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DS
Diatom Shells
Sep 18, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Sacrifice

Your glowing orifices rack her into places she cannot see And you unravel her heart slowly Arching beats to shrapnel The child in your eye kicks free and feeds upon dead stars Shocked and blooming "I promise to haunt you," she sighs. Her breath pregnant in her cheek . Don't you want to dissolve her on your seethed tongue While you chase gravity Deeper, deeper.... From a tree in the garden satan flashes light signals to heaven.... god breaks the last seal And oxygen spills into Eve's mouth
— Diatom Shells, Sep 18, 2009
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Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

You Really...

You really went out there with that one! Dead stars! I only can imagine that you were trying to give the impression of vast distance. Stars burning out before their light reaches our eyes. I believe that is where God lives. That is why it is taking him so long to get back, as he promised. LOL. Haunting me... I have to read this again and again. I really need to think about this one some more. ~ Gee~
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

even i...

I like to think that is where god lives. sometimes even I can't wrap my brain around the concepts that come from my muse but I just love writing and it makes different currents in my mind run backwords 'very bad pun intended' I like to think its good for the brain cells. thanks my gee friend! -shells
O

orgami

16 years 10 months ago

dial-up imagery

phosgenetic thought I had commented on this but in my previous state I guess I had not again I comment to you that I find your language of words and cohesion extremely interesting it piques my mind upon reading your thoughts your poem creations at mall extremely busy here and distracting in a good way coffee is delicious pick and chose stuff have to make it but its still better then Tim Hortons from a pot blah blah Thank You
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

oooh

u be cautious of those mall rats they will suck the blood right out of ya. I am happy to pique your mind anytime just give a call. -shells
L

lyz

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Diatom Shells

Your words are always written with beauty and sometimes intrigue, what I have gotten out of this read, is, The garden of Eden, the birth of Eve and temptation, so it may also mean the creation. Forgive me,if I am wrong, it takes me a while,lol, but I do love how u create and fill my head with wonder. this old mind of mine needs all the stimulation it can get. Lol. Love from Lyz. Xx
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

i find

your interpretation to be satisfactory and if coffe doesn't do the drink you just hit up lil ol kyrie to provide the stimulation lol.
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Diatom Shells,

I've been hijacked by the double post demon. Some things never change. Yours, ~Nina
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Diatom Shells,

you did it again (made my hair stick on end and made me shiver, that is. The ultimate sign for reading an awesome poem!). Glad to be back and finding such a precious jewel! Yours, ~Nina
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

hi ink!

I am glad to see you back, we've missed your mysterious presence. I am obliged to believe that you liked this because it is a baby. Please be careful not to drop her on head lol. its been very hectic lately so I've been slow to respond to my friends here at neo but I love to stop in and read everyones work. loves -shells
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

I think ...

It was a very good play on 'words' [pun intended] Too can play at that game. LOL ~ Gee
B

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Diatom Shells,

One motivation for conservatism is the comfort of the constant - a long fertilized nostalgia for the known - that pleasurable feeling that we can predict unfolding. You come to writing, arousing the words into the shape of lovers; making syllables breathless and yet blush-less. It is a sure skill and it touches on that comfort of the conservative each time I read your nouveau erotic-dance and its chronic lugubrious grace. Brian
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

hello brian!

I am always more than flattered when you stop in to read and comment on my work brian. thanks for the words of encouragement for I have been a little down lately even if u didn't mean them to be that, anyways thank you -shells

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