hugo la rosa

Sep 16, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Silent Day

The orange of the sun

is dwindling over

the rooftops,

and the inert

vestiges of

yellow still play,

forgotten,

in the silence

of twilight,

in the autumnal

breeze where you

and I might be

still daydreaming,

silent as the day.

By now, you probably

may be knitting

dreams of the past,

but once again

your ancient

frenzy hope stares

to a dark, blue sky,

staring simple to

another

day in which my

thoughts did not

merge

with yours.

That same recurrent

vision where I saw

you, stays lost

in the rain, precarious

as the sleep that will not

bless you, under the

trembling shadows

of your lonely,

empty house.

You keep watching

the days go by as far

away barges,

thinking that you may

never, never be joyful

or happy.

I am indeed as far,

and fuzzy as the

senseless stars,

the beckoning voice

of the agitated ocean,

calling, always calling

you in the splashing,

roaring waves.

The eerie night, soon

may answer

to a nothing,

to that void in which

the smiling truth

you have

been looking for

so long now, has died

within your closing,

little, rosy hands.

The orange of the sun

is dwindling over

the rooftops,

and the inert

vestiges of

yellow still play,

forgotten,

in the silence

of twilight,

in the autumnal

breeze where you

and I might be

still daydreaming,

silent as the day.

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: PER

Comments

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Hugo

Breathlessly beautiful Hugo ... I cannot pick favourite lines I love them all ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Jayne

Your line of words, even though brief, tells me you liked this poem. Thank you, this poem is really a common theme which could be summarized: Where is the life I've lost by living? Regards, Hugo

mantiscepter

16 years 7 months ago

I believe this poem is fantastic, after searching my mind,I know for a fact it is very deserving, this was beautifully written piece, with a presence of strong descriptive words, that flow in visual, barrage of colors and feelings, that touched my soul. a joy to read. John Mantiscepter

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Mantiscepter:

It's really an honor, thank you for your first visit. I really appreciate your words; your critique is very motivating, and enlightening. If you don't mind, I'll ad you as friend, for I want to read your work, from now on. Best Regards, Hugo

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Hugo

This is Majestic.Very vivid ,flows great and I love this, even if it is a little sad, but you have given the reader something to feel. Loved It. Love Lyz. XX

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Lyz:

I always like to read comments as if they were poems, trying to read between lines the mood and the intensity of the writer. I certainly love your words, they are perceptive and also very kind and generous; they are a real pleasure to read. Regards, Hugo

Orphani

16 years 7 months ago

you and i are kindred souls

you and i are kindred souls hopless romantics lost in time and place adrift in the moment when lips touch in that eternal first kiss.time constraines and can't do justice now...........o

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

My friend Orphani:

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked this poem. The poem is a little hopeless though, and instead stays in love with love itself, I mean the eternal image of woman. Regards, Hugo

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Hugo

Good title, great pacing and I loved the message. Your poems are always so loving and masterfully written. It is almost like you invented the language. Favorite lines are: The orange of the sun is dwindling over the rooftops, and the inert vestiges of yellow still play, forgotten, in the silence of twilight, in the autumnal breeze where you and I might be still daydreaming, silent as the day. Did I tell you I loved the beginning and end? lol! Always, Cat

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Cat:

Thank you once again for your comment, it really made smile when you said that it seemed to you that I've invented the language, lol. You know that English is my second language, and at first it was difficult. Now, thanks God, I can say that I have the blessing to write from the heart, almost automatically, because if I were to use the brain, it would take forever, lol. You made my day with your agreeable humor. Best Regards, Hugo

seabhac

16 years 7 months ago

wow

It knocked me out Hugo, just beautiful...a real glimmer of light on a dark day.

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Seabhac:

You are a really good writer yourself, and coming from you, all words of praise and encouragement mean a lot to me. Thank you again! Best Regards, Hugo

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

Now you will chide me Hugo?

The orange of the sun is dwindling over the rooftops, and the inert vestiges of yellow still play, forgotten, in the silence of twilight, in the autumnal breeze where you and I might be still daydreaming, silent as the day. By now, you probably may be knitting dreams of the past, but once again your ancient frenzy hope...(?) stares to a dark, blue sky, staring simple ..........staring simple? to another day in which my thoughts did not merge with yours. That same recurrent vision where I saw you, stays lost in the rain, precarious as the sleep that will not bless you, under the trembling shadows of your lonely, empty house. You keep watching the days go by as far away barges,...(?) thinking that you may never, never be joyful or happy. I am indeed as far, and fuzzy ............AS fuzzy-odd word here? as the senseless stars, the beckoning voice of the agitated ocean,........(like this) calling, always calling you in the splashing, roaring waves. The eerie night, soon may answer to a nothing, to that void in which the smiling truth you have been looking for so long now, has died within your closing little rosy hands. The orange of the sun is dwindling over the rooftops, and the inert vestiges of yellow still play, forgotten, in the silence of twilight, in the autumnal breeze where you and I might be still daydreaming, silent as the day. ********************************************************************** Aw shucks, now I have rearranged the whole thing, in that way it has more coherence and logic to me, except for here and there where I do not understand what you mean at all! I haven't changed a word, nor much the pacing, and the idea, the vision of the evoked images is beautiful, the only jarring moments was with fuzzy and even knitting when the rest of the poem is floating in other realms of dream like ephemeral beauty. There you are take it or leave it, I LOOKED!!! Love to you Hugo from Ann of Norway

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Ann Of Norway:

It's been more than a couple of weeks that I wrote this poem, and what you just said is quite understandable, now that I have a little more perpective. Thank you Ann of Norway, once again! Best Regards, Sir Hugo