hugo la rosa

Sep 22, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Justice is mine

Justice is Mine Perplexed feelings, strandedin the vastnessof truth denying truth,like eagles rise and fallagain and again.They look for foodsnatching rhyming timesas if there was nofreedom to do or say.Shrieking insults, burningsymbols agitated bytheir private voices of gloom.

Nevertheless, CelestialSingers sing the vastnessof the blue and forgiving

firmament abovethe apocalyptic armiesof clashing wordsmiths.
Everything seems to fail.
They’ve come to believe inthe mutual muteness of each

other as a given, lucky streak.But the night has fallen,and the moon shines againover the blood of the innocent.No body has seen anyvictory so far, for Justicehas been left behind the trenches.

Only the offended senses

cry alone and despondent inthe cruel silence of the desertedfields where no lilies seem to growanymore than thistles.

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: PER

Comments

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Hugo

This is a deeply profound piece, and yet all I could think about is the war of words going on at Neopoet, the childishness of one and the other unwilling to let it go. (what is it about last word freaks? Why must they always have the last word?) Sorry for the rant, your wonderful poem deserves better. Always, Cat

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

In answer to your questions...

Your title is good, language use is excellent, the piece flows well and the logic has continuity. Great work.

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Cat:

I'm a firm believer in the freedom of speech, and I see with sadness that sometimes people want to impose their own rules. Amidst the fog I can still see who has been true to the principle, not because she is my friend, but because she deserves to be left alone to do what she does with love and sincerity, which is excellent poetry. Thank you for your comment, Cat, and thank you for sharing your feelings with me. Gentle regards, Hugo

ziggy

16 years 7 months ago

justice is mine

enda, patrick collins. i can only echo cats comments not because i cant be bothered but she has a great nack for choosing the right words when doing so this is truly profound i dont think i have said that here before i had to read it a few times to get to grips with it which is my short coming not yours i can sence alot of carefully choosen words its well pieced together , do you mind if i ask how long this took to write my fav lines are , no body has seen any victory so far for justice has been left behind in the trenches, i love that it reminds me of a line from a neil young song ," no one wins its a war of man been a big big fan of him that from me is a big compliment this must be my longest comment to date , lol well done glad i read this many thanks ziggy

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Ziggy:

About your question: This poem took me no more than half hour to compose, and like 15 minutes to edit. It came from the heart! Sincerely, Hugo

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Hugo

Excellent, Oh man this is good. You have out done yourself with this one I think, I see no imperfection at all, title and story line kiss each other. Well done Hugo. Love all, no fault at all. Well done, You are an artist. Love Lyz. XX

Cloudthings

16 years 7 months ago

Woowie!!!! such a well deserved spotlight, this is a fantastic

Woowie!!!! such a well deserved spotlight, this is a fantastic write, I am so impressed. You have managed this sentiment into a cascading set of pooling response, so personal yet universal, you entice us all with conditions we all know inside, & speak them so we can ingest, in bite size sections, but in totality a feast here... & I am FULL, stuffed... no way I could not partake of all the fair here offered. Love it! Well done. Cheers Anni~ "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body". ~Elizabeth Stone

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Cloudthings:

Thank you for your great words of encouragement, you just made my day. Your picture is so vibrantly happy that first thing brings out the best in a person. It's really good and kind of you to visit my poem. I read your beautiful comment several times, as wanting to believe such wonderful things about myself or my poem. Thank you again. Sincerely, Hugo

Cloudthings

16 years 7 months ago

it is recognizing & acknowledging skill & speaking it honestly w

Pleased to have touched you then, I think it's the thing we want most as human though I'm not sure most of us realise it... to be able to move others, you moved me with this write, & you SHOULD be proud & acknowledge yourself for that, I am pleased if I have moved you by letting you know this... It's a good reciprocal system then. In the past some might have suggested but licking, but it isn't at all, it is recognizing & acknowledging skill & speaking it honestly without reserve. I wish people were less fearful to care about the progress of fellow human beings... but you have it from me, my reward will be to see you continue to grow, it grows me too... & all of us. Cheers Anni~ "The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself". Anais Nin:

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Hugo ...

You touch lightly on a miriad of things in this poem but its wonderful one of your best and, justice being left behind the trenchs , that I relate to all too well , justice isnt always served no matter what aspect of life it is ... sometimes humans are a wicked bunch and words are been there sharpest tool, through the centuries they have welded them with a might, they know will crush without thought for other people ... oh shit had a little rant meself ... see your poem inspires thought thats why your here in spotlight ... LOL got so tied up in the read I forgot to mention it ... congrates Hugo this is one of your best Love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Orphani

16 years 7 months ago

as i see you are honing your

as i see you are honing your skill and improving with every writing.there is no question of your skill and the merit of your work. my personal preferance is to stear clear of clech'e ,as in third stanza last line. though it seems apropriate in this instance, i think you can catipult it with a little tweak. your voice carries the weight of justice and is becoming a sharp sword.(and yes thats a clech'e worth repeating). ........o

seabhac

16 years 7 months ago

Well deserved Hugo

This flows beautifully. My favourite lines are. They’ve come to believe in the mutual muteness of each other as a given, lucky streak. I see your confidence growing in each new poem I read and it confirms to me that supportive writing makes a better writer. Well done.