Cloudthings

Oct 02, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Speak to me and lift the gravity

Gravity
take your spirit tendrils
and secure me
Tonight the light and upside thinking
seek to lure me

An accent is an orbit
the tone can warp the mode
The speed of light through history
leaves shadows long forebode

Listlessness
A sullen sibling rivalry
once bloomed
in tender lonely moments
that degradingly felt doomed

Now we follow in delirium
a hologram like ghost
Shedding morbid intuition
for the things we yearn the most

But in your artistry
you worked and simply sculpted me
My joy and gullibility
a constant flaw for all to see

And as you shaped your words
dissected from me in the shape of birds
released my heart in feathered thirds
then half
then whole

So I call on
       …Gravity
               To gather most of me
                     Released and sectioned free
I cannot hold
      I am
            dissipating history
                 revolving in a slow unfolding mystery

— Cloudthings, Oct 02, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

Nordic cloud

16 years 8 months ago

I'm having fun Anni!!!!!

Oh Anni you speak conundrums drum of metaphor as we glissando through your verse, now upside down (after all you are in Australia!) and dissected out in the universe. Pulled this way, that way warped and stranded on your musical beach, like shells thrown out across the sandy reach. The competition of weeds and stones, of wings and bones so puzzling. Then looms the ghost in hologramatic form describing thoughts and semiconscious arts that toss your joy to play with in the winds; to find the streaks of ore within your gem which then in turn become the forms of birds, as if mad artists had created them Pythagorus' dream come true and yet 'tis mystery, not new. No one else will give you a comment like this then! It was exciting to read, and sets the mind in a tizz wazz of motion, to sort the tone and upside of it. To dear Anni who is more than upright and can swing a verse out of the air, she is a bird of pure poetic flair. Love from your Anushka

Cloudthings

16 years 8 months ago

I am swept up always in the waltzing arms of your comments to my

Anushka, Anushka, I am swept up always in the waltzing arms of your comments to my bright joy & revelry... I rejoice that you leave such wonders for me to reflect on & giggle through. Such a pleasure always to read you dear one... yes it is a naughty "Tizz wazz" (how I adore your terminology!). I read it hot on the heals of your comments & shook my head wondering what I was thinking... I hope it will not be too perplexing & off putting for readers... I'm afraid it was inspired by an "otter" conversation on science fiction & science realities (sigh... how I swoon for a brilliant mind) about what light looks like at the speed of light & how light is actually warped by gravity, I had a moment of feeling fractured as if parts of me were splitting into fragments of winged nature, it left me with such a sense of lightness & freedom when I allowed it to be. Life works so much better when it is surrendered to so much of the time, I am having to practice this even more than normal of late, it reduces stress & that is crucial. Serendipitously I found a beautiful bookshop in the tiny old stone dwelling smattered community of Robe where we stayed on the coast of South Australia (where I bumped into kindred of course & folk who knew & loved folk I know & love... I love this world.. you would have loved it!!! Why did I not get pictures!!) & fell into a wonderful book of Ursula LeGuinn short stories, it seems an age since I read a novel, it has been a pleasure being a passenger in car & train & bus armed with her amazing anthropological mind. & now I am home, an empty house (not that that isn't a pleasure, but odd after so much intense otter time). No, no one else would give me anything like you do dear Anushka of the Norwegien woods & wonders. Cheers Anni~ "The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself". Anais Nin:

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 8 months ago

I am quite partial to good

I am quite partial to good rhyme and the rhythm in this poem is quite good. I found the line breaks and spacing in the last two stanzas particularly effective. I liked "feathered thirds" so much for its texture and vision. Very good.

Cloudthings

16 years 8 months ago

I always think, if I can imagine saying it in the right context,

Thanks so much wisteria (I LOVE wisteria, it is blooming here in Aus just now, one of my favourite times of year because of that), in my dream house (not quite there yet, almost!) I will have bowers (like those out of "Wild Mountain Thyme", my love will build for me...ehemmm!) to grow wisteria to shade the front of the bay windows from the afternoon sun, & peer through up at the moon (bit like your pic here)... I digress, I am so VERY pleased to here that line worked "feathered thirds"... I was so worried it would seem contrived, but I always think, if I can imagine saying it in the right context, it's probably safe, & I definitely can... but then I am no ordinary girl... I suspect few of us here might think we are (he! maybe no-one does!) Take care, I must come visit your work. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama

Afzal Shauq

16 years 8 months ago

what a sweet stanza...?

Now we follow in delirium a hologram like ghost Shedding morbid intuition for the things we yearn for most wow.. what a sweet stanza is this one..really well expressed and some thing new is there that making me happy for...touching deep inside the thought you wrapped up with professional way.i am really sometimes like a crazy and think the same way you do..maybe I am a poet or just a mad one to have own world of words..the one who respect words, write well like you.. but me...hmmm sometimes I am just like mad to omit words..and then get surprise when readers like them and say..its good done.. dont know ..what i write and for whom? but I know my only craze is peace in big words..its the only dream if i see all happy and smiling..wish the world is in peace and there are no borders and every one is allowed to meet other... maybe I am wrong but I dream for a global family..any way..I like your work..its true

Cloudthings

16 years 8 months ago

I changed one word I wrote from reading it in your comment... &

Afzal your image says cowboy & forgive me for saying it, but your accent (English usage?) says otherwise, I am with you, world peace, a beautiful & worthy obsession & bravo to you, but the truth is, fear spreads in a world that holds up iconic images & symbols & catch phrases to fear... Perhaps I should add my voice some time soon & speak my heart against it also. As for my poem thank you & I changed one word I wrote from reading it in your comment... & a few others further up as I went over it... I am sure there is more I could tweek. Take care. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama

Afzal Shauq

16 years 8 months ago

greatttt

yes agree what you said here.. I am tourist too and always been moving.. traveling and enjoying around the world and writing my oservations and you could see in my writings that my thoughts are inspired by my observations.. my english is weak but its ok to me I can express my innerself..and sorry for spelling mistakes too..actually i write fast and am with many fans and friends at the same time.. wish to read your long comments about my poetry ..and let me know whats there in my poetry? is that enough good or so so...see you dear..yours shauq

Cloudthings

16 years 7 months ago

I did LOVE your smile poem translated to many languages by Wa

Shauq, I am remiss & have had so little time here I have hardly visited you or anyone, I hope to remedy that though can't see it for a time... I did LOVE your smile poem translated to so many languages by Wafi & co. really lovely work & I'm looking forward to reading more soon I hope... Never mind the spelling, it is nothing in the big picture. With a warm smile! Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama