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O
Orphani
Sep 17, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

You with lost eyes

You with lost eyes,
Morning pierce of  indolent clouds                                                                                                      
Dream  the pine needle azure dream                                                   
Above the Autumn confetti heart
 Summers left behind in                                                                                                       
 Careless scattered acorns
Disheveling the tidy path,)
Where
 Hands touched mine with perfect solicitation,
Of questioning fingers.
Not near enough the bedded flowers of your feet
Walking beyond the far flung grain
where I loved
With the eyes lost
As i took the scarecrows face
And the black, black, crows
Dissembled formless
In the pumpkin field
I held you,
Empty, with  children.
— Orphani, Sep 17, 2009

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Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 8 months ago

pearls indeed! These are beaded divinely, your words laced here

Wow, wow, wow! I was tidying here & found you in these various fields & patches & forests. You astound me, & I am so extremely pleased to be finding your writes... Just supurb, sad, but so exquisitly so we cannot help but love them. How tragic that so often pain is the thing that brings the most beauty.... pearls indeed! These are beaded divinely, your words laced here on screen, just lovely!!!! Cheers Anni~ "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body". ~Elizabeth Stone
L

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

Dear O

A bit of romance turn horror, i liked this, I am unsure though, if he was or became the scarecrow. whatever, I loved the way this is written and the read was interrupted at the end. Lol. Love from Lyz. Xx
O

Orphani

16 years 8 months ago

Lyz,poems can take on

Lyz,poems can take on interpretations beyound that originaly intended by the author this is common in more abstract or cryptic works and is not detractive . He became the scarecrow when he gave his eyes away, and put on the scarecrows face as it says.but whatever works best for you.Love ......o
L

Lonnie

16 years 8 months ago

Poetic Excellence de-mystified!

My sincere admiration, Sir, for your impressive imagery, your lyrical language, and your obvious talent! You have shown the rest of us how the mysterious essence of poetic thought should be revealed! Kudos!
Seren

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Barry

Mixing horror and beauty in one poem you did it with an ease of a master , and I could picture your poor body being picked away while sightless eyes yearn for what they cannot see ... brilliant man brilliant mind ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x p.s sorry for the lateness of my visit my body caved in two days ago and made me sleep lol but am feeling better today and this might have inspired another write,will send to you when its fully formed lol ;)
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 8 months ago

Oh what sounds, oh what sensations

You hint at the sensuous and wondrous feelings of the fingers and body in your description of acorns and other natural phenomena giving this poem a particular sensual music of its own. From the careless acorns on the path, toes and fingers mixed with fields of corn now sewn- turned into a scarecrow only to be devoured by them. A strangeness makes us see surreal images in this poem and leaves us with an ethereal feeling of disquiet that I like to feel, as one can after a film, one goes on in another world, the world created for us by the film. Indolence of clouds, part onomatopoeic part humorous, odd juxtapositioning of meanings creates this unusualness too, yes definitely a bit surreal. Orphani. Yours Ann of Norway
L

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

Excelling

I must say. You are in a tidy the house mood Mr. Well done and the last stanza, it is good. Love Lyz. XX
O

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

Where the hell have you

Where the hell have you been? I looked all over this site for you.I'll bet you've been hanging with the bad crowd at Neo again: Theo.Ann, Seran,Brian,Hardcore chick, And the Geezer.So streighten out, and get writing, or i'll tell that horse to kick your nose, or worse yet, fart.Good to know your stalking the halls of Neo my old friend. I miss you.B
L

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

Ha, Ha.

Have you smelt a horse fart? I think I would rather a kick in the nose. Lol. While you are vacuuming, I am checking out poems I have missed out on but it is taking me forever, lol. I will get the old grey matter bleached soon and try to come up with something. lol. Never enough time in the day. As for your poetry, when I reach you, I am going to be confused on where to start. Boy, you make it difficult. As for the bad crowd, I thought you were right there in the middle, oh. such a bad bunch of intellectuals, hey? You all can steer me wrong any day. Lol. Today I am sitting with a coffee and I am going to peruse then get stuck into some work and hopefully see if I can get to meet up with Jayne this arv. So I will heed your warning dear man, and I will catch you later. Love Lyz. XX