Existence

This a powerfully sad write ... well done ... sorry I dont have the words today to do this justice ... kind regards Jayne

I only propose a concept to think about . I can't comment on proper grammar , because I'm not smart enough as of now . But I myself am trying to improve the delivery of my poetry to a reader. And I will admit when I write I know exactly where I'm going with this poem . And my mind works faster then what I write. I forget to give the reader a link to thought to thought. Example [This night… with my idle body yet riveted mind Intrigued [ Intrigued by what leading to what prospects] by the prospects Unbeknown to most [and then the reader would know the unbeknown ] I survive Pain consumes [ what pains consumes you] Anxiety writhes [ what make anxiety writes] Manifests then relinquished Corina I could just given a simple comment ? but those who know me , know that I will push the envelope. I will exchange opinions with comments LOV2U PRESS