending the old. Blending old and new to make it newer... more durable. You are evolving sir! Awesome write. ~ Gee

A-plus! Gotta catch the hell up wit ur work, man. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

I'm listening to Tom Waits at the moment, your poem reminds me of his singing. It rips a tear in what seems to be a universal tapestry of empathy and soliloquy. ~A