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S
ShePra
Sep 17, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

sometime I feel

Sometime I feel

As if I have not talked to you

Sometimes

As if I have talked from ages

 

Sometime I feel

As if you are a part of my self

But the other part feels

Your  absence

 

I am in conflict

With my own self

Where your presence

Where your absence

Both are felt...

 

Some times yes I do feel

— ShePra, Sep 17, 2009

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Country/Region: IND

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Critiques

T

tanha

16 years 8 months ago

To carry oneself honestly,

To carry oneself honestly, is tough to do..................you did to an extent,somehow something is missing keep going
S

ShePra

16 years 8 months ago

thank you very much,

thank you very much, Indeed life is a process of going on & understanding what is missing.. if again some day i carry the same kind of feeling i will try to give it an end.. otherwise there are so many things in life WITHOUT AN END. Regards ShePra
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 8 months ago

Sometime I

Sometime I feel..........................(sometimeS) As if I have not talked to you Sometimes................................( could be OTHER TIMES but not necessarily) As if I have talked from ages........(for ages, or a lot...or?)( I have spoken a lot) Sometime I feel.........................(sometimeS)( could use senses instead so that feels comes later) As if you are a part of my self But the other part feels........( repetition of feels..better with something else...notices is too long..sees.. Your absence I am in conflict With my own self.............(Own self is a bit too much...with myself is enough) Where your presence,....... (a comma helps the meaning here) Where your absence, Both are felt… Oh I do hope I have helped its not an easy task, but keep trying and you will be able to paint your own little water colours of poetry for us to enjoy, as I do enjoy them. Love from Ann of Norway
R

raj

16 years ago

ShePra

Inner thoughts very well expressed in this write ...i believe poetry is a good medium to contemplate and in doing that many a times one finds the path...the missing link...when one is dealing with conflicts... warmly..raj (sublime_ocean)