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Bonitaj
Bonitaj
Sep 15, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

JUST TO SHARE

 your arms were fullholding just you your hair weti couldn't speak my words deadnot leaving or breathing just leaning into that moment the magicand you
impenetrableintractableyou seemed not to carewho was I the strangerwanting just to sharethe moment  that magicand you
BjR  15 September '09
— Bonitaj, Sep 15, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

More from this author

Critiques

O

Orphani

16 years 8 months ago

the contradiction is this:

the contradiction is this: the person with wet hair is depicted as self obsorbed" holding only you" the" I "in the poem is depicted unable to reach a closeness, yet the moment and the you, are called magic...ie paradox poems somtimes take on various nuances based on each word that may convey uninteded or ambiguous meanings.that is somtimes the fun of exploring this art form, and somtimes not
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 8 months ago

right on the money!

good sensitive, intuitive interpretation! Check out the literature on Narcissism and co-dependency... Says it all ;)
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 8 months ago

Boni,

this is powerful stuff. Do I detect a new simplicity in your writing? Oh, I have to catch up on your recent work, this one is making my mouth water :) Yours, ~Nina
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 8 months ago

So good

to have you back on site again Nina! I hope you can stay - or at least visit more often!!! ;) Thanks for your invaluable insights! Boni
Seren

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Boni

I agree with Nina there seems to be a shift in your writing lately and I am loving it I only have one thing ??? your arms were full holding just you you hair wet ------ do you mean you or your ? as O said a paradox of one wanting and the other oblivious kind regards Jayne
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 8 months ago

Thanks Jayne!

Perhaps a little lighter? I'm not that aware of the shift - so I'm glad you see something I don't/can't! (as always!) It's in the eye of the beholder! lol THanks Boni ps PLEEZE! COME BACK WITH MY STARS!!!
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 8 months ago

Boni...

simple is much better... I like where you went with this exquisite little write. a couple of suggestions... you knew that was coming didn't you. holding just you you hair wet (or maybe simply leave that "you" out, but I like it) the magic and you (I like that too, for the first stanza) the magic of you (just a suggestion for the ending) loved this write Boni... so scrumptious Richard
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 8 months ago

Richard!

You nearly had me there! buying into THE MAGIC OF YOU! But... I changed THE to THAT... and it still hinges around the concept of overall magic... get it! lol! Loved that you guys liked it! Short and sweet and something I had to get out there! Thanks guys! Your the best critics a gal could ask for! ps. If you can - just read those first couple of lines again - and realize that "your arms were full holding just you" meant that this person's arms were crossed! Does that give you a different take? ;)
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 8 months ago

Gee Thanks!

that was a powerful compliment! sometimes the simplest things can baffle us the most! Thank you for stopping by! Bonita j
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 8 months ago

More like

SURPRISED! Wet hair person! THe strength of that encounter was staggering... Thanks for your generous comment as usual! Best Boni